“So this is what happens right before the portal is about to open…they stop it from happening, by sacrificing their own lives?” my father whispered under his breath as the light dimmed away. He shook his head. “I’m so sorry.”
I gasped at the sight of what remained. The sun shone brightly from the sky and the snow had melted. The lake was no longer blanketed by ice, and it no longer carried the march of hundreds and hundreds of Death Walkers—they had all vanished.
Stephan and Demetrius were nothing more than a pile of ash scattered across the grassy ground. Everything had been burned away with the light, including Alex and I. Our bodies were sprawled on the grass, our fingers intertwined as we lay side by side, our eyes sealed shut, no longer breathing.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as my father stepped toward Alex and me, and reached a hand out, preparing to erase us.
“This is what you erased,” I whispered through my tears. This is what I had to put back. I had to let this happen. Let Alex and me die.
My heart raced in my chest, knowing what I had to do, knowing I had to erase my father before he created a different future; a future where Stephan would win and the world would die a horrible death. But how could I do it? It would basically be like I was killing Alex and myself. That beautiful little talk we had about our future…we didn’t even have a future. How could I place my hand on my father and erase him, when I would be erasing Alex and me right along with him.
I cried harder and harder. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
But as my father’s hand hovered only an inch away from Alex and I, I knew. I had to.
Sobbing hysterically, I reached a trembling hand toward my father, wondering what he was about to create. Would Alex and I have lived?
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered and then I placed my hand on his shoulder. Just like on the beach, I watched my father vanish into nothing, flickering out like a bad TV reception.
Then, I sank to the ground and cried and cried until all the energy drained out of me and I blacked out.
Chapter 31
When I woke up, I was back out the house. But I didn’t open my eyes.
I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face him. I just couldn’t. So, I lay there on the sofa, with my eyes shut, pretending I was passed out, while Aislin, Laylen, and Alex sat around discussing what they should do about my unconscious state.
“She’s still breathing,” Laylen said, worry lacing his tone.
I hated to hear him worry. I knew I should open my eyes so they all knew I was okay, but with that would also come the explaining of what happened. I would have to tell Alex that he and I were going to die in the near future. That what I had changed back was us dying.
“Yeah, she’s breathing,” Alex said in a panicked tone. “But what if she doesn’t wake up…she’s been like this for over an hour. And we don’t know anything about the mapping ball or how it works...I shouldn’t have let her do it.”
An hour. Had I been lying here that long?
“I’m sure she’ll wake up,” Aislin said optimistically, but it was a fake optimism—she was worried along with everyone else.
“Are you?” Alex snapped. “Because the last time I checked, you weren’t a Foreseer and couldn’t see into the future.”
The Future. Don’t cry, Gemma. Don’t cry.
“Alex, calm down, okay,” Laylen said. “I’m sure she’ll be okay. This stuff happens a lot to her and she always ends up okay.”
A pause, and then I felt him beside me.
“Gemma.” Alex’s electric breath feathered against my ear. ”Wake up please.”
His voice ripped at my heart, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I opened my eyes and Alex leaned back as I sat up.
“Oh, thank God.” Aislin pressed her hand to her heart. “You’re okay?”
I nodded, unable to look Alex in the eye.
“So, what happened?” Alex asked, watching me intensely with his bright green eyes. “Were you able to do it?”
I pressed my lips together and stared down at my shoes. I really needed to get some new ones. These ones were starting to get worn out.
Alex placed his hand on my chin and turned my head toward him. “What’s wrong? Were you not able to do it?”
I swallowed hard. “No, I did it. I changed the vision back to what it originally was.”
Excitement filled the air.
Alex smiled, his eyes lighting up more than I had ever seen them, and in a minute, when I told him what would happen, it was going to disappear again. “So everything’s good. The world’s not going to end.” He leaned in for a kiss because he thought he could.
I turned my head away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I pressed my lips together and squeezed my eyes shut, wishing the pain would go away. “We still can’t be together.”
Silence choked the room.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
I took a deep breath and looked over at Aislin and Laylen. “Can you two give us a second. I need to talk to Alex alone.”
Aislin gave me a weird look. I had to look away at the hurt expression on Laylen’s face. I knew what he was thinking; he and I didn’t keep secrets from each other. I was planning on telling him, but I think I needed to tell Alex first.
I waited until they both left the room. I waited until the silence almost drove me mad. I waited for as long as I could.
“You and I can’t be together because...” My voice shook and I choked back the tears. “Because that’s how we save the world. We’re together, you and I kill the star…and we…die along with it.”
