I nodded. It was still hard. At first I was in shock, then angry. Anytime I thought about her, I was mad. Furious that she was taken from me. So I tried desperately to get her out of my mind. But no matter how much homework and cooking I did, she was always there. And then it became comforting to me.
Because even though she wasn’t physically there, she would always be with me.
“You know what I think we should do?” Gran asked.
“Go get ice cream at Murphy’s?”
She laughed the same laugh as Mom. “Well, of course, but I also think that every night at dinner, we should share a favorite memory of your mother. Would you like that?”
Four years ago, I would’ve hated it. Four months ago, I would’ve felt uncomfortable about it. But now, here, I was finally ready to celebrate my mother’s life with others.
“I’d like that.” I paused. “And I think Mom would really like it as well.”
She gave me a little squeeze. “Yes, she would.”
We continued walking, both of us inside our own thoughts. Although I was pretty sure I knew what occupied our minds.
There was almost a lightness to me once we started our ritual. Every night we’d tell a story, usually a funny one. Gran and Gramps would break out their old photo albums and I’d be amazed at how similar I looked to Teen Mom.
It had taken me a long time to open up to Levi about Mom. But now I found it easier to talk about her. I’d even mentioned her a few times to Liam.
“She sounds brilliant,” Liam said as he drove us around the peninsula.
“She was.” I took in the breathtaking views. It didn’t matter that I’d been there for over a month; I still hadn’t gotten used to the sheer magnitude of the beauty.
“By the way, you should’ve come last night.” Liam glanced at me. “It was great crack.”
I was stunned into silence.
He started laughing. “Oh, relax, Yank, it’s C-R-A-I-C. Craic means good fun, conversation, atmosphere. Did ya think we were doing drugs?”
“No, of course not.” Although I totally had.
“Here we are.” Liam pulled off to the side of the road. We were surrounded by lush green hills. And down below, we could make out the tiny town of Dingle.
“It’s gorgeous.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.” Liam led me to another rocky hill, which had a small waterfall flowing into it. “What do you think?”
I started to carefully climb up the rocks. “It’s amazing. Thank you so much.”
“Well, I plan on you giving me the ultimate American tour when I come to the States.”
I turned around to say something to him when my foot missed the rock. Before I knew it, I was ankle deep in mud.
“No!” I pulled my foot out, but it was too late. My entire canvas shoe was covered.
Liam jumped up to help me back down. “Well, that won’t do.” He bent down and removed my shoe. I was horrified by my clumsiness. He went over to a shallow puddle of water and started cleaning off the mud. I could do nothing but stand there with my one foot off the ground, hoping I wouldn’t fall over from my lack of balance.
The shoe was considerably cleaner, yet it was soaking wet. We both stared at my dripping, dirty shoe, before Liam shrugged and took both his shoes off. “You know the saying, when in Dingle …”
I laughed and removed my other shoe. We explored the rest of the area in bare feet. He reached out his hand to me on a particularly steep climb.
“Thanks, Levi.”
Liam gave me a questioning look. “Levi?”
“Huh?”
“You said ‘Thanks, Levi.’ Who’s Levi?”
“Oh, I did? That’s odd.” What was odd was that I hadn’t yet mentioned Levi to Liam or vice versa. “Levi’s a friend from home.”
Liam raised his eyebrows. “A friend, huh?”
“Yes, aren’t guys and girls allowed to be friends in Ireland?”
“It depends on if you want to be friends with a girl.” He came over and put his hand on my waist. “Or if you want something more. So what do you want?”
I held my breath. I didn’t know what he was asking exactly. Did I want something more with him or something more with Levi? I clearly didn’t know the answer to either.
Part of me thought a little vacation romance might be nice, but I still hadn’t fully figured out what to do with Levi. We’d been talking more and more each week I was there. But it didn’t change the reason I was currently thousands of miles away from him. From home.
“Excuse me.” A recognizable accent broke me from my thoughts. We looked down to see a middle-aged American couple. “Would you take our picture?”
“Of course.” I hopped down and snapped their photo, grateful for the interruption.
Liam began chatting with the couple when he found out they were from Dallas. He wanted to know about everything from cowboy boots to the Cowboys and barbecue. It really was adorable how dorky he was about all things American.
Liam excused himself from the Texans when he got a call on his phone. “Brilliant!” he exclaimed. If I had learned anything in my few weeks in Ireland, it was that everything was brilliant: food, music, an idea, possibly a kiss…. It was such a better word than awesome or amazing. I was thinking of bringing it back with me as a linguistic souvenir, but when I’d tried it out on Levi when we were video chatting, he’d laughed at me. Then he did a minute or two of re-creating everything I’d said, but in an exaggerated cockney accent. I would’ve been angry if it hadn’t been hysterical.