The fear around me is tangible, a slimy, choking thing you can almost reach out and touch. We all started that way, in terror of Nico. Bit by bit as we achieved and he approved, it changed: the fear remained but the rest of it followed. We started to understand that everything he did, he did for us. To make us stronger. To keep us safe.
But Nico just raises an eyebrow. ‘It’s your group, Katran. What do you think you should do about it?’
Katran smiles. ‘Night training again tonight.’ He raises a hand to tell them to go, and a few start taking hesitant steps away.
‘Wait,’ Nico says. ‘There is one more problem.’
They all stop, still, eyes back on Nico.
‘We’ve had a serious breach of security. One of you has slipped away, told some tales about us. Who is it?’ His voice is ice, and though I know it isn’t me, that it is one of this group, their fear is so contagious it has me in hold with them. Dread pools inside at what will happen next.
He glances at the white faces, one by one, and holds their eyes. I spot the guilty one before he gets to her: a dark-haired girl, she was in Year 10 at school, I think. She shakes and can’t meet his gaze.
Nico sighs. Gestures at Katran, who grabs her, pulls her forwards from the others. Holds her in front of Nico.
‘Holly, isn’t it?’ Nico says. He reaches a hand forward; she flinches, but he just lightly touches her cheek. He smiles. ‘Tell us what you’ve done,’ he says, his voice gentle.
She looks up, desperate hope in her eyes. She doesn’t know him as well as I do: angry would be safer. ‘I’m sorry, Nico. I had to see him, to say goodbye.’
‘Who? A boyfriend?’ Nico glances at Katran, who rolls his eyes.
‘No. My brother.’
‘Holly. I seem to remember you telling me with great passion how you hated the Lorders, that you’d do anything to overthrow them. That we were your new family.’
‘You are! This is all I want to do, to be. You have to believe me. I’ll do anything.’
‘Anything?’ He nods to himself. ‘We shall see. But you’ve put us at risk.’
‘He won’t tell anybody!’
‘Then how do I know about it?’ His words sink in. Her face, if it could get any paler, does. ‘We don’t make the rules lightly, Holly. Holding onto past ties twists loyalties. They make you vulnerable, and weak.’
Nico looks over their heads. Waves a hand. The group parts down the middle without discussion; from the woods come two men, and between them, a boy. Thirteen at most, an arm held by each. Struggling.
Nico scans the faces. ‘Everyone, meet Holly’s brother.’ He turns back to Holly. ‘Now, here is my dilemma. You tell me things, you make promises, then you break the rules.’ Nico smiles. ‘Yet you say you will do anything for our cause.’
He nods at Katran, who lets her go. She is trembling.
‘You have created a security risk. You must eliminate it.’
Nico reaches under his jacket. Takes out a gun. Checks it. Hands it to Holly.
No. She won’t. He won’t make her. No!
Her brother realises before she does. He stops struggling. Stares at her with huge brown eyes, at his big sister who holds a gun in her hands. Looking at it like she can’t work out how it got there.
Nico puts a hand on her shoulder, pulls her hair behind one ear and speaks softly. ‘Know that you did this to him, whether you pull the trigger or somebody else does. You did it. Finish what you started,’ he says.
The gun shakes wildly in her hands and I fight for control, to not throw myself at her and take it from her. To then get held myself between those two men like that boy is now.
She finally looks up. At Nico, into his eyes. He nods.
Her face is blank. She holds the gun in both hands, tries to steady it.
‘Bang!’ Katran yells. Everyone flinches, then he laughs, takes the gun from her hands. Opens it and shows all around: not loaded.
Holly collapses on the ground. Nico kneels down next to her. ‘I’d never make you kill your brother, silly girl. I care for all of you far too much. But you had to be taught this lesson. You all did.’ He stands and looks at each of the group in the eye, one after another.
He nods at the men, who release Holly’s brother. He’s smiling now; he runs to his sister and they cling to each other. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I had to play along to be able to come. So I could join Free UK, too.’
Nico reaches out a hand, pulls Holly to her feet. I’m shaking with relief. Of course I should have known better, should have had faith in Nico. I believed the whole thing. I shouldn’t have fallen for it, not like all these new recruits. Katran was either in on it the whole time, or worked it out. I should have, too.
Holly clings to Nico’s hand, her eyes full of gratitude. ‘Thank you Nico, thank you so much. You won’t be sorry for giving me another chance.’
‘I won’t be.’ He says the words with calm assurance, and Holly may not realise the thin ice she is on, but I do. No one crosses Nico and gets away with it. My stomach sinks. What she did, telling her brother, is nowhere near as bad as what I did. If Nico finds out my carelessness led to Lorders picking me up…well. That gun would have bullets in it.
I can’t tell him.
But what about Ben?
Nico faces the group. ‘While you’re all here, I have some special news. A great honour for you all. Thanks to some information from Princess, here’ – a grin twists at the corner of his mouth as he says the name, and he gestures at Tori – ‘we’ve managed to pin down the location of a Lorder RTC. A Recall and Termination Centre, where they take and murder so-called contract breakers. You’ll attack in a few days.’
The centre where Tori was taken? Where Slateds were killed, and dumped in the ground. My fists clench, full of pain inside at what was done to them there. Was nearly done to Tori, before a fate that may have been worse stepped in and claimed her.
