“No, nothing really ended.” A look of concern flashed on Alex’s face. “Because we never dated. We’re just friends. Well, not just friends. He’s my best friend. He has been for almost five years.” Give or take a few months of cold feet and cold shoulders.
“Oh.” Alex looked confused.
I was honestly so tired of this conversation that I looked down at the menu and pretended to be really interested in the specials listed.
“Do you know what you want to get?” Alex asked. Probably also grateful to change the subject.
“I think so. Do you want to get cheese curds to start?”
He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Yuck. I know, how very un-Wisconsin of me, but I don’t like those things.”
“Oh, okay.”
“But feel free to get some.”
Usually, Levi and I would split the appetizer, so it would be too much for only me. Even if I did like my fried cheese.
Alex reached into his pocket for his phone. “Sorry — I keep getting texts from my buddies. They’re giving me grief for going back to my high school for a dance.” He scrolled down his messages, occasionally groaning. “Something about robbing the cradle. How original.”
I wasn’t going to lie and say I hadn’t wondered the same thing. Why would he want to go back to attend a high school dance. Was it pity? Nostalgia? I had no clue. Maybe this was getting more complicated than I thought it would be. I only wanted to go to a dance with a cute boy. And not think of Levi.
But the problem was that Levi always came up.
I tried to convince myself that this dance was nothing. I wanted to go with someone and hope my feelings for Levi would go away.
But they weren’t going away. They were growing more and more by the day.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I was conflicted. I felt sick to my stomach.
And I really wanted those cheese curds.
I tried to push everything out of my head the week leading up to the dance.
It was only a dance. I had made plenty of comments about how high school dances were silly and conformed to the ever-sexist stereotype about male-female relationships (it was very Floyd of me). And for the first time since homecoming last year, Levi and I both would be going with a date. Him with his girlfriend of nearly six months. Just the thought of seeing his arms around her …
It was pretty clear who was winning this battle.
Even though it wasn’t a competition.
But part of me felt like it was. Which one of us could survive without the other? And while Levi needed my help to physically get around, he didn’t need need me.
Well, he did need me to help him pick out a tie.
There I was in his bedroom, a few hours before the dance. He held out two tie options for me.
“I know this is boring,” I said, “but I like the skinny black one. It’s more formal.”
He tossed the other tie aside. “Thanks.” He used both his arms to help himself up. He was getting more mobile but still needed his brace for a few more days.
“Are you going to be okay getting there?” I asked. “Not like I don’t doubt Keith’s strength or anything, but he needs to be careful.”
“I’ll be fine, but thanks.” He wobbled over to his closet. “What time do you need to get ready for college boy?”
I looked at my watch. “I probably should leave soon. Do you think it’s strange that he’s taking me?”
Levi shook his head. “I would find it odd if anybody didn’t want to take you anywhere you wanted to go.”
I was stunned by Levi’s response. It was sweet and exactly what I needed to hear. Usually we’re ribbing each other, so I almost didn’t know how to respond to such a sincere gesture.
As if Alex could read my mind, he called as I was saying good-bye to Levi. “Better take this,” I said as I went into the hallway for some privacy.
“Hey, I’m so glad I caught you,” Alex seemed out of breath. “I feel awful.”
“Is everything all right?” I asked.
“No, I’m so sorry, but I can’t go tonight.” I heard shouting in the background. “My friends convinced me to rush, and the frat we’re interested in wants us to … well, I can’t really say, except that I won’t be going anywhere this entire weekend.”
And here I’d been thinking I’d have to wait a couple years before a frat boy broke my heart.
Although my heart wasn’t really broken. I was excited to hang out with Alex, but not as much as I should’ve been. I knew what it was like to like someone. And I didn’t have those feelings for Alex.
“It’s okay.” I made some other comments to make Alex feel better, when in reality, he should’ve been comforting me. I don’t even remember how we ended the conversation.
But I do remember seeing Levi look at me through a partially opened door.
I gave him a smile. “Well, Alex can’t make it. So I’m going to go home and consume a bunch of food and watch a sappy movie, as one does in these circumstances.”
Levi looked at me intensely. “Do you want to go with me?”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to be the third wheel.”
He hobbled forward. “No, that’s not what I’m asking. Macallan, do you want to go to the dance with me?”
He wasn’t making sense. “What about Stacey?”
“Can you forget about Stacey and everybody else for a second? I’m asking you a simple question: Do you want to go with me?”