“I don’t mind.”
I glanced over at him. His transformation from angry, volatile boss to gentle, content neighbor—possibly more—had been gradual, so I hadn’t noticed until we were side by side, the morning sun highlighting the calm in his eyes. We rode the rest of the way to the Bureau in comfortable silence.
The next time Thomas spoke was to the guard at the security gate.
“Agent Maddox,” Agent Trevino said, taking our badges. He leaned down to identify me and smirked.
“Hi, Mig,” Thomas said. “How’s the family?”
“All fine. Nice of you to drive Agent Lindy to work this morning.”
Thomas took back his badge. “We live in the same building.”
“Mmhmm,” Trevino said, sitting back before pressing the button to open the gate.
Thomas drove through and chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Trevino,” Thomas said, resting his elbow on the bottom of the window and touching his lips with his fingers.
I frowned. Anytime anything came into contact with his lips, a mixture of depression and jealousy swirled inside me. It was an awful feeling, and I wondered when it would stop. “Am I a running joke?”
Thomas looked over at me and switched his driving hand. Then, my hand was in his, and he squeezed.
“No. Why would you think that?”
“What is so amusing?”
Thomas pulled into the parking garage and put the gear into park. He turned back the key, and the engine silenced. “Me. He’s laughing at me. I don’t bring people to work. I don’t smile when I check in, and I damn sure don’t ask him about his family. He knows it’s…he knows. Things have been different since you came here.”
“Why is that?” I stared at him, my eyes begging him to say the words.
Admittedly, I was too proud and stubborn to break my vow to the Bureau without insurance. Coffee, odd jobs around my condo, even his hand in mine weren’t enough. I was okay with being second to his job. When we were both committed to the Bureau, it somehow canceled the other out. But I wouldn’t come in third.
His cell phone rang, and when he noticed the name on the display, his entire demeanor changed. His eyebrows pulled in, and he sighed.
“Hey,” Thomas said, his face tight. He let go of my hand and looked away. “I told you I would. I, uh…” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. “I can’t. My flight doesn’t land until an hour prior to Trav’s arrival at the hotel. Okay…tell me what?”
Thomas looked down, and his shoulders sagged. “You are? That’s great,” he said, failing to cover the devastation in his voice. “Uh, no, I understand. No, Trent, I get it. It’s okay. Yeah, I’m happy for you. I am. Okay. All right. See you then.”
Thomas pressed End and then let the phone fall to his lap. He held the steering wheel with both hands, his grip twisting so hard that his knuckles turned white.
“Want to talk about it?”
He shook his head.
“Okay. Well…I’ll be in my office if you change your mind.”
Just as I reached for the lever, Thomas grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to him, his amazingly soft lips melting against mine. Everything around us blurred, and I was transported back to the night we’d met—the desperate hands, his tongue deep in my mouth, his blazing hot sweaty skin against mine.
When he finally let me go, I grieved. Even though it had been my lips against his, when we’d parted, I was still left with that awful feeling.
“Damn it, Liis. I’m sorry,” he said, looking just as shocked as I was.
I was breathing slow but deep, still leaned in a bit.
“I know you don’t want a relationship,” he said, angry with himself. “But I’ll be goddamned if I can’t stay away from you.”
“I can relate,” I said, smoothing my hair away from my face. “Trent?” I asked, nodding to his cell phone.
He looked down and then back at me. “Yeah.”
“What did he say that upset you?”
Thomas hesitated, clearly not wanting to answer. “He was talking to me about Travis’s bachelor party.”
“And?”
“He’s the entertainment.”
“So?”
Thomas shifted nervously. “He, uh…has a deal with Camille.” He shook his head. “A while back, she agreed to marry him if he did something crazy and embarrassing. He’s going to do it at Trav’s party, and then he’s…” His eyes fell. He looked heartbroken. “He’s going to ask Camille to marry him.”
“Your ex.”
He nodded slowly.
“The one you’re still in love with. And then you kiss me to stop thinking about it?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. It was a shit thing to do.”
My first reaction was to be angry. But how could I be angry when kissing him was all I’d thought about since we met? And how could I be jealous? The woman he loved would very soon be engaged, and he’d practically just given his blessing. All of that logic did me no good. I was envious of a woman I’d never met and who would never be with Thomas. I couldn’t be mad at him, but I was furious with myself.
I pulled at the lever. “Squad Five is meeting at three.”
“Liis,” he called after me.
I walked away as fast as my heels would allow, all the way to the elevator.
The doors closed behind me, and I stood in silence as the numbers climbed. People got on and off—agents, assistants, city leaders—all speaking in hushed tones, if they spoke at all.
When the doors opened on the seventh floor, I stepped out and tried to hurry past Marks’s office. He was always early, and Val was usually in his office, chatting. I snuck by his open door, hearing Val’s voice, and quickly slipped through the security doors. I walked around the corner of the first cubicle, passed another two, and then ducked into my office, closing the door.
I sat in my throne and turned my back to the wall of windows, and I stared at my bookshelf and the view of the city below. I heard a knock but ignored it, and then someone put a file in the holder on my door, leaving me alone. I let the high back of the chair conceal me from the squad room, and I twisted the long black strands of my hair around my finger, thinking about the kiss, the night before, and every time I’d been alone with Thomas since I met him.