A tiny blond girl with pixie-like features came up to the sink next to Talley and caught her reflection in the mirror. “You okay?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah.” Talley plastered on a smile. “My allergies are horrible this time of year.”
Tinkerbell shut off the water and grabbed a handful of paper towels. “Yeah, I’m allergic to assholes, too.”
“He’s not an… an…” But the girl was gone before Talley could work up the nerve to say it. It was probably for the best anyway. Talley would have just been embarrassed when she only managed a small whisper. An eighteen-year-old who was living nearly four hours away from her mother should be able to cuss without fearing the hand of God would reach out of the heavens and smite her. At least, an eighteen-year-old with a backbone would be able to.
Talley felt ashamed for not being able to speak up and defend her friend. Jase really wasn’t what that girl said he was. Okay, so he had his moments, like tonight, but overall he was a good person. He truly cared about her, which was what made everything even harder. It would be easier to accept his actions if she thought they were out of spite or callousness, but she knew better. Jase was just trying to protect her. He didn’t mean to crush her soul into a million little pieces by telling her she was undatable. He was only trying to protect her from being used. It wasn’t his fault he couldn't think of her as a normal girl. In his head, she was the same non-gender he considered his sisters to be. He simply couldn’t imagine that she would want to be thought of as pretty, or that she would long for her first real kiss.
Eighteen years old and never kissed. Just the thing she needed to remember because she wasn’t feeling nearly pathetic enough already.
Speaking of pathetic, hiding in the bathroom so you don’t have to face your date qualifies.
After making a few more make-up adjustments, Talley squared her shoulders, steeled her nerve, and gave her hair one last comb through with her fingers before pushing open the bathroom door. The coffee shop was one of the most popular in town thanks to the homemade designer donuts they sold. It was why she chose it as their meeting place. Not the donuts - although the peanut butter and honey one was to die for - but the crowd. She trusted Walker… mostly. But since she couldn’t get a strong lock on his thoughts, she felt more comfortable meeting him somewhere public. She didn’t like being suspicious of people, but she was learning the world wasn’t always a nice place. Sometimes people tried to cut off your best friend’s head. After events like that, caution and skepticism were unavoidable.
At first Talley thought she had beaten him there, but then a couple with triplets moved closer to the counter and she saw him sitting at a corner table. He saw her about the same time and stood up, waiting for her to wind her way through the crowd like someone from once upon a time when the world was filled with chivalry and sexism.
“You came.”
“I did.” She wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette was. Did she just sit down? Was she supposed to initiate some sort of contact, like a handshake or a hug? Normally she wasn’t opposed to hugs, but it seemed a little presumptuous, not to mention, she really had no desire to hug Walker. “Ummm… I need coffee,” she said, halting a good four feet from the table.
“Of course!” A tremor was obvious in Walker’s voice. Talley wondered if it was always there. The strangled panic made a bit of sense when she was covered in soda or pointing a gun at him, but this was just coffee. Hundreds of people were probably doing the exact same thing at the exact same moment. There was really no reason for him to be nervous. Then again, there wasn’t really any reason for her to be nervous either, but the constriction around her chest and racing heart told her she most certainly was. “I should have already gotten you some, but I didn’t know what you liked.” He rounded the table and pulled out her chair. “Here. Please, sit and I’ll go grab you something.”
“No, I can—”
“Absolutely not,” Walker said, sounding sure of himself for the first time. “I offered to take you out for coffee. That offer included me buying, so just sit down, tell me what you want, and don’t even think about pulling out your money.”
Talley had technically asked him out for coffee, but since he seemed so intent on doing the gentlemanly thing, she took the offered seat and gave him her order. While he waited in the long line she watched the people around her. It was the normal college crowd. T-shirts abounded, most of them bearing the university’s logo or declaring in various and sometimes insulting ways that their basketball team was the best in the world.
Not for the first time, Talley marveled how the rest of the world was going along as normal when her entire life felt so off kilter. The room was filled with couples; some were flirting and laughing, others were simply enjoying one another’s company. There was even one couple on the other side of the room who seemed to be involved in some sort of argument based on the lines bracketing their mouths and the narrow slits of their eyes. Normal people having a normal evening out. They didn’t spend hours every day wondering where their best friend was and if she was still alive. They didn’t call the hospital three times every day to check and make sure another friend was still hanging on. They didn’t worry every minute of every day that someone was watching them. For those people, if the person sitting across from them was only there because they wanted to gain prestige and power it would have been one of the worse things imaginable. For Talley, it would be a relief.
By the time Walker returned, melancholy had replaced her nervousness.
She tried to listen as he rattled on about his favorite movies (the Jason Bourne series), favorite music (Mumford and Sons), and the reasons he preferred British TV. When he would ask about what she liked, she gave noncommittal answers before steering the conversation back to him. The truth was, if this had been a normal date she would have probably enjoyed the evening. Walker was interesting and kind, and he was just nerdy enough she felt comfortable around him. He wasn’t the most attractive guy she’d ever seen, but the more he talked, the cuter he got.
For a moment, Talley allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to believe this was real and could actually go somewhere. What would it be like? Would she let him walk her back to her dorm? Would she let him kiss her goodnight? Was he having a good time? Good enough that he would ask her out again? Would her mother like him? Would her friends? Would Jase?