With no warning, he pulled out and slammed back inside me. A ragged grunt exploded from his throat as he drove fast and deep.
My heart burst with feeling. There wasn’t anything sweet about this, but despite his rules of no touching, looking, or any connection whatsoever, he couldn’t stop the sublime way our bodies moved. The perfect synchronicity of pace and pressure.
The second he’d thrust inside, we’d locked together like two out of place beings who found their true home. No words could ever dispel the certainty of that.
I cried out as he drove deeper. “Fuck, you look so good with my cock inside you.”
My stomach flipped and I grasped the sheet to propel myself backward to meet his speed. “More,” I moaned.
Decorum didn’t exist in the room. Civilization and conversation were moot points as Kill lost himself and fucked me.
There was no way to explain the frantic way he clutched my hips—diving into my wet heat as if he was born to take me. He fucked me as if I would disappear. He fucked me as if he couldn’t stand himself. Self-hatred oozed from him with every perfectly driven thrust.
“Fuck. Why do you have to feel so fucking good?” The curses dripped from his lips.
I relished in anguish, knowing he must feel something and it was killing him to be unfaithful to the memory of his ghost girl.
But he had to move on.
I’ll help you move on.
His fingernails dug into my flesh as he brought me back, slamming against him as he thrust harder and faster.
“Shit,” he gasped. “Goddammit, you feel fucking amazing.”
“Oh, baby, you feel so amazing.”
I smiled with tight lips and stared at the ceiling as I rode out the pain of losing my virginity. I refused to look into his sweet brown eyes.
He pressed butterfly kisses all over my brow. “I’m so happy we’re each other’s first. So special. I’ll always remember you.”
I nodded and kissed him back and moved my hips and moaned as he thrust for a few seconds then came.
I stroked his back and kissed his flushed cheeks and lay silently below him.
All the while I screamed inside. I cried with dry eyes for another.
The flashback came and went, so full of emotion and heartache, I choked on a sob. I couldn’t contain the pain. The boy who’d taken my innocence had been so tender, so kind, so in love with me.
Yet I’d felt endlessly trapped.
He wasn’t him.
But here… with a man I didn’t know driving into me with reckless uncaring, I felt… free.
Free from a past shrouded deep in my brain. Free from wrong decisions. I was unshackled and taken and possessed.
I loved it.
My lips parted as I breathed hard, my knees digging into the covers as Killian rocked viciously. He was the opposite of caring, the polar eclipse of gentle, yet he made my heart spread its atrophied wings and fly.
“Yes,” I moaned. “Don’t stop.”
His hot balls slapped against my clit as he rode me harder and faster than I thought possible.
“Shut up,” he growled, slapping an open palm against my ass. The punishment sent my blood arching to the surface of my skin, making everything blister in intensity.
I wanted more. I wanted to be alive.
“Arthur…” I looked over my shoulder. The image of his tight eyes and pleasure-flushed face sent another clench through my core.
“Shit, you don’t learn.” His large hand came down, clamping around my neck, forcing my face away and my eyes to focus on the plain wall. “My name is not yours to use. Shut the fuck up while I take you.”
Why?
Because you don’t like to be reminded that you’re human? A man who needs companionship?
He groaned in a mixture of guilt and bliss. My stomach twisted and another orgasm sparked as he drove upward, hitting my G-spot.
Not letting go of my neck, he grunted as he thrust again and again. I squirmed beneath his grip to look at him. I wanted to see this animal consuming me.
But his fingers tightened around my nape, pressing my cheek harder into the bed. “Don’t look. Don’t fucking look at me with her eyes.”
My heart broke as his voice cracked. The pain inside, the misery—it was all wrapped up in anger and rage. My eyes fluttered as a throb in my core took me completely by surprise. Yes, he was demanding and stripped me of dignity, but at the same time he’d given me himself to pleasure and please.
The fierce, slightly unstable Arthur Killian became a simple-minded creature. He surrendered to me completely as I wriggled my hips and lavished the feeling of being taken. The heat of his flesh scalded my thighs; the rush of his breath tickled my back.
I wanted him to come. I wanted his release. I wanted to have that power.
He panted in time with his thrusts. His hand on my neck pushed harder, forcing me to take more and more. My eyes watered as he took me to heights I’d never explored.
Suddenly, he bent over me, pressing his body along the length of mine.
I barely had time to suck in a breath when he thrust harder from behind, gliding deep and fast. I was so turned on. Soaking for his violence.
His large hand spanned my hip, while the hand on the back of my neck never stopped gripping me. He half throttled me from behind as he fucked me hard, so damn hard. And ruthless, so damn ruthless.
It was the hardest I’d ever taken—at least I thought it was—but he still held something back. Still didn’t give me his all. I jerked my hips, encouraging him to go deeper. I wanted to come again. I wanted to own his pleasure.