Breathe into Me - Page 21/64

It was the same eyes I looked at day in and day out. The warm, honey color would make you believe the person who wore those eyes would be full of warmth and love … when in reality he was as cold as ice, and as evil as the days were long. My eyes were the only things my father had given me; but he had taken everything.

He had taken my mother from me the night he murdered her.

The night I did nothing but sit there and watch.

Jessi sat back on her heels, giving me room to sit up on the edge of my bed. I pulled my hair at the roots, hoping the pain radiating from my scalp would dull the pain I felt at my core after reliving that night through my dream. But honestly, nothing ever soothed that ache and it never would. Throughout the years, the guilt had lessened a bit but I knew it would never fully go away. Some days it was easier to deal with, some days the pain and guilt was so crippling it was hard for me to even get out of bed. That’s why I would forever be in debt to Jessi and her wonderful family. I wouldn’t have made it through the last six years without them.

“I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay now?” Jessi whispered.

I nodded. “Yeah, Jess, I am. But could you do me a favor? Will you sleep with me tonight?”

This wasn’t a strange request to her. For the longest time after I had moved in with her, the images of that night came back so strong and real that she slept most nights in bed with me. I couldn’t stand to be alone. Every time I was alone, I was left with only my thoughts, and at that time my every thought was of that night. Being alone was just a reminder that I was—in every sense of the word—alone.

“Sure, silly. Now scoot. These beds are a lot smaller than the ones we have at home though. So just know if my ass ends up on the floor sometime throughout the night, I’m going kick yours when I climb back in bed with you,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Deal,” I said and scooted as far as the wall would allow.

“Thank you, Jess. For everything,” I whispered to the dark room, and her tiny hand grasped mine.

“You’re my best friend, Kelsey. I’ll always be here.”

Exhaustion from the dream finally took over and I drifted off to sleep again, holding tight to my best friend’s hand.

I slept through the rest of the night in a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

A thump that I assumed was Jessi’s body hitting the floor, was our wakeup call the next morning. After the thump, I heard muffled curse words being thrown around before Jessi’s wild red hair popped up over the side of my bed.

“Good Morning.” I sweetly smiled at her.

She grunted at me before returning my greeting with a quick, “Mornin.’” before she crawled over to her bed, climbed in, and went back to sleep.

I silently laughed before making my way to the bathroom for a quick shower. Lucas said it would be okay to shower the next morning, just as long as I tried to keep my more fragrant-filled soaps away from the tattoo as much as possible.

I hopped in the shower and began washing my hair, making sure to keep my hair away from my new tattoo. After I was done, I used a clip to hold my hair on top of my head as I began to wash my body. All and all I think I did a pretty good job keeping my tattoo out of harm’s way, but I was stilling going to have to wake Sleeping Beauty in there to help me clean the tattoo and reapply the ointment Lucas had given us for them.

After finally waking Jessi, and more or less pushing her into the bathroom so she could take her shower, we doctored our tattoos and set out for the day. We started the morning off with a cup of coffee and small breakfast at the coffee shop Kane and I had gone to that first day after class to have our talk. We then decided a little girl’s day to celebrate making it through the first week of classes was in order. After finding a salon that could fit us both in, we got our hair washed, trimmed, and styled. There was nothing like having someone else wash your hair. Even if we’d already had showers that morning, there was something about salon shampoos that made your hair shine and bounce like no other shampoo could.

We both had perfectly-styled, full-bouncing, curls when we came out of the salon. Mine were swept to my left side by a French braid that way I could wear it down, and still keep it off my tattoo.

Jessi wanted to go out tonight and of course she had to have a brand new outfit for the occasion, so we stopped by a few local clothing stores before heading back to the dorm. I was tighter on money than Jessi, so I figured I would just look around and not really buy anything. Well, that had been the plan at least, until I found the cutest pink, off the shoulder dress. The material was so soft and was made to fit you tight and show off all your curves. I was lovingly petting the material when Jessi came up behind me and squealed.

“Oh mah God, Kelsey! You have to get that dress for tonight! With your tan skin and brown hair, that pink will just pop!” she exclaimed.

She had a point. I had always been naturally tan, and bright colors always stood out best on me. But bright colors also drew attention, and attention was something I just wasn’t so comfortable with anymore.

“I don’t know, Jessi. I already have some stuff that I can wear. There’s really no point in wasting money for this.”

“At least try it on, Kels. Please … pretty please! I want to see how hot you look in it.”

I stared at the dress for another second or two before conceding there really wasn’t any harm in just trying it on. “Fine. Let me see if there is a changing room open.”

I walked into the first open room and hung the dress up on one of the hooks. I stood there staring at the dress for another minute. It had been a long time since I had actually bought myself anything as nice as this dress.

After sliding the soft dress over my body, I looked at myself in the mirror. Trying on this dress might have been a mistake because now that I saw it on me, I really wanted it. It came down to mid-thigh, a little shorter than what I was used to, but the dress was so beautiful I didn’t mind. The one strap that was going across my left shoulder was embossed with tiny silver jewels that glittered when the light hit them. I was in love with the dress and it fit me like a glove.

“Kelsey!” Jessi banged on the door to my changing room. “Don’t you even think about taking that dress off before I’ve had the chance to see it on you!”

She knew me so well. If I was trying on clothes and didn’t like the way they looked on me, there was no way I was stepping out of those tiny rooms to let the whole store see me in it. But that wasn’t the case with this dress. I loved this dress and had a feeling once Jess saw me in it, she would be adamant that I buy it.