He studied me just as hard as I studied him.
I saw a man with control issues.
A man so used to the world bowing at his expensive feet.
But I also saw a man who knew what it was like to be me. To be the one without a choice, without a life…without hope.
Then, as if remembering that I was nothing more than a whore who existed for his discretion, his mask refastened into place.
His touch turned harsh.
“You don’t get to direct this evening’s fun, Pimlico. That’s my job.”
My breath caught as he forced my fingers to swirl harder on my clit, gathering yet more tingling electricity.
“I’ll find out sooner rather than later. You will answer me. But for now, I refuse to waste any more time.”
His cock wedged on my hip, throbbing beneath his trousers. “I want to be inside you, but for your sake, I’m going to wait until you’re dripping wet.” His nose skimmed mine. “Isn’t that fair of me? Nice of me?”
Grabbing my broken hand with his free one, he slammed it above my head, restraining me. Pinned to the mattress by his fist, body, and hips, I was completely helpless, hopeless, and utterly at his mercy.
I gulped as his throat worked hard, his hair falling over one eye as he pressed his forehead against my temple. “You’re going to feel something good, Pim. It’s all in your head.” His fingers manhandled mine to drift from clit to entrance and back again. The stroking felt different this time, less strange but just as appalling.
I clamped my lips together as a betraying moan built in my chest. Not in pleasure but in a plea.
He could hurt me, force me, demand me, but I wouldn’t come.
I can’t.
How could I do something that I’d never done before? How could I fix something that’d been broken from the start?
I would never enjoy this.
Ever.
I would never want this.
Ever.
And if he’d become just like Alrik and only wanted to fuck me…so be it.
I had a way to protect myself.
I would leave while he ravaged my body.
And I would never think of him again because he’d destroy any feelings I might’ve developed.
Run…
Taking a deep gulp, I tightened and relaxed all at once. I vibrated and tingled all at the same time as my sex clenched on its own accord and my sovereignty over my limbs vanished.
I became floppy—exactly like a doll these bastards favoured.
My muscles puddled into the bed, my legs fell open, and my mind…that was the best part.
I escaped.
I disappeared inside me, swirling faster and faster until I was too deep to be reached, too far to be beaten, too protected to be ruined any more than I already was.
I didn’t care his dragon blew smoke in anger.
I didn’t hear his tormented groan.
I didn’t feel my fingers inside me.
I
was
gone.
SHE WAS STILL here.
Her hot body still lived beneath our joint fingers. Her breathing still tickled my chest. Her presence still made me hard.
But everything that made her Pimlico disappeared.
Her fight, her righteous anger, her confusion and strength and courage.
All vanished.
So that’s how she’s protected herself.
She might not know pleasure. She might only understand pain. But she’d figured out how to garrison her mind. Fuck, if that didn’t intrigue me more. If I were any more interested in this woman, I wouldn’t be able to walk away when the moment came.
Even now, we’d run out of time. I was shocked Alrik hadn’t barged in while I’d touched her. (Not that I’d touched her, merely guided her in self-exploration).
The fact he hadn’t arrived yet set my teeth on edge and wariness living in my blood.
But now, I’d fucked up and lost the girl and her secrets. The only thing I could do was coax her back to me before it was too late.
Unlocking our joined fingers, I rearranged my cock so it didn’t fucking give me blue balls and sat up. The bed rocked, but Pimlico remained staring blank-gazed at the ceiling.
She didn’t flinch when my shadow fell over her or curl into a ball when I reached out and cupped her cheek.
She merely lay there, waiting.
If I wanted to steal from this slave, I’d have to use her conditioning against her.
I couldn’t ask questions anymore.
I’d have to demand answers.
It was the way she’d been taught.
The only way she’d respond.
Running both hands through my hair, I shed my need to give her some margin of enjoyment and sat taller.
My lips parted to give her a command to return. To order her to snap out of it.
But something stopped me.
She looked so innocent and so damn tired. Shadows lived permanently beneath her eyes while exhaustion sat on her limbs.
I’d pushed her too far.
The least I could do was grant a moment’s rest. My impatience siphoned away as gentler memories of caring for another gave me the ability to be kind.
“Roll onto your side,” I whispered, pushing her shoulder.
She shifted obediently, but gave no recognition of listening.
Once she faced away, I slid up the bed to recline against the headboard once again.
My gaze locked on the door as I placed my hand on her naked back. She didn’t flinch—not because of trust and acceptance but because she’d left her body behind.
She didn’t care what I did to it because she’d blocked me from affecting her mind.