Tears filled my eyes again. Why was this happening? “What is this, mom? Why am I here? Am I dead?”
She reached out to touch me, caressing my cheek with her palm. I felt it as sure as I felt my own hand cover hers, so I knew she wasn’t a dream. Whatever this was, it was real.
“So many questions. Always so many questions with my Nina. Give me a few minutes and all your questions will be answered.”
Holding out her hand, she nodded, and I had the surest sense I needed to follow her. I placed my hand in hers, and she led me down the stone path toward the end of our yard. There was no fear, no dread. Just love like I’d only felt with one other.
Tristan. Oh, God! Where was he? Turning to face my mother, I pleaded with her for answers. “Is Tristan here? Where are the girls? I can’t leave them there. I need to get to them. Can you help me?”
She shook her head, and a tiny frown turned down her lips. “He’s not here, Nina.”
Tears filled my eyes, making my vision blurry. As they rolled down over my cheeks, I sobbed, “I have two little girls who need me. Why am I here? Mom, tell me how to get back to them.”
“Your daughters are beautiful. Your children are all beautiful, Nina. Tristan is taking care of them now. Not to worry.”
“I want to go back. Please tell me how to get back to them.”
My mother cupped my cheeks in her hands. “We all get only a small amount of time with those we love, honey. Sometimes it’s less than we planned, but hopefully, we’ve been there long enough to have them remember us.”
My heart ached at the sound of her words. “How will my girls remember me, Mom? They never even got to meet me. I was taken from them right after they were born.”
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. Don’t cry.”
I turned my head, searching for a way out of this place. For as far as my eyes could see, there was just grass and my childhood backyard. “How can I get back to them? I need to be back with them!”
She gently pulled me back to face her. “I’m so proud of you, Nina. You’re everything I always knew you’d be. I didn’t get enough time with you, and for that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for your art classes so you knew how talented I thought you were. I’m sorry I missed your graduation from college and your first day of work at the gallery.”
“I always wanted you there, but I know why you weren’t. I don’t blame you for leaving.”
“And now you’re all grown up with a husband and children of your own. Your life is everything I always hoped it would be.”
Her words eased my mind, and I remembered how she knew Tristan’s mother when she was young. “My husband is the son of Tressa, the girl you knew in college who got you and Daddy together. I never met her, but I think he’s like her—kind and caring.”
My mother smiled warmly, as if what I’d said caused a long forgotten memory to reappear. “We always said how wonderful it would be to be related to one another, the sisters neither of us ever had.”
I stood watching her for a moment, loving how wonderful just being next to her made me feel. But I couldn’t stay there with her. I had to get back to Tristan and the babies.
Squeezing her hands, I begged, “I need to get back to my family, Mom. Tell me I can get back. I don’t belong here yet. Tristan and the girls need me.”
“And you need them, Nina. But promise me something before you go.”
“Anything.”
“Remember that at any time everything you love can be taken from you, and then all you can do is watch from afar as they continue to live after you’re gone. Promise me you’ll live with no regrets.”
“I promise. I miss you so much, Mom. All those times I wished you were there so I could talk to you.”
My mother kissed my cheek and whispered, “I was there, honey. Every time you doubted yourself, I was that tiny voice in your head saying you were brave enough. Every time you asked for a sign, I was there to give you one. I’ll always be there.”
Before my eyes, the light began to fade away, taking my mother with it. I reached out to hold on to her for a moment longer, sad I was losing her from my life after such a short time again. As she slipped from my touch, I watched as she blew me a kiss like she always did when she said goodbye to me as a little girl.
“I wish you could see the babies, Mom.”
As she faded into nothingness, I heard her whisper in my head, “Thank you for making Tressa and me sisters this time, but I have no advice for him. Tressa would know about that. I love you, honey. Take care, and know that I’m always there.”
And then she was gone and I was floating in a sea of darkness.
“Baby, wake up. Wake up and look at me.”
