Fisting himself, he angled upright and slowly lowered me down.
I couldn’t fight.
I couldn’t speak.
I couldn’t breathe.
All I could do was fall forward into his embrace as my body—so well trained from years of abuse—welcomed his thick length effortlessly. There was no obstruction. No denial. The wetness only made his entry smooth rather than agonising.
My teeth clamped on his shoulder, biting as hard as I could as the tip of him nudged the tip of me and whatever lock I’d kept fastened exploded.
With a feral growl, he smashed me into pieces, tore down my defensives, and left Pimlico gaping and bleeding while Tasmin stood over her in newfound power.
The battlefield of my mind quieted as Elder thrust into me victoriously.
He grunted with primal satisfaction then thrust again, filling me so, so deep. “Christ, Pim.”
I’d never been so stretched; never been so utterly devoured.
And then the tears began.
Deep, endless black tears.
Tears turned to sobs, sobs turned to body shakes, and finally, I got through to Elder in his sex haze.
He instantly stiffened, holding me away from him to look at my face. His cock twitched inside me as disgusted hatred coated his features. “Ah, fuck.” Crushing me to him in a hug, he kissed the top of my head as if I was a little girl who’d had a nightmare. “Christ, what have I done?”
The contradiction of such comfort was negated every time his body jerked inside mine.
“Shit, Pim, I’m sorry. I…I—shit.”
Gritting his teeth, he pulled me away from him, his legs gathering to push me off.
I couldn’t bear to be tossed away after he’d stolen everything. I needed something to clutch while I became completely undone. Throwing myself forward, I gulped and suffocated in tears, drowning in every emotion I’d stopped myself from feeling for so long.
I needed his arms; otherwise, I’d die. I needed him to hold me now he’d decimated the podium I’d stood on and left me in rubble.
I had no one else.
Not even myself.
His arms lashed tight. His lips landed on my scalp again, and he rocked me like an infant. He didn’t try to pull out, and the thickness of him coupled with the heaviness of his heartbeat surrounded me until my tears became waterfalls of grief.
I never thought sex would be my undoing.
Sex had been my nemesis for so long, but I’d blocked it out.
I couldn’t block him out.
I couldn’t stop the knowledge that while he’d taken me against my will, my body had invited it.
Time lost all meaning as he rocked and murmured and gave me a place to come undone all while he hugged me both inside and out.
My hips hurt spread over his. My pussy clenched against his invasion. My eyes blurred the world even as he remained hard and completely impaled inside me.
I ceased to be Alrik’s.
And became Elder’s instead.
WHAT THE FUCK was I thinking?
How had I let myself snap so totally? I hadn’t given in to my irresponsible compulsiveness for years, and now, I’d done the worst thing I could ever do.
Pim clung to me, bawling as if I could save her from the awful thing I’d just done. I hated that she still permitted me to be her saviour while I was no better than the men I’d stolen her from.
“It’s okay.” I stroked her hair, gritting my teeth every time her body shuddered and the delicious fucking way it felt around my cock. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
I couldn’t do this anymore. My self-control was at its frayed and bitter end. I’d have to sell her or just take her back and give her freedom.
I can’t do this.
So what she knew who I was and had enough evidence to have police come knocking on my door? I had to do the right thing for once, and the right thing was letting her go.
“Pim…it’s okay.”
The knowledge I’d grant her freedom calmed me a little. If I could piece her back together now, she would never have to see me again after tonight.
Taking a steady breath, I whispered, “Sit up, so I can eh…” What? Pull out. Remove myself from you. Stop raping you.
I cringed against such a word.
Pim hugged me tighter, her shoulders bunched as if she would be swept away if I let her go. Her teeth marks on my shoulder smarted, a faint tickle of liquid hinting she’d drawn blood.
Shit, if it meant she could reverse some of the damage I’d caused by delivering it on my skin, I’d gladly take it.
No wonder my family left me.
They were right.
Look at me.
I truly am a monster.
Holding her was the hardest fucking thing I’d done. I wanted to disengage and give her some space. But if holding her until I died was what it took to redeem myself, then so be it.
I didn’t try to rush her.
While she cried, I did my best to deflate my cock but nothing worked. Her strength was what attracted me to her in the first place. Her tears were what made me snap now.
This felt like an end. I’d ruined it. I’d proven to her that my promises meant shit and she was right to look at me with accusation and suspicion. Right to believe I would one day hurt her because what the fuck was I doing now?
I was inside her against her will. I’d taken something she wasn’t prepared to give. I’d lost control. Again.
Time ticked onward, but I never stopped stroking or cradling.
The gift she gave by allowing me to touch her after I’d forced myself onto her crippled me.