There’s a soft touch on my wrist. “You’re crying,” Realm whispers. Startled, I look at him while he takes a cautious glance around at the nurses. He reaches to swipe under my eye with his shirtsleeve and then calls bullshit to no one in particular, just to distract them. They all start laughing and sifting through the cards, but I watch Realm, grateful. We go back to playing, but as the minutes tick by, my reflexes get slower. Soon they’re yelling at me to throw down a card, and I have to fold my hand and step out.
Realm stands when I do. “You don’t look well,” he says.
“Tired. Nurse Kell gave me a pill and—”
“Wait, that’s what happened in the hall? Why would she give it now?”
“I don’t know.”
Realm puts his arm on my mine and steadies me against him. I don’t argue. I’m starting to feel disoriented, and the prospect of getting all the way to my room seems impossible.
“I’ll be back, guys,” Realm says, tossing his cards down. They grumble something I can’t hear, and then Realm is easing me away. “Can I walk you home?” he asks, joking.
I don’t respond and instead hold on to his elbow as he leads us out. Once we’re in the hall, Realm slides his arm over my shoulder. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “I’ll get you back safely.”
The hall seems to tilt in front of me, but at the other end I think I see someone. I think I see Roger. I stagger back and grab a handful of Realm’s shirt. “Don’t let him near me like this,” I beg.
“Who?” Realm shoots a glance in Roger’s direction and then freezes. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
Roger looks at us, and I’m suddenly scared that he’ll come for me now, when I’m too weak to fight back. I nearly stumble over my own feet. “Just get me out of here,” I say.
Realm rushes me in the other direction, but his eyes are dark when he looks back over his shoulder at Roger.
When I’m finally in a private room, it takes a second for me to realize it’s not mine. Everything is so foggy. “Where am I?” I ask.
“My room,” Realm says. “Hope that’s okay.” He keeps his head out the door, looking around as if he’s keeping watch. I stagger toward his bed.
“I can take you back to yours when you wake up. You look like you’re about to crash hard,” Realm adds.
I don’t argue about being in his room as I climb onto his bed, laying my head on the pillow with a sigh. My eyes are already closed when Realm comes to cover me with his blankets, tucking them carefully around me.
“I’ll be back later, okay?” he says.
“Mm . . . hmm.”
He chuckles softly and I feel a touch on my forehead—a kiss, I think. And then he leaves to let me sleep off the medication, and I try not to worry about what—or who—will be waiting for me when I get up.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I WAKE UP TO THE SOUND OF SHOUTS COMING FROM the hallway. I sit up suddenly, regretting it the moment I do because it feels like my brain might fall out. Pain pulses in my temples as I try to get my bearings and look around the unfamiliar room.
“Michael!” I hear what sounds like Nurse Kell yell. “Get off him!”
“Stay away from her, or I swear to God, I’ll kill you myself!”
I gasp, sure that’s Realm’s voice. I climb quickly out of the bed and go to the door, opening it just a crack to look out the way Realm does. Halfway down the hall, Realm has got his forearm to Roger’s throat, pinning him to the wall. But Roger isn’t saying anything. He’s just staring back at Realm as if challenging him.
“Michael,” Nurse Kell says again, only softer. She touches Realm’s arm and he suddenly drops it, making Roger stumble to the floor. For a minute I think Realm might kick him, but instead he steps back with obvious restraint.
I open the door more and it creaks, making all of them look over at me. When Realm turns in my direction, I see that one of his eyes is puffed up. Nurse Kell immediately bristles. “Sloane,” she says. “Return to your room.” Then she takes Realm roughly by the elbow. “We need to see Dr. Warren now,” she hisses.
Realm shrugs at me, almost like an apology, and then lets himself be led down the hall. My heart pounds in my chest as it fills with worry. What if they send him away? Hurt him? Realm is my only friend, and what if they take him from me too?
Just then I notice Roger, still sitting on the floor. When my eyes meet his, he winks, and then gets up to hobble away.
• • •
I wait in the dining room, not touching my food as I sit by myself. They haven’t brought Realm back yet and I’m completely panicking. I haven’t told anyone what I saw, but I heard Derek and the other guys say that Realm punched out a handler and now he’s getting shipped off to another facility. My fingers shake as I try to eat a spoonful of Jell-O.
“Can I sit with you?” Tabitha asks, motioning to the empty chair across from me.
“Oh. Sure.” It’s a chance to see her up close for the first time. She has dyed red hair, but from the roots I imagine it’s naturally dark. Her skin is pale and her eyes are a light hazel. She’s pretty in a really emo sort of way. She sort of reminds me of Lacey—or at least, the old Lacey.
“I see your bandage,” she says, taking the first bite of her food. “Did you try to slit your wrists?”
“Sort of. But I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I was just pissed.”
She laughs. “Yeah, right. So where’s Realm?” she asks, and I suspect it was her real question from the beginning. “He said I could play cards with him today. Oh”—she pauses, smiling—“maybe he’ll let you play too. He’s pretty nice. Cute, too, right?”
I stare at her, trying to see if there are any obvious signs of damage. I’ve never heard of anyone surviving QuikDeath before. Lacey had thought about taking it. She wanted Miller to take it with her.
Wait—Miller. What happened to Miller?
“What’s that look? You don’t think he’s hot?” Tabitha is grinning from ear to ear, but I don’t answer her and instead look down toward my tray.
What the hell happened to Miller? In my mind, it’s like he’s there and then suddenly . . . gone. “Oh my God,” I say. “I can’t remember.”
“Are you okay?” Tabitha asks, sounding frightened. “Should I get the nurse?”