Everyone smiles nervously, then cheers. Their first? Are they ready? I look at Katran, who quirks an eyebrow. He’s not sure, either.
But I’m ready. Maybe I can escape the mess with Coulson by leaving it behind.
‘Nico, can I—’
‘Wait.’ He puts a hand on my shoulder. ‘Come along inside, special one. Time for us to finish our talk.’
I follow him back in the house, feeling eyes on my back. Special: and labelled as such in front of them all. Katran’s taunt rings in my ears: too special to come along. We’ll see about that.
‘Now. What did you want to talk to me about?’
‘Let me help. I want to stay here, be part of things.’
Nico smiles. ‘I’m so pleased to hear you say what I already know, Rain.’ He leans forward, and kisses my forehead. ‘But you can’t stay here.’
‘But—’
He raises a hand. ‘Not yet. You can’t stay here yet. There are things you can do for us if you stay in your other life a bit longer. Big plans are coming, Rain. Soon I will tell you. For now, just know this. The Lorders and their ways are in jeopardy: there will be concerted attacks on many fronts. And you will play a vital role. You must stay safe.’
‘Please let me come on the RTC attack. Please! I’ll do anything.’ I hear the echo of Holly’s words earlier, and inside, deep down, some part wonders: would I really do anything? She almost did.
He stares back, considering. Drawing the moment out for so long that I almost jump into the silence with more pleas. Then he nods his head.
‘I can come?’
‘Yes, Rain. You can come,’ he says, smiling at me, and I bask in his approval. ‘Now, was there anything else?’
Ben. Help me find him; make him safe from Coulson. Take Coulson’s hold on me away. But standing there under Nico’s eyes, I can’t do it. I can’t tell him about Coulson. He’ll be so furious. All I want is to be part of this cause. Our cause. For Nico to keep looking at me as he is now, with warm favour. I’ll keep away from Coulson and tell him nothing. I’ll work out what to do about Ben by myself.
‘No, Nico. There is nothing else.’
‘Then come on, it’s time for you to go.’
Back outside, there is no sign of Tori or the others, but Katran waits by the door.
‘Take her home,’ Nico says.
Katran nods and I follow him to our trail bikes.
Without a word he takes off fast down the path, and I follow. We go the same way we came until the fork after the creek, then go the other way.
We continue on, and the path we are taking hooks up with a canal path, one not much used by the state of it. Twice we have to stop, lift our bikes over fallen trees.
After a fork it starts to widen and look familiar: the other way it links with the path by Ben’s house, I’m sure of it. Or where his house used to be. Which means this way links with the footpath over our village.
Katran soon stops. ‘We’ve put a hide in here for a bike.’ We go off the path, push through trees and brambles. ‘You can leave yours here so you can get to us if you need to.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Nico told me to sort it.’ He shoves my bike in, points out a box behind painted to look like leaves. ‘Usual stash of supplies. Water, food, fuel,’ he says, then pulls a tarp and branches back over the lot. ‘Never knew this was for you or I might have thought twice.’
I scowl at the acid in his voice. ‘Just what is your problem with me?’
He gets back on his bike. ‘My problem? I haven’t got a problem. You, on the other hand, are nothing but problems, special girl.’ With that he starts his bike and disappears up the path.
Great. The one person from my past I can totally do without, and he is the one who is here.
The sun is getting low in the sky as I trudge home, hurrying now to avoid questions about where I’ve been if I’m too late. The last few miles disappear while I think.
I chickened out.
There it is, faced straight on: I was afraid to tell Nico the truth.
Look what happened to Holly: if that is what Nico does to one of his own whose only sin is telling her brother why she left, what will he make of me? I won’t be special any more if he finds out about Coulson. Especially when I didn’t tell him about it at first opportunity. I might not even be alive.
We are your family now. Nico would have no interest in helping me find Ben. To him, Ben would be another security risk: he makes me careless. Past ties twist loyalties.
I am twisted tight: between Nico, and Ben.
There is only one way to know what to do. I need to see Ben.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
* * *
‘Yes, dear?’
Cam’s aunt is older than I expect, grey hair swept up on top of her head. Anxious eyes peer through thin wire glasses.
I shift feet on the front step. ‘Is Cam home?’
‘Yes, I think so. Come in, dear.’
I follow her into a chintzy entranceway that leads to their front room: the whole place is crammed with cottage kitsch, frills and china animals everywhere.
‘Cameron? You have a guest,’ she calls.
He comes down the stairs and my breath catches at the sight of him. A day on and what the Lorder did to him looks worse, far worse; half his face is bruised, purple and swollen. He has the shiner from hell, and it is all my fault.
‘Thanks,’ he says, and looks at his aunt; she seems a little flustered. Disappears into the kitchen and shuts the door.
‘Er…nice place.’
‘Cut the crap. It sucks.’
‘Want to get out of it and go for a walk?’
‘Sure.’ He smiles at me with the half of his face that can still smile. We head out and I think we have more in common than I realised. The atmosphere in that house is weird. Watchful. He is stuck here with relatives he doesn’t really know, in a strange place. Not that different to what happened to me a few months ago when I landed across the road. At least Mum has better taste in home furnishings.