Reaching out, I squeezed her arm. “Don’t do this, Jordan. Of all the people I know, you are the least needy.”
She turned back to face me wearing an expression filled with pain. “Then maybe that’s it. Maybe I didn’t need him enough. Was I supposed to tell him I missed him and couldn’t wait until he came back all the time? That’s just not me. I missed him and told him that, but I wanted him to know he had space to do what he needed to.”
“What did he say when you talked to him the last time?”
“He was acting weird. I heard it in his voice. He sounded distant, but I didn’t want to think it was anything. I knew something was wrong when he picked a fight with me. All I did was ask how things were going and when filming would be done, and he blew up at me.”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘I can’t say, Jordan. Maybe we should just play it by ear, and when I get back to New York, we can get together and talk. I don’t really have time for this right now.’ You know me. I wasn’t going to let it go at that. I said that I thought we were more than just phone pals who may or may not talk when he returned, and then it just escalated from there.”
That Gage would say he didn’t have time for her didn’t sound like him at all. What the hell was going on with him? I didn’t want to say it, but my mind immediately went to the idea of him getting together with his ex-girlfriend and then feeling guilty. Trying to sound sympathetic, I said, “It doesn’t sound like it’s totally over, though. Maybe he was just having a bad day.”
She shook her head and frowned. “No. When I told him that I thought he was acting strangely, that all of this seemed so sudden, he accused me of not trusting him. Before I could say anything, he said this wasn’t working for him and hung up.”
“Oh.” That definitely didn’t sound like the Gage I knew. And it didn’t sound good.
“Yeah, oh. So your single friend Jordan continues to be single. Forever, it seems.”
I sat up and shook my head. “That’s nonsense. If you want to not be single, there are millions of men who would bow down at your feet to help you with that. Don’t let this one get to you.”
Jordan nodded her agreement, but I knew she didn’t think that way. Love just always seemed to elude her, even though I couldn’t imagine another person deserving it more.
“I just don’t know, Nina. I thought Gage could have been the one. We had a good time once we finally got to know one another. It felt right. He wasn’t some asshole who expected me to play dumb to make him feel like a man or some guy who just played around. I just don’t know what happened. That’s the worst part. One day we were okay, and then the next day we’re done.”
“I know it’s hard to believe now, but he’s not the only guy out there. You’re the greatest person I know, Jordan. I mean that. You’re smart and funny, and you have a heart like no one else.”
Wiping a tear from her eye, she said quietly, “Then why is it everyone else has found someone but me? You know what I want? I want what you have. Not the money or all that, but someone like Tristan. He’s so crazy in love with you. I want that. I want a guy who calls my friends like he did when he called me that night you left for Italy. I heard something in his voice then that I’ve never heard in any man I’ve ever been with.”
I tried to lighten the mood a little. “It was probably utter frustration with me. I was such a fool for doing that.”
“No, it wasn’t that. It was…” She stopped and thought for a moment, and then she got an intense look in her eyes like she was searching for something. “You should have heard him, Nina. It was like he’d lost part of himself, like he’d lost something so dear to him he couldn’t go on unless he found it. I want that.”
Instantly, I missed Tristan more than I had since Jordan came to visit. He’d be home in a little over a day, but at that moment, I wanted to feel his arms around me as we lay in bed and I talked his ear off about something or another while he just smiled at me, all the time quietly listening.
“You’re lucky, Nina. Tristan would protect you with his life. You mean as much to him as he means to you. That’s the real thing. I want that.”
“You’ll get that. You will. Just because it wasn’t Gage doesn’t mean it’s not out there for you, but I’m not convinced it’s totally over with him either.”
Sadly, she said, “I wish it wasn’t.”
I took her hand in mine. “Remember what you always say—good things happen to good people.”
“I want to believe that. I do believe that. I just don’t know why when everyone else around me is finding love, I’m still the same old single Jordan.”
“When it happens, you’ll see that it couldn’t have happened at any other time. Then it will be everything you deserve.”
As the tears rolled down her cheeks, Jordan smiled. “Is this what happens with pregnancy? You get all philosophical?”
I stuck my pregnant belly out and with a chuckle said, “I’m doing my best mom work here. How’s it sound?”
Jordan wiped her eyes and sniffled. “It sounds like my nieces are going to have a great mom.”
“Speaking of the babies, you need to help me figure out something other than ducks to decorate the nursery. It has to be unisex, so any ideas?”
“Why unisex? Aren’t you finding out the sex of the babies before they’re born?”
“No. Tristan and I decided to leave that a mystery until that day.”
“New age hippies,” she said with a laugh. “Well, if the unisexual ducks aren’t good, we’ll have to come up with something else.”
“You up to checking out some nursery designs? I’d like to get going on this soon. I only have a few more months, and that’s assuming they don’t come early. Twins often do, so I may not make it to full term.”
She swung her legs off the bed and reached out to take my hand. “Lead the way. Those ducks have met their match.”
Her words were still tinged with sadness, but I hoped that sometime soon she’d see that even though Gage and she broke up, love was still out there for her as long as she believed it was.
Jordan and I spent hours searching for ideas for the nursery, and we were shocked at how much grey was popular in unisex nursery design. Grey and white, grey and yellow, grey and green—it all looked like some depressing winter palette had taken over the baby world.
Clicking on a page that claimed to be the Latest in Nursery Design, I saw more grey. I turned to Jordan sitting next to me at the dining room table and said with disappointment, “Why are all these babies’ rooms designed to look like January in the northeast? I think I’d grow up depressed if I had my first months in a room like this.”
“You can’t put my nieces in a room like this, Nina,” she said as she pointed at the grey and mustard yellow design on my laptop’s screen. “Damnit, you can’t even put my nephews in that room. I think the Puritans had more colorful nursery ideas.”
Everything was so washed out. I wanted a nursery with flair, and all I saw page after page was blah. I clicked on another link and saw a jungle themed room. Tristan might not be crazy about green, but this design was cute. I could imagine our children in their cribs surrounded by monkeys, giraffes, and elephants all frolicking in their jungle habitat.
“What do you think of this one?” I asked as Jordan leaned in to check it out. “The room could be painted white with a dash of vibrant greens and yellows.”
“It’s sure as hell better than that washed out stuff we’ve seen for hours. I say go with this one. At least it won’t lead to your kids being depressed.”
“It’s settled then. Jungle it is. As soon as Tristan gets home, I’ll show him and convince him that jungle is a good look for the nursery. We’re going to have to go shopping for baby furniture too. I doubt he’ll want to do that with me, so I hope you’re up to it.”
“You know me. I’m always up for shopping. We’ll make a day of it and do lunch too.”
Jordan seemed more upbeat than she’d been since she arrived. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that just touring a tiny toy museum had worn me out, so a day of shopping probably wasn’t going to happen. Instead, I just nodded and listened as she happily planned our day out, pleased she was focused on something other than the breakup with Gage.
* * *
“Nina, this business here is much more involved than I thought it would be, so I’m not going to get home tonight like I planned.”
Tristan’s news right after I woke up the next morning started my day off pretty badly, but I understood. It didn’t mean I was happy about it, though. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I asked, “When do you think you’ll be home? We have a doctor’s appointment soon.”
“That’s not until right before Halloween, so I’m sure I’ll be home by then. That’s nearly three weeks from now. I’m hoping to be back by next week.”
“Oh. Okay. Jordan’s here with me, so I have company. We picked out a nursery design. I’d hoped to show it to you since we have to go shopping for furniture soon. I want to get that done and completed before I get too far along.”