She was afraid he'd tell her his grandmother was right. That he could never consider marrying her if she wasn't a werewolf.
Yeah, it still seemed stupid that she'd worry about it at this point in their relationship. But then, Kylie kept coming back to the fact that being girlfriend and boyfriend was supposed to be all about finding that one person you'd spend your entire life with.
Should she live for the day or plan for the future? And should she start something when she knew it wouldn't and couldn't last? Could she risk giving her heart to someone who could never truly be hers?
Earlier that night, when Lucas came by, they'd sat on the porch, kissed, and stared up at the moon. "You don't feel anything when you look at it?" he'd asked her.
He no longer tried to hide the fact that he wanted her to be were. And it was getting harder for her to pretend that it didn't bother her. Not that it changed how she felt about him. Everything from his smile to his blue eyes to the way he kissed-it all captivated her. The time she was close to him was about the only time she really felt at peace.
Kylie remembered telling Holiday she needed a touchstone, something that felt completely right. Lucas had become her touchstone. In some ways, he was like the falls. When she was close to him, when she felt his warm touch on her, all her problems seemed so much smaller.
But when he wasn't close, those problems came back to sit on her shoulders and eat away at her sanity. Eventually, Kylie knew they needed to talk about the whole bloodline issue. And even his question about her going out. Although she got the feeling he assumed she'd said yes. Looking back, she realized that considering their conversation that day, he might even have reason to believe it. So she'd let that one slide, but the bloodline issue wasn't that easy to drop.
But for now, she decided to just let it be.
"Hey!" Della's voice snapped Kylie back to the present as she walked out of her room. "Is Miranda back yet from her make-out session with Perry?" She plopped down at the kitchen table behind where Kylie sat at the computer desk.
"Not yet." Kylie glanced back. Della looked bored or depressed. She'd been extra quiet lately. Ever since Parents Day.
"What are you doing?" Della asked.
Worrying. "My mom finally got me my great-grandmother's maiden name. I thought I'd put it in the database on that genealogy Web site and see if I get anything."
"Why don't you just put a feather in your hat and call yourself an Indian?"
Kylie frowned. "That's not nice."
"Sorry," she muttered. "I'm in a pissy mood."
"Why?" Kylie stood and grabbed two diet sodas from the fridge and then dropped back down in the kitchen chair.
Della took the drink Kylie slid over to her and popped the top. It fizzed and she pressed her lips to the rim of the can to catch the overspill. When she looked up, she had tears in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Kylie asked.
Della made a little hiccup noise, and Kylie realized that the vamp was crying. She stopped herself from going over there and hugging Della, because she knew Della hated that.
"Della? Tell me what's wrong." And instantly, Kylie got tears in her eyes, too.
Della swiped at her cheeks. "I miss it. It's just like Ellie said. I miss being normal. I miss living with my family. I know I'm lucky to be here. Lucky to have you and Miranda as my best friends. And I'm happy that you've got Lucas and Miranda has Perry, but it just makes me miss Lee, and it hurts so bad sometimes. And I know I should try to go for Steve, but I'm not ready." She hiccuped again and more tears slipped from her dark lashes onto her cheeks. "I miss it. All of it. I miss being human."
Kylie started crying in earnest now. Not just for Della, but for herself. "I know," she said. "I miss it, too."
* * *
The next morning, Kylie woke up staring at the back of Della's head. Because Della was the only one with a full-size bed, they had ended up going to Della's bed and talking until they'd fallen asleep. Something moved at Kylie's back and she quickly rolled over and stared at a yawning Miranda.
"What are you doing here?" Kylie asked.
"I thought it was a spend-the-night party and I wanted to come," she said. Then she popped out her bottom lip. "You two didn't even wait up on me."
"You were late," Kylie said, and yawned.
"I know." Miranda grinned. "We had such a good time. We went swimming at the lake. Just the two of us. It's almost a full moon and it was so romantic."
"You went skinny-dipping?" Della asked, and rolled over, sounding half-asleep.
"No. But he did. Only because he thought I was going to." Miranda giggled. "I wore my bathing suit under my clothes, because he said we were going to the lake. And when I started pulling my jeans off, he thought I was taking it all off and he took his off and dove in really fast."
Kylie and Della started laughing.
"But I didn't see anything. Plus, he made me turn around when he got out and pulled his shorts back on."
The three of them stayed in bed, giggling, until they were almost late for breakfast.
It was a good morning. Not quite as mind-easing as being with Lucas, but Kylie had to admit that Della and Miranda were becoming her touchstones as well. Right now, she felt capable of facing another day of problem solving.
But the good mood took a nosedive when they walked into the dining hall and everyone turned and stared at them.
No, not at all of them. Just at Kylie. Or rather, they gaped at her forehead while tightening their brows. Obviously, her pattern was doing something weird again.
"Damn!" someone said. There were several gasps, a couple of whispers, and a few people even dropped their forks. Then came the dead silence-the kind of silence that screamed disbelief.
Della and Miranda both turned toward her and tightened their brows.
Miranda's eyes widened in shock. "Oh, my!"
"Shit," said Della.
"What is it?" Kylie asked.
Della swallowed and leaned in. "You finally opened up. Your ... your pattern is readable."
Chapter Thirty-two
"What am I?" Kylie gripped Della's arm. "I need to know." Holy hell, she'd been waiting for the answer to this question for months. "Please, Della!"
"You..." Della shook her head. "You're human. One hundred percent human."
"Not funny." Kylie wanted to believe Della was teasing her, but the look on her roommate's face said otherwise. But how could she be human after everything that had happened to her? She remembered crying last night and telling Della she missed being human. Missed being normal. Had she willed it to happen?