I heard Tristan’s voice pleading for me to wake up, but why? Was something wrong? Slowly, my eyelids fluttered open, and I saw his face just inches from mine. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out between my parched lips. What was going on?
“Nina! God, honey, I’m so happy to see your beautiful eyes open. Hang on, let me get the nurse.”
Tristan moved to leave, and I saw I wasn’t in our bedroom. Where was I? I grabbed his wrist, afraid to be left alone in this strange place, and tried to speak again, but failed.
He sat back down in the chair next to me and cradled my face in his hands. “It’s okay. I just want to let the nurse know you’re awake. I won’t leave, though. I’m right here.”
“Tris…” I tried to say his name, but my throat felt bone dry.
“Don’t speak. Let me get you a drink of water.” He poured a glass for me and raised it to my lips. “Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.”
Never before had water tasted so incredible. It felt like I hadn’t had an ounce of moisture pass my lips in ages. What was going on?
“Does that feel better?” Tristan asked, his voice full of concern.
I nodded and looked around at the room I was in. Boring cream colored walls with some kind of brown and pink wallpaper border near the ceiling surrounded me. Looking down at the twin bed with its institutional footboard, I had my answer. I was in a hospital.
But why?
“Tristan,” I croaked out. “Why am I here?”
He smoothed my hair off my face and smiled down at me. “You don’t remember? Do you remember anything?”
I saw in his eyes the fear that I’d forgotten everything again, like before, but I knew who he was and who I was. I just didn’t know why I’d need to be in a hospital. I slowly shook my head. “No. What happened? How long have I been here?”
He pretended to smile, but I saw the disappointment all over his face. “Almost eighteen hours. I’ve been here the whole time waiting for you to wake up.”
Then it hit me what had happened. Like a flood of memories, it all came back to me. I pushed myself up to sit and clutched at his hand. “The babies! What happened to them? Where are they? Tristan, where are the girls?”
“Nina, it’s okay. They’re here with us in the hospital. I’ve seen them…”
“I remember everything. I saw my mother. She was in our backyard. Well, not our backyard, but my backyard from when I was a kid. She told me she was always there with me. She knew about the girls too. Oh, Tristan! It was so wonderful to see her again.”
“Nina, I have something to tell you, so I need you to lay back down, okay?”
Shaking my head, I moved my legs to get out of bed. “No, I don’t want to stay here. I want to see Diana and Tressa. Where are they?”
Tristan stood up and gently held me in place so I couldn’t move. “I need to talk to you before you see the babies. They’re tiny, Nina. The doctor said it’s not surprising since they came so early, but that’s not all.”
My emotions became all jumbled. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream, “Let me go see them!” I saw in his face something had happened, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I remembered the blood running down my leg at the penthouse. Something bad had happened to the babies, and now he had the job of telling me. Tears welled in my eyes, and I shook my head, not wanting to know. “No, no! Don’t tell me something happened to them. Please don’t say that!”
Holding his phone up in front of me, he showed me a picture of the first baby. “That’s Diana. She’s the littlest one. The doctor says she needs help breathing, but that happens to preemies a lot.”
I stared at the tiny being with a head full of dark hair in the picture with all those wires and tubes attached to her. She couldn’t have been bigger than one of my shoes. “How big is she?”
“She’s a little over two pounds, honey, and she’s beautiful, just like her mother.”
With terror in my heart at what his answer would be, I asked, “What about Tressa? Do you have any pictures of her?”
He scrolled to the next picture on his phone and held it up in front of me. “Meet your daughter Tressa. A little bigger than Diana at about two and a half pounds, she’s tougher and look at all that hair. The doctor thinks she’ll be fine too, though.”
Tressa looked stronger, even though she was hooked up to a machine too, and I imagined she was the baby who’d been doing all the kicking. Not afraid anymore, I took a deep breath, but I remembered Tristan leaving as the girls were born. Something had happened. Turning to look at him as he scrolled through to the next picture on his phone, I asked, “What happened during my C-section? Why did they take you out?”