“Bastard.”
“He said I was uptight and couldn’t get with the program, whatever that meant. He was a professional football player.”
Jack could hear the hurt in Melanie’s voice even though she obviously tried to hide it. “Well, there you go. Cheerleaders, road trips, potential for mischief.”
Her expressive eyes blazed like embers. “And that’s a good reason to propose to me, then betray me?”
“No, it’s not. There’s no reason for that at all. But it wasn’t your fault. The fault was in his character.”
“Neither of them loved me enough not to stray, Jack. That’s a mistake I won’t make again.”
She stared at her hands as she unwrapped the sandwich, and the pangs of sympathy and understanding swelled through Jack. She looked so lost and wounded. He clenched his fists against the urge to take her in his arms and ease the pain she was still feeling.
After a moment Melanie let out a breath and took a bite of her sandwich. “Oh, man, this is great. What’s in it?”
“Something Emeril made on TV.”
Her brows rose, her smile genuine. “You’re turning into something I don’t recognize.”
“I haven’t changed.” His gaze fell on the baby. “Well, maybe a little.”
“How’s it been for you?”
“Scary. Wonderful. Proud. Scary.”
“You said that twice.”
“It’s twice as frightening to know that I’m responsible for someone else’s happiness. At least till she’s eighteen, and by then I’ll have her locked in a tower.”
“Only knights in armor allowed?”
“Yeah,” he said, grinning. “I think of what she’ll look like in a few years, how she’ll think of me.”
“Yeah, me, too,” Melanie said, and they both touched the baby at the same time. His fingers instantly wrapped around hers.
She met his gaze.
“Those other guys were fools. And I bet they’re regretting the hell out of it right now.”
“I doubt it.”
“I’m not them, Melanie.”
“Oh, Jack, I know that,” she said softly, pulling free. “But if you and I got married, we’d be going in with more than roaming libidos against us.”
“You’re insulting me. I’d never do that stuff to you.”
“You don’t love me. That’s the key here, Jack. I loved those men and was willing to overlook faults to be with them. So, don’t tell me that a marriage will make things just magically work out. I’ve got the experience that says they won’t.”
“Other than the fact that those two men were not good enough for you, those were bad choices.”
“And I’m not about to make another one by marrying for a name change.”
“It’s more than a name,” Jack said, grinding his teeth. He wanted to tell her that he was a bastard, that he needed more than anything to give his daughter his name, but from Melanie’s position that would not have made the can-you-top-this list.
But he knew now that she was protecting herself, her heart. He suddenly recalled the night they’d made their daughter.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, she’d told him. I’m not… I can’t put my hopes on a man.
She’d been jilted twice already and didn’t trust her feelings enough to put faith in them. In believing there wasn’t a chance for her and Jack beyond a name on a license, she couldn’t get hurt again. It was bad enough she didn’t trust him not to desert her, and even harder to deal with a woman who didn’t think she had the potential to be worthy of a man’s fidelity.
He wanted to pound those two men into dust for doing this to her.
But she was right in a couple of ways. He didn’t love her. He was honest enough with himself to admit that. But what he felt for Melanie was more than just lust and memories of great sex. Even if Juliana wasn’t between them, he’d have hunted Melanie down. He’d have done it to satisfy his ego that she hadn’t forgotten him and to see if the dreams that had plagued him were just that—dreams. At the rate they were going, she wasn’t going to give him the chance to find out.
And the baby changed everything. Better for him, for Juliana, but for Melanie and him, it had cut short what could have been something special, and Jack didn’t know what to do anymore.
“Melanie?”
She looked up and the tears in her eyes were like gunshots to his heart.
“Honey, talk to me.”
“I can’t screw up your life for a name. Please don’t ask me to. I know it would be better for Juliana, but you and I have to live with the decision and so does she.”