“I don’t even remember how to anymore,” she said.
“Well…how do you feel about it?”
“How do I feel?”
“Are you mad? Relieved? Sad?”
Her head slowly moved from side to side, and then her eyes glossed over. “I got no one. It’s hard to feel anything when there’s no one to notice.”
“I noticed.”
She stood but kept her eyes on the floor. “If you came here to make me feel guilty—”
I shook my head, also standing. “No. I didn’t. I came here to…it wasn’t fair—how Harry left you all alone when you were young and pregnant or how they treated you.”
She snarled her lip. “I’ll be damned if he didn’t end up spending time with his own kid, and that bitch opened the door wide open for her. The irony of all of this is the best part.” The smug grin on her face melted away, and she finally looked up at me. “Not for you. I saw your new car. They’re busy making up for the years you got stuck with me, huh?”
“Making up for lost time.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to lie to me. I know what I’ve done.”
“No one has clean hands. We’ve all made mistakes. But I just wanted you to know that I know, that they know. Everyone knows, but not everyone blames you, Gina. You’re not the villain in this story.”
“I ain’t exactly the victim either.”
“Then, stop acting like it.”
She craned her neck at me, but then her thoughts were turned inward, her eyes losing focus.
“We’ve both got a clean slate now. I just thought you should know.”
Gina’s lips made a hard line, guilt softening the wrinkles around her eyes. “I shoulda known you weren’t my daughter. But if the accident hadn’t ever happened, I would definitely know now. You comin’ here to say all this after the way I’ve been to you? You’re all Julianne. You’ve always been better ’an me, better ’an this filth.” Her eyes crawled up the walls to the water stains on the ceiling, and then she looked back to me. “You look pretty.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Do you want to ride with me? I’ll buy you a carton of cigarettes.”
She shook her head. “Nah. I need to quit anyway. I need to quit a lot of things. Clean slate, right?”
I offered a small smile. “Right.”
I hadn’t tried to hug Gina since I was a girl, and I didn’t suspect she’d be open to it now either, so I walked to my car without looking back. With each step, I left behind any rejection or blame that had piled up over the years.
Parked behind the BMW was Weston’s red Chevy, and he was leaning against my door with his arms folded across his chest.
“You okay?” he asked, opening his arms. They were glistening, wet from the rain, along with his clothes and the parts of his hair poking out from his ball cap.
I sank into him, closing my eyes, and his grip tightened, his fingers pressing gently into the small of my back.
“I’m good,” I said, surprised that it was true.
“Yeah?”
I looked up at him. “Yeah. How did you…”
He shrugged. “Julianne might have told me where you were going.”
I grinned. “C’mon, I’ll follow you home.”
I pressed the unlock button on my remote, and he opened the driver’s door, pecking my cheek before I sat in the seat. He shut the door, and in the side mirror, I watched him jog back to his truck.
My car seemed to breathe every time the wipers swished across the windshield, clearing away the tiny splashes of water the sky was spitting down on Blackwell. The wet brakes groaned as I slowly pulled into the drive, simultaneously reaching for the visor to press the garage door button. As soon as the rear tires passed the threshold, the rapid tapping of the large raindrops silenced.
Weston parked behind my car and left the engine running. He slammed his door and jogged to stand next to me. He took off his ball cap and shook out his hair.
I held up my hands and giggled. “You’re supposed to be resting.”
“You’re supposed to be studying.”
“I learned a few things,” I said, intertwining my fingers behind his neck.
“What was that anyway? Closure?”
“Sort of.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. Some people need at least one person to be nice to them—even if it’s just once.”
“She wasn’t nice to you.”
“I didn’t need her to be.”
He put his hands in his pockets. “Even when you thought she was your mom?”
“I’ve told you, I never felt like she was my mom. I can’t explain it. I just knew. And I think she knew, too.”
“Doesn’t excuse the way she raised you.”
For the first time, I saw the anger Weston had for Gina flash in his eyes. He took it personally. Weston had loved me from afar while I had been ignored in my own home. It had been harder for him to watch than it had been for me to endure.
“You’re right. It’s no excuse. But I can’t keep living in that house, Weston. It’s time to pack up all that anger and misunderstanding and say good-bye.”
“So, that’s it? You’re just over it?”
“I don’t want to hang on to it. You shouldn’t either.”
“You shouldn’t forgive so easily.” He frowned. “Me, most of all.”
“For what?” I asked.
“For letting you go so long without knowing you were loved.”
The door leading inside the house opened. Sam and Julianne stood there, wearing robes and worried expressions.
“She’s home safe. It’s all good,” Weston called to them.
Sam waved. “You get home safe, too.”
“Will do,” he said, throwing two fingers and a thumb in the air. “Good night,” he whispered in my ear. “If I’m lucky, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’re lucky,” I said.
“Yes, ma’am, I am.” He leaned down for a kiss entirely too intimate for Sam and Julianne to witness, and then he walked back out into the rain. He climbed into his truck, backed out of the drive, and then disappeared around the corner. The Gates’ house was so close that I could hear his engine muffle and then turn off after he’d parked in the garage.