Kissing Under the Mistletoe (The Sullivans #9) - Page 62/67

And all the while he’d believed that it was better to throw something away than to have it stolen from him later.

Rafe hadn’t cheated on Brooke, but it was just as bad that he hadn’t talked to her, or had enough respect for her strength to tell her how scared he was about loving her, and about whether he could be the man she needed him to be. He’d been so proud of himself for never cheating on a woman, when all the while it turned out that he was worse than any of the scum he’d caught cheating over the years.

How was he going to fix things?

These were the most important twenty-four hours of his life, and he felt lost. Completely, utterly lost. He’d finally put a stop to the investigations that had darkened his heart, but was it too little, too late?

Other people came to Rafe Sullivan for help. He didn’t go to them. But, suddenly, he realized he’d been a fool for more than one reason, with more than just Brooke. His family had always been there for him, but he’d shut them out. Not just after he’d been slashed with the knife, but long before that, when his job—and life—had become something he didn’t much like anymore.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and dialed. "Mia, I need your help."

"Rafe? What happened?" Of course, before he could answer, his sister had already guessed it had something to do with Brooke. "What did you do?"

"I screwed everything up, just like you predicted."

"How?"

"I ran a background check on Brooke’s business partner without checking with her first."

She made a considering sound. "Well, that shows a major lack of respect, but honestly, even though I’m sure she’s mad about it, I don’t think it’s anything you can’t come back from if you grovel enough."

"That’s not all, Mia." He swallowed hard at the full extent of his stupidity. "I did a background on Brooke, too."

"Oh, shit, Rafe." She was silent for a long moment. "You’re my brother, and I love you, but you sure aren’t making it easy on a sister to help. Because if a man I was sleeping with did that to me—"

"We aren’t just sleeping together. I love her. And I only have twenty-four hours to figure out a way to get her back."

He didn’t know what he expected Mia to say to him upon hearing that he’d fallen in love with her childhood friend. He only knew it wasn’t, "You would never have done something like that if you didn’t love her." Of course Mia followed it up with something he did expect. "I swear, men are so stupid sometimes I can’t believe there’s any of you left." She let out a long, deep sigh. "If you had just forgotten her birthday or something like that, I could give you an easy fix. You know, a dozen roses or standing outside her window while you recite the poetry you wrote about how beautiful she is. But after what you’ve done, I’m going to need some time to think of a much better way for you to unlock her heart again so that she can trust you."

"Unlocking her heart," he said slowly as the first answer came to him in a rush. "Thanks for being there for me, sis."

"Wait a minute, I haven’t even told you what to do yet."

"Just wish me luck." As soon as she did, Rafe shoved the phone in his pocket and headed straight for his motorcycle.

Maybe, the cynical voice inside him cautioned as he rode toward the hardware store, his plans to unlock Brooke’s heart wouldn’t be enough to win her back. And maybe a day, a week, a year ago, that would have stopped him from even trying.

But not today. Not when he was finally willing to believe that there was a chance to reclaim the love he’d mistakenly tossed away.

He’d grovel. He’d beg. He’d plead. He’d strip off every last layer of pride to try to win back Brooke’s love. He’d make sure to undo each of his mistakes, one by one, during the next twenty-four hours.

And then if that failed, he’d start all over again at the beginning.

* * *

Brooke felt as though she’d been sleepwalking through her meetings in Seattle. Cord had expressed concern about how pale she was when she first arrived, but she knew if she let down her guard for even one second, she wouldn’t be able to get it back up. The last thing she wanted was to meet everyone in the local retail association with eyes red from crying, and cheeks wet with tears, so she made sure to hold it together all day long.

When she’d come alone to Seattle just two days earlier it had been less to think through things with Rafe than to drop into Indulgence to purchase a few sexy surprises for him. But this time, all there was ahead of her for the next twenty-four hours were swirling thoughts and questions.

The only thing she knew for sure was how much she loved Rafe.

If only she knew whether or not that love could be enough...

After turning down Cord’s offer to take her for a drink, she headed on foot through the city. The sky was heavy with the threat of rain, and she found herself hoping it would start to pour, that maybe the rain could wash away her doubts. Doubts she’d never allowed herself to feel before today.

As she walked down the sidewalk, every man she saw with dark hair and broad shoulders had her hoping it was Rafe and that he’d ignored her request for twenty-four hours apart.

Brooke sighed at her wildly careening emotions. When he’d told her he wanted to make up for what he’d done, every cell in her body had wanted to lean back into him and stay right there in the circle of his arms. It had been the hardest thing she’d ever done to force herself to be smart…and to leave to put some thinking space between them.