Physical lust . . . and bloodlust.
Because he didn’t just remember their failed escape attempt. He remembered being strapped down. Remembered Wyatt shoving needles in his arm and draining his blood. Draining and draining until it had felt as if there was nothing left inside of him. Until Ryder was just a hollow shell. No blood.
After that kind of torture, he should have been no more than a beast. A wild creature that only wanted to feed. That was what Wyatt had wanted him to become.
Ryder backed away from her, retreating until his shoulders hit the wall. Won’t attack her. Can’t.
“I . . . fed you.” Her voice was hushed.
Ryder blinked, not sure he understood.
Sabine lifted her wrist. He could see the narrow slice that cut across the faint line of blue veins. “I fed you while you were asleep. I thought I’d be able to, ah, control you better that way.”
Ryder could only shake his head. That had been too risky. When it came to a starving vampire and feeding, control didn’t exactly apply. And when he was unconscious, anything could have happened. “You remember me this time.”
Her hand dropped. Went back to curl around her knees. “It’s been five days since we tried to get out. My memory—I didn’t lose all of it this time, and what I did lose, yes, it’s back.” Her gaze was stark. “I died again.”
He wanted to touch her, and, despite the blood she’d so generously given to him—I can taste her. There’s a sweetness in my mouth—he wanted to sink his teeth into her delicate neck and drink.
Sabine wasn’t safe with him. She needed to be in another cell. Needed to be far away.
“Wyatt said that sometimes I’ll remember who I am. Sometimes I won’t. If I—if I die enough, he thinks I’ll totally lose myself . . .” He saw her throat move as she swallowed. “Wyatt said—”
“I don’t give a shit what he said!” Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have snarled the words. Her flinch had shame knifing in his gut.
And realizing that, dammit, he was naked, too.
Playing a new game, are you, Wyatt? What, now the guy wanted them to f**k?
Ryder sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm his fury. His gaze flew around the cell. Same room. Same inner pit of hell. But if he was back there, then that meant Wyatt and his cronies had retrieved Jim Thomas. If the guy was still at the facility, then maybe he could use him.
“I think Wyatt wants me to lose myself. To just become the—the phoenix.” Her shoulders were hunched.
“That’s not going to happen.”
Her gaze met his. “Yes, it is.”
She was so beautiful that she made him ache. Beautiful, strong, a creature of myth.
And Wyatt had stripped her and tossed her into a cage with a bloodthirsty monster. All for his twisted science.
Sabine’s voice was husky as she said, “Wyatt told me that I will die, again and again, and rise in the fire . . . rise until the only thing left is a monster that just kills and destroys everyone in its path.”
Wyatt was a talkative bastard, in addition to his million other sins. Heaving out a heavy breath, Ryder walked to her. The chains trailed behind him. He needed more blood in order to be strong enough to break those chains.
“I can’t pretend this isn’t happening. My life . . . everything’s changed.” She shivered and glanced at him. “And you know the worst part?”
Having a na**d vampire standing over you, wanting a bite of you so badly his mouth is watering?
No, she didn’t realize how desperate he was becoming. Maybe he could play the caring role a bit longer. If he was lucky. If she was.
Her eyes squeezed closed. “I’ve been to hell.”
He didn’t speak.
“When I died, I-I remembered this time. The fire is so hot. It surrounds me. Burns and burns and burns and it has to be hell. I go to hell.”
He reached for her arms. Pulled Sabine up to her feet. “No, love, this cage we’re in, that’s hell. And, I swear to you, we will be free.”
She shook her head. “We tried, we—”
He kissed her. His lips brushed over hers, silencing the tangle of her words. He wanted to thrust his tongue deep, to sink into her, but if he pushed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to pull back.
With her, his control was too weak.
So he kept the kiss simple. A bare press of the lips. A soft caress against her mouth.
Just enough to give him a taste.
Just enough to have him hungering for so much more.
Then his head lifted. “Don’t be afraid.”