I need her.
I need to lay eyes on her.
My fists clench at my sides as I walk the ancient green carpet with bare feet and a matching soul.
Skin burning with need, I stumble to the shower, turn it on, and leave the temperature cold. Freezing water rolls down my back as I’m burned alive with the memory of her lips, her touch.
I need her.
My cock rises, and I fitfully clutch it in my fist, stroking hard. Eyes burning, I bite my lip until I taste copper. Despair leeches on as I come, long and hard, without feeling an ounce of relief. Stepping out of the shower, I barely towel off before I study my reflection. My tags hang just above my new burn scar. Anger breaches next, and I react, my fist connecting with the mirror. I swing until my knuckles bleed, until the room resembles what’s inside. The shards lying on the floor mirror what’s left of me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Gavin
She pushes the food her mother spent all day cooking around on her plate as she sits at the head of the table. It’s all I can do to keep up a conversation with her father. There’s an edge to her that wasn’t there before, in her posture, as if she’s coiled up and about to bust loose at any moment. It’s expected after all she’s survived, and by the looks of her, I use the term “survived” lightly. She forces a smile as her family talks animatedly around her. It’s the last thing she needs. I served four tours, and I know how comfortable the silence can be, but it’s also dangerous.
It’s a fine line I’m willing to walk with her until she can get her footing, but even the rattling of the dishware has her on edge. Noah rushes through the events of the past few months as she takes her first bite and nods. I try not to stare at her frame, the ill fit of her clothes. And I can’t help but notice the way her eyes dart around the table for our approval.
I’m cutting this night short, even if it pisses them off. They can’t understand what she’s feeling, and I refuse to let the woman who left us four months ago, so vitally alive, turn into a spoil of war. She’s my heart’s home, and all I want to do at the moment is protect her from her own family. Katy’s always been patient with me when I returned home from a tour a little lost inside myself, and I’ll be that same partner for her, no matter how fucking long it takes. As if she’s reading my thoughts, she glances my way, and I take a sip of my beer.
Noah pats her leg to get her attention, and she jerks at the touch. The whole table sounds with the shift of the plates as Noah jumps back, horrified.
“Oh, baby, it’s okay, you just surprised me,” Katy says with regret. He frowns, a tell that he doesn’t believe her and doesn’t know what to make of it. His face falls, and hers follows suit.
And that’s the moment I call hummingbird.
“We should call it a night. I think we can all agree it’s been a long day.” In minutes, the table is cleared off, and Katy’s at our front door hugging Sammy, who looks back at me with silent orders. Nodding, I wish her a good night. Once the door is shut, I see visible relief with the sag of Katy’s shoulders as she turns to me for guidance.
“How about a bath?”
Apprehension crosses her features, but she answers. “Sounds perfect.”
“I’ll get that started, if you want to tuck Noah in.”
She nods, and I can feel her watching my back as I climb the stairs. I feel like I’m fucking it up already, and she’s only been home a few hours. Guilt wracks me as I realize I should’ve refused the company today, regardless of their rights to her. I run the bath and pour in the fresh salts I bought as Noah lists off all the things he has planned for the two of them tomorrow. I’m at a loss as to how to explain to him that she might not be up for it. But I have to leave it up to her.
It’s the finest of lines.
All the questions I’m dying to ask will have to wait.
She came to me once before, and I have to believe she’ll do it again.
Lifting the back of her T-shirt as the fireworks explode above us, I kiss the small of her back. Breathless, she whispers my name as I press my lips to her delicate skin. I love that spot on a woman, and this woman has been driving me out of my fucking mind since the minute she picked me up at the bar. By our third date, I was a fucking fool in love. Where she led, I would follow, but not without just cause. It was the way she kissed me—not only with her lips, but with her whole being. I’d never felt so much strength in a kiss. She branded me with the first, and I’ve been stealing them ever since. For the last month of my life, I’ve done nothing but dream of her lips, her smile, her skin, her touch.
Wide eyes meet mine over her shoulder as I continue to rain kisses on my sweet spot.
“There are people around.”
“I don’t see anyone but you, baby,” I whisper as I part my lips, tasting her skin.
“Gavin,” she whimpers. The sound has my cock throbbing in my shorts. “That’s the cheesiest line yet.”
Red and blue explode in a glittery fire above us as I pull her back to my front and cover our laps with the blanket. My lips are a breath away from the shell of her ear as I lean down, and she tilts her head so I have better access to her slender neck.
“Like the show?”
“Mmm,” she murmurs before I latch my lips on her pulse point. My eager fingers circle her waist as I unhook the button to her shorts and drag the zipper down. She freezes where she sits in my arms, and I halt all movement until she sinks into me. Dipping my fingers into her panties, I find her soaked as she turns her head to watch my reaction.
“I’m so fucking hard for you.” Our lips are touching as I speak, but I can’t bring myself to kiss her and miss the heat in her eyes. She wants it as much as I do, and without a fuck to give, I do my best to make her come while surrounded by a lawn full of patriots whose eyes are trained on the sky. We’re safe enough, under the cover of a tree, but it’s risky enough to make it so much fucking better. I dip my fingers in her warmth and bring them up to circle her clit. She hisses through her teeth as she stares back at me, entranced.
“You want to come, baby?”
“Never have, but it sounds nice.”
“What?”
She presses a gentle kiss to my lips before she answers. “You’re the first man to touch me this way.”
I freeze, my head in the clouds as I realize she’s telling the truth. I’m the man in her life. This is an honor she’s giving me, and I’m fucking it up by letting my dick lead. I move to pull my hand away, and she stops me. “I’m going to need you to keep doing that.”
I can’t help my smirk.
“There’s not a damn thing funny about this, Captain.”
This time I chuckle as she captures my lips between her teeth and sinks them in. Sparks above filter down below as I kiss her like a man possessed. My fingers resume their pace as she pants against my lips.
“God, Jesus, oh—”
“Shhh,” I whisper, glancing around us.
When she braces against my frame and bucks her hips, gaining her friction, I damn near lose my shit. She’s perfect in every way. As soon as I feel her body start to quake, I capture her moan with my mouth. Her body shudders with sweet release as I kiss her in the way she kisses me, with everything I have. Her eyes are closed as she lays slack against me, her breath evening out.
“I think I might just be in love with you.”
My heart soars as I look down to see her watching me.
“You just love my talented fingers.”
“No,” she whispers. “No. It’s you, Gavin.”
I’m the man she chose, for whatever reason, and I’ve never taken it for granted, not once. When she enters the bedroom, she finds me darkening the doorway of the bathroom. I immediately step out.
“It’s all yours.”
She’s hesitating. She knows I’d give anything to bridge the gap, but I refuse to make her feel guilty for it. She walks over to our chest of drawers and retrieves a long T-shirt and some boy shorts as I pull back the covers and pick up my book. I hear her whisper when she sees the set up I left for her, right before the door clicks.
“Thank you.”
More pleasantries.