I started to do the math in my head. He would miss track in the spring. Football next year was questionable. So much of his identity rode on his being on a team. At least he should be okay for his last year of track.
We walked into the kitchen and saw Mrs. Rodgers sitting with Keith and Tim at the table. Keith smiled at me, then froze when he saw my dad.
“Hey, guys,” I said to relieve the tension.
Dad stood silently next to me. “It’s okay,” I whispered to him. It was already pretty obvious that I knew how to handle myself around Keith. If anybody should be worried, it should be him.
Keith stood up uncomfortably. “It was pretty bad,” he said. Tim nodded in agreement. “And I swear, Macallan, it wasn’t my fault.”
“Why would I think it was your fault?” I said. Although the thought had crossed my mind.
He let out a slight grunt. “Um, it’s pretty clear you don’t like me.”
“Whatever would’ve given you that impression?” I asked dryly.
“Macallan,” Levi’s dad interrupted. “He’s upstairs and ready to see you.”
I walked up the stairs slowly, unsure of what was waiting for me in Levi’s room. Even though the door was open, I knocked on it anyway.
He was sitting up in bed, his right leg wrapped up, elevated, and with a pack of ice on it.
“How you feeling?” I asked, even though his face gave away his misery.
“I can’t believe how much I messed this up.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
“It’s going to be okay.” I grabbed his desk chair and brought it over to his bedside. “You’ll get stronger from this.”
“Six months. At least.” His voice revealed that he could hardly believe it himself. His eyes darted to my side. “What is that?” He gestured at the bag of brownies I had forgotten all about. I was gripping it as if my life depended on it.
“Oh, um, do you want some brownies? They still need to thaw.” I had never felt like a bigger idiot in my life.
He laughed. “It’s good to know that some things never change.” He winced slightly and I bolted up.
“Are you okay? Do you need something?” I was so worried that he was going to break on my watch.
“No.” He looked down at his leg. “Well, I do need a lot. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare ACL lying around, by any chance?”
I was relieved he was making a joke. Not that I found any of this funny, but it was nice he wasn’t so far gone that his sense of humor had disappeared.
We both sat in silence for a few minutes. I really didn’t know what to say to him. To be honest, I’d been waiting for him to apologize to me for months. And I almost told him right then and there that all he needed to do was say he was sorry and mean it. But I knew it wasn’t the right time.
I saw it was getting late, and more as an excuse to break the silence, I got up. “I figure you need some —”
He grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry, Macallan.”
In my head, I’d planned to list all the reasons he should be sorry and remind him of all the times I had been there for him. Of how hurtful his actions and words had been. Of how much pain he’d caused me. But I didn’t need to say any of that.
Because he already knew.
Instead, I said what we both needed to hear.
“It’s okay.” I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.
“It’s not,” he said. “What I did —”
I stopped him. “I know, and you’ve apologized. And I’m sorry, too. What I think we both need is to get back to where we used to be.”
“That’s all I want.” He smiled at me. That familiar smile I hadn’t seen on his face in months. “You know I don’t deserve you.”
“Oh, I do know.” I winked at him, then turned and walked downstairs. I had a feeling that things were going to be okay between us.
We had both made mistakes and been admittedly stubborn, but we needed to move on with, not away from, each other.
“Hey!” Dad lit up when he saw me. “You’re smiling. I take it everything’s okay up there.”
I knew, given the circumstances, my joy should’ve been more contained, but I couldn’t help it.
Levi was in my life again.
The weeks leading up to Christmas were busier than usual.
On top of studying for exams, Christmas shopping, and booking extra babysitting gigs to pay for said shopping, I also had to be Levi’s caretaker at school. I was given keys to his car so I could help his mom transport him to and from school. I also helped him with his bags, which really annoyed him more than the crutches he had to use until his surgery, which was scheduled for two days after New Year’s.
Keith, Tim, and the other guys on the team were helpful for the first few days, but either their guilt had subsided or the luster of helping out their fellow man lessened, because they pretty much became MIA. Sure, they’d cheer “California” when they saw Levi hobbling in the hallway, but that was the extent of their help.
Of course Stacey and the cheerleaders (even Emily) were more than willing to help. Nothing like playing Florence Nightingale to drum up romantic delusions.
Unfortunately, Levi was not an appreciative patient. He hated asking the guys for help and didn’t want to be pitied by any of the girls. He especially despised having his mom come into school with him, because it made him feel like he was in first grade again.