I run after her, and it’s not until my feet hit the cold concrete outside that I remember I don’t have any shoes. It doesn’t matter. I chase after her down the stairwell.
“Lou! Wait!”
She pauses at the edge of the parking lot.
“I need to go,” she says.
“So you’re just going to walk out of his life? Again? Without any explanations?”
She crosses her arms. “Is that what you think? That I’m abandoning him?”
“You’ve done it before.”
She only looks stunned for a moment before the anger flashes in her eyes.
“Ah, I see,” she says. “I get it now. You blame me for all of this.” She gestures back at the apartment. “You think I’m responsible for the way things are with me and Calder.”
“You’re the one who took off to the other side of the world. You’re the one who left him to deal with your father’s death all alone.”
I regret the words immediately. Lou looks like she’s going to punch me.
“He was my father, too,” she says. “Did you forget that part? People deal with shit in different ways.” She turns to go, then thinks better of it and swings back to face me again. “And for your information, Calder sent me away after the funeral. He didn’t want me here. Ask him.”
I blink at her.
“Guess you didn’t know him as well as you thought, huh?” she says.
She turns and storms across the parking lot, leaving me staring stunned after her.
He didn’t want me here. Does she really mean that? Does she really think that?
A car door slams. I race across the parking lot, but she cranks the engine before I’m even halfway to her car.
“Lou!” I yell. “Lou! You can’t leave like this!”
She ignores me. Her tires squeal as she tears out of the parking lot, and I’m left standing barefoot and panting in a cloud of exhaust.
“Dammit,” I say, curling my hands into fists. “Dammit!” She’s gone, and I could’ve stopped her. I should have tackled her to the ground and dragged her back up to the apartment by her curly ponytail.
But it’s too late now.
I cross my arms over my chest. It’s a balmy night, but I still feel cold. I shouldn’t have said those things to her. I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved. Now I’ve made everything worse. Lou is gone—without a word to Calder—and probably hates me for good measure. I’ve pushed the only family Calder has left even further away. If there was ever any hope for the two of them… well, I’ve just made things a whole lot more complicated.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Her last words to me echo in my brain: He didn’t want me here. Ask him.
It’s with heavy feet that I trudge back up the stairs. I know I’m not responsible for whatever Lou is up to, but I also know that as long as I’m dating Calder, my relationship with her affects him too. It’s not like she’s going to be showing up for holiday dinners at our place after our last conversation.
Guess you didn’t know him as well as you thought, huh?
She’s wrong, of course. I know him plenty well. But that doesn’t mean her words don’t tear into me like shards of ice.
I’m going to have to tell Calder. I have to confess that I couldn’t keep my fat nose out of his family’s business and that I’ve probably driven his sister even further away. My stomach sinks more and more with every step, and by the time I reach the door I feel like I’m going to be sick.
And when I try to twist the knob, it only gets worse.
The door’s locked.
When I ran after Lou, I didn’t think to grab a key. I didn’t even consider the possibility that the door would lock automatically behind me.
Well, fuck.
I have two options: master the art of lock-picking in the next hour or so, or knock on the door until Calder answers. And as I don’t have any bobby pins on hand—just the bottle of wine, still clutched by the neck in my left hand—my options are looking a little limited.
And so, for the second time tonight, our door gets a solid pounding.
It takes several minutes for Calder to answer. When he does, he looks groggy and thoroughly confused. I’ve always thought he’s at his sexiest in the moments just after he’s woken up—his hair deliciously rumpled, his eyes half lidded, his boxers slightly askew—but I’m too worried to appreciate it right now.
Calder glances to either side of me. “What’s going on? How did you get out here?”
I might as well just spit it out. “Lou’s gone.”
“What?”
“She’s gone. I don’t know where.”
Calder’s suddenly wide awake. “What happened? How did you end up out here?” He pulls me into the apartment and shuts the door again behind me. “What did she say?”
“I—I don’t…” Grow a backbone, Lily. No point in tiptoeing around it. “I couldn’t sleep, so I went into the kitchen for a little wine. I caught Lou sneaking out, but she wouldn’t tell me where she was going.” I watch Calder’s face as I speak. He tries to hide it, but I catch the shock, the confusion, the hurt.
“Calder, I…” I reach for him, but he jerks away. His emotions aren’t directed at me, I know, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. I must betray something in my face, though, because his eyes soften and he touches me gently on the arm.
“So you… ran after her?” he prompts.
I still feel sick about the whole thing—still wonder if I’m better leaving well enough alone—but if there’s ever a time to tell him about what I heard, it’s now. “I overheard her earlier, talking on the phone. Something about a fake ID and fooling a hiring manager… I don’t know. It might be nothing, but it sounded shady. Not that I’m accusing her of—I mean, I don’t think—I don’t know…” I realize I’m rambling, so I stop.
Calder’s brows are drawn together. I know that look. I hate that look.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “I shouldn’t have eavesdropped. I shouldn’t have interfered at all. It’s not my place. I wasn’t trying to get in the middle of everything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
His eyes are dark, his mouth drawn into a straight line. But he’s shaking his head.
“Why are you apologizing?” he asks. “This isn’t your fault.” He draws me close to him, but his body is still rigid. As much as he’s trying to hide it, he’s upset by what I’ve just said. And even though I know it’s not my actions that elicited this reaction, it pains me to be the messenger.