Jesse’s eyebrows lifted. “How often is often?”
“Mmm . . . well, if he doesn’t care about staying sane or disobeying an alpha . . . maybe once a week?”
“That’s good,” Jesse said, nodding. “That means we’ve at least got a little time to find him. In another day or two, if we haven’t stopped him, we should start staking out Will’s house, in case he goes there again. What else?”
“Aside from the fact that they get into fights pretty often, I don’t know a ton about how they interact with each other,” I admitted. “You have to remember, most of my knowledge comes from Olivia, and I don’t even really know if anything she said is true.” My psychotic ex-mentor had been the one to bring me into the Old World, and she’d gotten off on only doling out snippets of information as she felt I needed them. They were the bread crumbs, and I was the eager, hungry pigeon.
When Olivia had died of cancer, I suppose I could have started asking questions, but for a long time after her death I was just kind of going through the motions of my life. I went running, watched television, hung out with Molly, and waited for a phone call to go clean up blood splatter or animal carcasses. My three co-bosses mostly ignored me, and I mostly ignored anything that didn’t come with opening credits and a catchy theme song. I had no interest in trying to be better at what I did.
Or trying to be better, period.
“We need more information,” Jesse declared.
“We need a werewolf expert,” I said aloud, then immediately wished I’d kept the words to myself.
“Will?” Jesse offered.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s trying to hold the pack together, and after last night’s insurrection it’s worse than ever. Besides, he’s shorthanded at the bar too.” Thanks to me. I sighed. “We need someone who knows werewolves but isn’t part of the pack.”
Jesse met my eyes, understanding blooming on his face. “You want to go see Eli,” he said softly.
I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to drag him back into all this, but I don’t know who else to ask. Even if the actual killer isn’t part of Will’s pack, one of the pack members could be involved. Will and Eli are the only pack members that I trust.” Now that Caroline is dead, I thought. I had missed Caroline’s memorial service while I was unconscious, and sometimes I still had the impulse to give my friend a call, just to talk to someone. But Olivia had killed her. She had parents and a couple of sisters in Albuquerque, I knew, but Will would have disposed of her body. They might not even know she was dead. I felt a rush of sorrow at that thought.
“Scarlett?” Jesse said, and I realized he’d been talking to me.
“Sorry, what?”
“I said, it’s ten o’clock. Should we go see Eli now, or wait until the morning?”
I bit my lip. “Jesse, listen . . . I know you’re the cop, and you have questions. But I need to talk to Eli alone. At least at first.” Something unreadable flashed across Jesse’s handsome face. I thought it was maybe disappointment, but he didn’t say anything. “I haven’t talked to him since I changed him back,” I explained.
Jesse held my eyes for an interminably long moment, and I swear I could feel a connection vibrate between us like the thrum of a guitar string. “Your thing with Eli,” he said quietly. “Where does it leave us?”
And there it was. Before I had changed Eli and gotten hurt, Jesse and I had shared a moment. We had kissed. We had connected. It was a little too late to tell myself that I didn’t feel anything for him, or that I wasn’t good enough for him. So I opened my mouth to unleash a smart-ass remark—but I had nothing. I blinked a few times, opening and closing my mouth like a fish.
Sometimes I am so smooth it hurts.
Jesse just let me flounder. Finally I said, honestly, “Confused.”
He nodded to himself as though that was exactly what he’d been expecting. “Eli seems like a good guy,” he stated neutrally. “And he’s a human now too.”
I could not think of a thing to say. Not one thing. “It’d be easier if he was a giant douchebag,” Jesse added, a little ruefully.
“That was how I felt about Runa,” I reminded him gently. Jesse had dated a police photographer named Runa Vore for a month or so before he learned that she was a witch who’d been sent to spy on him. Sometimes I wondered if he missed her. Runa was aesthetically perfect, and I had been just the teeniest bit gleeful when she had turned out to be duplicitous—but she’d also helped Jesse save my life. Even with the ulterior motive, I couldn’t help but like her a little.
One thing I’ll say for Eli: he was a lot less complicated.
There wasn’t a whole lot more for Jesse and me to discuss after that. We both knew I had to make a choice. He asked me to call him the next day after I’d spoken to Eli, promised to start researching the victim, and said good-bye. I lay back on my bed, not the least bit tired thanks to my six-hour nap, and thought.
Five short months ago, before I’d even met Jesse, I’d been right in the middle of not allowing myself to fall in love with Eli, despite the fact that we kept falling into bed together. I’d had good reasons, though: for one thing, I’d been convinced that he only wanted to be around me so he could be human again. I’d also been convinced that I wasn’t fit to be with anybody after what had happened to me with Olivia and my parents. Okay, fine. I’d thought I didn’t deserve to be with anybody after what had happened with Olivia and my parents.