The light slipped out of his bright green eyes, just like I thought it would. “That’s what is really supposed to happen?” His voice was flat and unemotional. “That was the original vision?”
I nodded, tears soaking my cheeks. “That’s what’s going to happen.”
Silence ticked by. With every tick of the clock, I felt myself closing in on my end, and I was dragging Alex along with me.
Suddenly, Alex jumped to his feet. “I can’t…” He stormed out of the room and a second later I heard the front door slam shut.
Aislin and Laylen appeared in the doorway.
“What happened?” Aislin asked, glancing at the front door.
I looked at both of them, standing there, worried without even knowing what was going on. So I took a deep breath and told them what happened—what would happen.
Right away, Aislin took off after Alex. Laylen stood frozen in the doorway, his arms folded, his bright blue eyes locked on me like he was afraid that if he looked away I might disappear.
“Are you okay?” I finally asked him.
His eyebrows furrowed down. “You’re asking me if I’m okay?”
I shrugged, sinking back into the couch. “I worry about you.”
He shook his head, astounded by the idea, and sat down on the couch beside me. “So that’s how it’s going to happen?”
I nodded, staring down at the floor. “That’s how it’s going to happen.”
A pause and then he slipped his arm around my shoulder. “Maybe we could fix it…I don’t know…do something .”
I shook my head. “No, there’s nothing we can do. Everything is back to the way it was supposed to be.”
Laylen pulled me against him, and I buried my head into his chest. He let my cry. He let my tears soak his black t-shirt. He stayed silent the whole time.
And that was what I needed for the moment.
After I bawled my eyes out, I asked Laylen to please forgive Aislin because he needed someone. He agreed and then I made a promise to myself that when Aislin returned I would make sure that she kept an eye on Laylen. Even though they both would live, Laylen would still be a vampire, and I knew he would struggle with it. He needed someone to help him, and I could not bear to think that after I was gone, he would have no one.
He will have someone.
I will make sure of that.
It was still light outside, but I went upstairs to take a nap. I was exhausted, both emotionally and mentally. I also wanted to sleep, hoping that I could temporary leave some of the pain behind.
When I shut my bedroom door I heard my mom yell my name from the next room, but I didn’t want to talk to her yet. I would, though, once I pulled myself together.
I clicked on my computer and scanned through my songs, finally deciding on Blink 182’s “All of this.”
“Take me away,” I whispered to the lyrics.
And they did.
Light. Light everywhere.
Alex and I holding onto one another, the lake melting before us.
“Everything will be okay,” Alex whispered in my ear. “I promise it will.”
Light all around me and I could feel myself slipping away, fading away with the star; fading away with Alex.
Ashes covered the ground, the snow lifted away.
“It will be okay.”
I woke up, my eyes so swollen they would barely open. So I just lied there on my bed, trying to figure out what time it was. But then I realized how electric my skin felt and my eyes shot open. I lurched back, nearly falling out of bed as a pair of bright green eyes stared at me.
Alex caught my arm and pulled me back on the bed. “Sorry…I was just…”
“Watching me sleep,” I finished for him.
“It’s not as creepy as it sounds,” he said, still holding onto my arm
“No, it’s pretty creepy,” I tried to joke, but the tone of my voice cracked.
“You don’t have to do that.” He released my arm. “You don’t have to fake that everything’s alright.”
“Don’t I?” I questioned.
He shook his head. “You don’t. Not with me.”
Music still flowed from the speakers. I had set it on repeat, so the same song still played softly in the background.
“So, how does it happen?” he asked rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling.
I rolled onto my back as well and let out a loud breath. “Do you really want to know?”
“I do.”
So I told him, making it sound as lovely and poetic as one can make a death sound.
“It doesn’t sound that bad,” he said, after I finished.
“I guess not.”And deep down, I knew it wasn’t. Being with Alex, while we died…it could have been a lot worse. But it still doesn’t mean I have come to terms with it. I don’t want to die. I don’t want Alex to die. I want us to be together, for real, not just when we are reaching our end.
Alex turned his head toward me, this strange look on his face as he stared at me. “Will you come somewhere with me?”
“I don’t know…” I was hesitant, even though I wanted to.
Just because I knew when we would die, didn’t mean we could just run around together. We had to wait until all the Death Walkers gathered, until Demetrius and Stephan were there, until we could burn away the bad all in one shot, right as the portal was about to open.
“I promise things won’t get too heated,” he said as if he read my mind. “I’ll even promise to keep my hands to myself.”