Also, I was never going to hit her while I was this angry. I had enough self-control to know that true discipline for my little submissive called for me to be in total control of her and the situation. I wasn’t feeling very controlled right now. In fact, I wanted to ring her fucking neck.
Trust was a very big thing in relationships such as the one I sought for us to have. We’d discussed that shit at length. Maybe it’s a female thing to lose their fucking minds whenever another female came into the picture. I don’t know, but she’d lost all sense in the blink of an eye.
I reminded myself of my reaction to the whole Josh situation and then reminded myself that the two were not the same. I had in no way encouraged this female whoever she is, but Kitten had been inadvertently flirting with that fuck. Whatever the case, my fucking woman-my fucking rules.
I practically threw her into the car and kept my distance when I joined her in the backseat. I guess by the time we were pulling up to the building, she was coming back to her senses, because she kept sneaking peeks at me while I kept my attention on the scenery out the window. But it was too late for that. There was no way I was letting this shit go.
I didn’t touch her as we walked through the lobby to the private elevator, didn’t touch her in the elevator, no I held myself in check until we were behind closed doors.
That’s when I manhandled her and pushed her back against the wall. I studied her eyes first to see how scared she was or if she was still just pissed.
I wanted her scared yes, but not terrified. A bird wouldn’t eat out of your hand if it’s afraid you’d bring it harm now would it? And since she was still in the learning stages, I had to tread carefully.
“You want to repeat that again, what you said back there?” She tried to disappear into the wall. I grabbed her chin with one hand and fisted her hair with the other.
“Look into my eyes; you don’t ever fucking doubt me again.” I shook her a little. “I don’t give a fuck what or who you never doubt my word.
And you definitely never question; do you have any idea how close you are to being hurt?” I took a minute to cool the fuck down because I was angrier than I’d thought.
I felt like we’d lost something in the last couple of hours, something that unraveled a lot of what we had gained in the last week and a half.
“You have anything you want to say to me?”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice though not exactly scared was worried. She was beginning to see the enormity of her fuck up.
“Yeah, and why’s that?” I got closer to her until she could feel my breath on her face.
“Because I…I was wrong?” She said it more like a question than a statement and I wasn’t quite satisfied.
“Not fucking good enough. You signed on the dotted line so that means you’re mine. You don’t get to pull this shit before we even get started and that shit about Marion and I playing you is a fucking insult. Learn something about your man here and now Gabriella.” I spat her name out angrily.
“I’m no fucking little boy to be playing games. You’ve never seen the wrong side of me and I pray you never do but I gotta tell you, you’re real fucking close right now. You make this the last time you question my manhood. Go to your room.”
I didn’t stick around to watch her walk away but headed for my study. Something about that whole thing was fucking with my head. I’m not such a fucking dog that I wouldn’t remember a woman I’d fucked, no matter how long ago it had been.
I didn’t have indiscriminate sex, didn’t do one-night stands, not since my college days anyway. No, that whole scene smacked of bullshit.
I should’ve got her name but there was always ways around everything. Whatever she was up to, I wasn’t going to be ambushed again. Fuck her anyway. I was more concerned with Gabriella and her bullshit.
Here I was thinking we’d made so much progress, that we’d come so far in such a short time. I hadn’t spent all our time together teaching her how to fuck, or how I like my cock to be sucked. I’ve been grooming my little princess, showering her with attention and gifts and everything she needs from me to feel safe.
There was nothing she couldn’t ask me. Nothing I haven’t done for her to show her how much she means and there’s still so much more, but I was sure she knew. How could she doubt? That more than anything else cut me deep. Not the pain in her eyes from whatever she thought my past had to do with us here and now, but the fact that she felt threatened by it.
***
Chapter 20
I stayed away from her for the rest of the afternoon while I tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. No amount of digging into my memory banks produced a name to go with the face, though I had the feeling that I’d seen her somewhere before. I just couldn’t put my finger on where.