"I'd go all the way demonic. I'd bite you...stun you. Keep you steady while I come in you."
"Oh." She didn't know if she was horrified or titillated by this information. Again, she was reminded that he was a demon, a different species from her. "Then wouldn't you want me to stay Valkyrie? So I could survive it?" Why would he be helping her reverse the change?
He grew quiet. "Not going to claim you anyway. Know this."
"Why do you know this?"
"Only in my mind."
Seeing he wouldn't reveal more on the subject, she asked, "Were you jealous of my relationship with Tim?"
"Wanted to kill the prick...not good enough for you."
"But you are?"
"Nah...wish I was," he said. "You can do better than a mercenary."
"But aren't you also a prince?"
Chapter 19
He went motionless. "Of a lost crown..." In a derisive tone, he said, "I can put any king on a throne, 'cept for the one I lost."
"What throne did you lose?"
He exhaled a long breath. "Rydstrom's."
Her eyes went wide. "How?"
His voice grew hoarse and even his accent changed when he murmured, "My fault. Mine own doing."
"How could it be your fault?"
"Mistake. The one who controls the castle..."
"What does that mean?"
"They all died."
"Who, Cadeon?" No response. "Does Rydstrom blame you for losing his throne?"
"He does...always has. He should."
Anger flared within her. Had his older brother - the king - been making Cadeon's life miserable for nine hundred years? "Why do you still talk to him? Why live on his property? Why be half of the Woede?"
"Guard the king."
"Yes, yes, but you don't have to forever!"
"...be easier if I just could hate him."
Her previous ire gave way under the weight of sympathy she felt for this male. "You want to hate him?"
"Can't manage to."
"Why?"
"He's m'brother. If he gets hit...I feel it, too. Weird." He tried to give a shrug, then gritted his teeth in pain as his new skin pulled tight. "Holly?"
"I'm right here."
"Proud tonight...my female's brave," he murmured, his breathing deepening.
Holly had been brave - she'd proven her mettle, getting Cadeon and herself to safety.
That didn't mean she ever wanted to have to prove herself like that again. There had been so many close calls. At any given point in that battle, her life could have ended....
He slept now, his broad chest rising and falling steadily. She bit her lip, her gaze falling on his horns.
The temptation proved too great to resist, and she tentatively felt one. It was smooth, and her fingers glided over its length.
When had her wariness over this part of him turned to fascination? She felt a clenching in her stomach when she gazed at him. Want...
No! No want. She didn't trust her emotions or even her thoughts.
She finally dragged herself away to take a shower, but once she was clean and dressed for bed, she was still wide awake. So she straightened the room, then fired up her laptop to map the next checkpoint.
When she was online, she saw Tim was connected as well, though it was midnight in California. She was surprised by how much she longed to talk to him, to have a taste of the normal. I need a fix of normal.
Should she call him this late at conference? As she debated, she thought to herself how lucky she was to have him. Never would she have to worry about hearing another woman in the background or Tim's voice slurring from drunkenness.
That certainty was comforting.
Holly liked certainty. She liked living her life in predictable, regimented hours, backed up by the campus class times. Just thinking about her old life soothed her now.
So far, in the Lore, the only thing certain was that nothing was ever certain. Why would someone like her ever want to join this chaotic, violent world? Much less having to worry about what her child might be like, or if she'd be attacked by demons....
Need - fix. She reached for her cell phone and rang him.
"Holly?" Tim quickly answered. "Is something wrong? I saw you were up, and it's two in Memphis. Is everything all right with your family?"
"Um, good." Liar. Liar. "Everything's working out. How's the conference?"
"It'd be better if you were here."
"Maybe I'll go next time." How difficult could a conference be compared to what she'd done tonight? She'd evaded fire bombs. She'd killed....
"I'd love for you to come with me," he said. "Will you be back in New Orleans by the time I return?"
That depended on where the next checkpoint was. The one based on the coordinates that a ghost had given her. Holly felt like giving a hysterical laugh. Instead, she said, "I'm not sure, but I'll know more tomorrow."
"I noticed that you haven't uploaded anything to the storage drive. Are you blocked?"
She sighed. "Yes. And it's miserable."
"I'm sorry, Holly," Tim said. "I'm here if you need an ear."
"I know. You're always there for me." Reliable, steady Tim.
"You sound...different. Are you sure everything's okay? It seems like something's on your mind."
Actually... "Tim, what would you say if I wanted to work off campus? Maybe get a corporate job after graduation?"
"You know that I'd support you in anything you wanted to do." He hesitated. "It's just that..."
"What?" she asked.
"Sometimes, you don't...do so well, um, off campus."
A nice way of saying that she'd occasionally been incapacitated. "What if I could do better?"
"I'm sure you can do anything you put your mind to. But I also thought you wanted to have kids."
"Well, lots of women work in the corporate world and have kids."
"That's true," he agreed, but for some reason, her ear twitched.
"Do you not think they should?"
"Of course, I do." He sighed. "Holly, it almost sounds like you're spoiling for a fight. Did I do something wrong?"
She pinched her forehead. She was the guilty party here, the one who'd been unfaithful on top of a sports car, and yet she was feeling aggressive and irritable with him.
Even though she recognized this within herself, she still couldn't stop from asking, "Why have you never pushed for us to have sex?" When he began to sputter, she knew her unusual bluntness was throwing him.