“How are your feet?” he asked while gathering some wood from a pile stacked just outside the cabin door.
“All pins-and-needles. That’s good right? No feeling is bad; pain is good?”
Liam shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
It took us the better part of two hours to get the fire going. We stopped just long enough to eat a few sticks of beef jerky and a can of applesauce to restore some of the calories we lost during the Change, although not nearly enough. Normally I gorge after a Change, eating at least 5,000 calories for breakfast alone, but knowing how little food we actually had, I rationed myself.
“Whose cabin is this?” I asked later as Liam took inventory of the firewood stacked against the wall.
“Mine,” he said as he examined a piece of kindling. “My dad built most of the outside, but Alex and I finished it a few years ago.”
“You did all this?” I looked around, taking in everything with new eyes. “Impressive,” I said, and meant it. The cabin wasn’t big, but it kept out the wind and snow. The furniture wasn’t pretty, but it was functional and sturdy. If Jase and I attempted to build a cabin and furnish it there would have been nothing to show for our efforts other than a couple of trees chopped down in the middle of the forest. Actually, that’s probably overly optimistic. If Jase and I managed to chop down a single tree it would have been a miracle.
“Alex is the one who figured out how to make it all work. I just put it together,” he said as if building a cabin and piecing together furniture without the assistance of the home improvement professionals at Lowe’s was a menial task.
Once we both thoroughly examined the inside of the cabin, we began unloading the sled. By the time we had everything inside and arranged in something that could pass as order, it was getting dark. After a dinner of cold beans and tuna, I found myself yawning on a regular basis.
And that is when I realized there was only one bed.
“So… ummm… it’s… ummm… bedtime for Scout,” I said in fashion which in no way hid my discomfort.
Liam rubbed the top of his head. “Yeah, there’s some blankets and stuff.” Which I already knew because I moved them from the cabinet to sit on top of the bed during our efforts to get all the food we brought with us in the cabinet.
I got up and walked over to my bag. “I guess I’ll put on my pajamas now.” My intention had been to go change in the outhouse - yes, we had an old-fashioned outhouse - but I wasn’t looking forward to it. At all. Not only did it not have plumbing, it was completely without heat. Or lights. And was a really long way away from the cabin.
Thankfully, Liam saved me. “I’ll just…” He jerked a thumb towards the door. I nodded a little too enthusiastically, eager to have some privacy, space, and warmth while I stripped.
I assumed Liam was going to the bathroom or some such thing when he left, but when I heard a scratch at the door later I realized what he had done.
“Hey, you,” I said, opening the door for the wolf. “Do I need to go get his clothes?” Liam disappeared back around the corner for a moment, and when he came back there was a carefully tied bundle of clothes in his mouth.
I gave the wolf another can of food and brushed the snow and dirt out of his fur before we crawled in bed, me beneath the covers and him curled up on top, his head resting on the pillow beside mine. I thought it would take a long time for me to get used to his breathing right next to my ear, but it was mere moments before exhaustion overtook me, and I slid headlong into a dreamless sleep.
***
I woke up the next morning, fully rested and completely toasty. My nose was buried in the wolf’s warm neck, my fingers wrapped in his fur. “You’re like a heating pad,” I muttered, only half-awake. “A nice, fuzzy heating pad. Or maybe an electric blanket.” His nose came around and bumped my forehead, and I let out a tiny yelp. “Okay, so not all of you is nice and warm.”
Liam’s eyes shone with laughter as he stood up and leapt off the bed. He grabbed his clothes bundle, trotted over to the door, and waited impatiently for me to open it.
“Grow some opposable thumbs,” I said from the bed. “I like these blankets and have no intention of leaving them until I absolutely have to.” I was already starting to get cold without him. I couldn’t be sure, since we didn’t have a thermostat, but I thought the temperature had dropped significantly in the past twenty-four hours.
Liam didn’t really care about my distaste for facing the cold, if his impatient growl was anything to go by. I tried to ignore it, but when the whining started up, I gave in. I made sure to call him a few choice names and wish for unmentionable body parts to get frostbite as I let him out.
My first few days as a Canadian were exhausting. The cabin had survived without anyone tending to it for years better than one could have reasonably hoped, but there were still lots of repairs to be done. Liam and I climbed on the roof to remove a limb and fix the damage underneath. We worked on sealing off all the cracks where air could get in. There was an ax hanging next to the fireplace, and Liam and I used it to chop down a tree.
Have you ever chopped down something with an ax? Not fun. I now have serious doubts regarding George Washington and his cherry tree.
Every night, Liam went outside and Changed before bed. Every morning, I woke up cuddled into the wolf’s warmth. It was nice, but it couldn’t continue.
“You can’t keep doing this,” I said on the fifth night when Liam made his way outside after sundown. “We don’t have enough food to fuel your Change every night.” He just stood there with his hand on the door. “You’re not getting enough calories even now. There’s no way you can do this all winter.”
He came back into the cabin and grabbed the extra blanket I hadn’t felt a need to use yet from beside the bed. It wasn’t until he began folding it into a long rectangle that I realized his intention.
“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” The look he gave me made color rush to my cheeks. “Good grief, Liam. I’m not going to molest you. Just get in the freaking bed.” I plopped back onto my pillow and then turned quickly to face the wall. There are very rare times when I get so embarrassed I cry, and if this was going to be one of them, I didn’t want Liam to see my tears. It would only serve to piss me off, which often brings even more tears.