While Kane was everything I thought I would never want, there was still a nagging at the back of my mind telling me I couldn’t be sure of what I wanted. It wasn’t like I had a whole lot of past boyfriends to know what my type was. Here I was—eighteen, and I had never even had a steady boyfriend before. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a prude. It wasn’t like I had never been kissed. But it was hard to find a relationship when everyone in town pitied you. Another reason I withdrew from everyone I once knew. I didn’t need their pity. What I needed was my mom. And I didn’t have her anymore.
I hated thinking about my mom before falling asleep, because almost every time I did, the nightmares of what had happened that night would follow. The guilt that almost consumed me daily, and the grief I hadn’t truly let myself feel, were enough to nearly cripple me. I didn’t need to add exhaustion on top of that from staying awake all hours of the night, for fear that every time I closed my eyes I would be back there, in that moment, living it all over again. I couldn’t handle that. Not now. Tomorrow was a new beginning. I needed this. I would start over fresh—for her.
I had managed to make it through the night without any nightmares and awoke the next morning before Jessi, again. I softly crept across the floor, trying my best not to wake her. I wanted to shower first like I did yesterday, but this time I didn’t take my time in the shower. I was too full of nervous energy and anticipation for my first class. I just wanted to get ready and get this day started.
My nerves had me hoping I hadn’t bit off more than I could chew with the classes I had picked. All the AP courses I had taken in high school had given me a slight advantage, making me feel a little more at ease about what was in store for me. But I knew nothing would compare to the real deal. This was college after all. There would be no second chances. It was up to me to make something of myself now.
Classes for the first part of the morning had gone as smoothly as I could have hoped for. The professors seemed to be really nice, but still had that no nonsense air about them. We, the students, of course got the expected speeches on how we were no longer in high school, and how they would not baby us and so on and so forth.
By midday I was starving. I had never been a breakfast person. A piece of toast every now and then was my breakfast of choice and I could usually make it all morning on that and not be hungry. But classes ran a little longer now then what they did in high school, and by the time I had I had a break it was a little past one o’clock and I was famished.
I made my way to the cafeteria, knowing Jessi would already be there waiting for me. Our tour the day before had shown us that her class was closer to the caf and let out earlier than mine, so we agreed that we would just meet there and eat together as soon as my class was over.
I was hurrying along, looking down over the syllabus from the last class when I collided with something hard.
Great!
The first thing that ran through my mind was that I had just walked into a door—like an idiot.
I slowly raised my head, expecting everyone around to be rolling with laughter. But with my head fully elevated, I saw that I had not just crashed into a door. No, instead of a door I was staring at a broad back in a white shirt.
I automatically ducked my head again and began apologizing to the poor person I had just plowed into. “I’m so sorry; I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
Glancing up when I didn’t get a response, I watched as the person I had run into turned around and slowly pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose until they were resting on the tip. Man that seemed familiar.
“So we meet again, beautiful. Ya know, just because you got run over the other night, that does not justify mowing down anyone you come in contact with today,” Kane laughed.
I should have known, that was just my luck. I would go crashing into him to further prove my klutz-like tendencies.
Wait. Did he just call me beautiful?
“Oh please, if I could mow you over with you being four times my size, then I would say it’s well deserved.” I needed to be snarky with him. If I wasn’t, I would probably end up stuttering like a mad woman and make an even bigger fool of myself then I already had.
Now that I was standing this close to him in the clear light of day, I could see all his glorious features. He wasn’t wearing a ball cap again and even though his hair was cut pretty short I could still tell the color was black. And in the bright sunshine his eyes gleamed like someone had poured mercury into his irises. They were completely mesmerizing.
“Are you calling me fat?” He questioned, pulling my attention away from his eyes. What were we talking about again? “I don’t take to kindly to that. This school has zero tolerance when it comes to bullying—do I need to report you?” He raised one eyebrow at me, and our earlier conversation came rushing back.
I leaned in close, glaring at him from under my lashes. “Tattle tale,” I whispered.
It was so nice to be able to banter with him. It had been so long since I was able to cut loose with someone other than Jessi or her family. Like I said, people back home tiptoed around me. I tried to make everyone more comfortable so they wouldn’t feel the need to do so, but no matter what I did, I never changed anything so I eventually just gave up trying.
Seeing him again reminded me about how he’d rushed off the other night, and I blurted out, “Hey, how are you? You were pretty heated at the bar and then you just took off—I was kind of worried about you.” I could slap myself for divulging that last little bit of information. Sure, it might have been true, but now he was going to run off screaming into the night thinking I was some sort of stalker freak.
“Worried about me, huh?” One side of his mouth pulled up into a sly smile and I watched as a lone dimple sank deep into his cheek. Usually when you think of dimples you think cuteness, but on a man like Kane, they were far from cute—He was the epitome of sex appeal.
I rolled my eyes at his question and stepped around him, continuing on to the cafeteria. I was still very hungry and now I wasn’t going to have a lot of time to eat before my next class began. Kane fell into step with me, but as we reached the doors to the caf, he paused. I turned to look at him, and watched as the smile he had been wearing slowly slid from his face.
“I’m sorry I ran off like I did. It was a dick move.” He rubbed the back of his neck and his gray eyes held mine. “Sometimes I lose hold on my temper. I really don’t like to do that and to do it around a female, well, that’s unforgiveable. My Paw would have my head for it. It was best I just removed myself from the equation. God, I didn’t even make sure you got home safe.”