“Did you hear me?” he bellowed, leaning his face down in front of mine, so close I saw the gold flecks in his brown eyes as they flashed his anger at me.
“Victor, don’t do this to him. His friend is dead. He needs time to mourn her. You can talk about the rest of it later.”
I looked at my mother as she spoke to defend me, knowing I didn’t deserve her kindness. My father stormed out, leaving her alone with me. I didn’t deserve that either.
Cradling my face in her hands, she smiled that gentle smile she always gave when she thought I needed saving. “Tristan, I don’t know how to reach you. What is it that makes you like this?”
What she meant by ‘like this’ was a mystery to me. Like what? Any normal American twenty-two year old male? Every other person my age I knew? But I understood my role in this drama and acted accordingly. “I don’t know.”
“Honey, if you have a problem, we can get you help. There are places where you can get help.”
I couldn’t give her the answer I knew she needed to hear. She needed me to say I’d accept her help and stop living my life. I couldn’t tell her that, so I just nodded, letting her think she’d saved me, at least for now. My father was right, but I didn’t care. Someday, my mother would realize that too.
I shook my head to push away the memory of that Tristan. That me had been selfish and careless, thinking I was the only one whose wants and needs mattered. God, I couldn’t help but cringe at who I’d been all those years ago.
Now all those terrible acts had finally caught up with me, as I always knew they would. The problem was that now when the most important part of my life was torn from me because of what I did, all I could do was hope that when I caught up with Nina that she’d see that Tristan didn’t exist anymore.
I checked my phone for any message or text from Nina. Nothing. Where was she? Was she alone? Images of West or worse, Karl, holding her marched through my mind. No! I couldn’t believe that. She was safe. She had to be.
My fingers tapped out a message I prayed to God she saw. I know what Kim told you, but I swear she’s wrong. Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you. Don’t do this. Don’t let everything we have mean nothing.
After ten minutes, I knew she wouldn’t be answering my text. I didn’t expect a few words to fix everything. The damage my past had inflicted on us would require far more than that. I didn’t expect anything, in fact. Nina had accepted all my demons, even if she’d done so unknowingly at times, but I’d made the biggest mistake of my life by not coming clean just days before as she and I lay in bed that morning for the first time in months. She’d practically begged me to tell her everything, and I hadn’t. I didn’t know why. Maybe I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to tell the woman I loved that I was a thoughtless, callous dick to someone who only wanted love from me, and my carelessness with her had led to her death.
Before I put the car in gear, I tried one more time, hoping at the very least she was receiving my messages and at best she was reading them. I know I promised to tell you everything, but sometimes a man wants to have the woman he loves see him as more than he actually is. I wasn’t trying to hide what happened then. Please believe me.
I got no response.
Daryl and Varo were waiting for me outside the house when I pulled up, their faces telling the story I didn’t want to know. Stepping out of the car, I asked, “Nothing? You’ve got no clue where she is?”
“Nothing yet,” Daryl said nonchalantly as he tugged on his beard, betraying how worried he really was. “What took you so long? I figured you’d be driving at the speed of light.”
Varo said nothing, but I could tell he had something on his mind. “You seem to want to say something. Speak up,” I ordered.
“I think you might have been right about West. I’ve been thinking about how he acted today at lunch. He was angry about having lunch with Nina and Jordan. She was playing matchmaker, so I figured he was annoyed about that, but now that he’s vanished, maybe it was more.”
Daryl spoke up before I could. “What do you mean more? Did he have something against Nina?”
Shaking his head, Varo frowned. “Not so much something against her but something’s been bothering him for weeks. I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s different.”
“Something’s bothering him? Something’s different? What the fuck does that mean? Are you saying he wants to hurt Nina?” I bellowed as fear tore through my body. West may have been the older of the two bodyguards, but she was no match against him. He could subdue her in seconds and she’d be gone.