My mind came up blank. It was as if my family was now free from the net that captured my mind, but the rest—it was still trapped, still squirming and trying to escape.
He let me go, his large hand falling to my hip. “Look. See for yourself.”
I glanced down at the pyramid of numbers inked into my skin. I remembered the night I’d woken at some ungodly hour and scribbled the equation down before it escaped from my dreams. But I still couldn’t remember how I recalled it or what it meant. It tugged so hard inside with a hidden message that I’d given it to the artist to place on my skin so I would never forget.
My heart twitched as Kill traced the pattern: I
“Do you know what it means?” he murmured. “Do you remember?”
I shook my head, wishing I could. “No.”
He smiled. “It’s the perfect mathematical proof that love exists, written in numbers. You had your words and poems, I had this. And I finally found a way to say I love you.”
I couldn’t say a word.
“I’ve loved you for most of my life, and then you were… gone. I don’t know what you’ve been through and I don’t know the woman you’ve become because of it, but I do know I’ll never be able to stop it. Never be able to ignore…” His face twisted and he growled, “I’m not going to fight it anymore. Too fucking long I’ve been fighting and I’m done.”
“Fighting what?”
“Emotion. The highs and lows of life. I’ve lived with revenge for so long, but you brought light back into my black world.”
I bit my lip, suffering an explosion of happiness in my heart.
Kill continued, “There’s so much to tell you. So much you don’t know. You have no fucking idea how my life was. Everything I ever wanted was torn away from me and it terrifies me to think it will happen again.”
“It won’t.”
“You’re right. It won’t. Not this time. This time I’m keeping you safe and never letting you out of my sight until those motherfuckers pay.”
My heart raced. My gasp was loud in the silent room.
Leaning close, he breathed, “Does that scare you?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Well, it should.”
“I understand you carry things inside. Dark things—painful things. Tell me. What happened to you?”
His eyes lost the burning intensity, hazing with lust. “Later.”
I swallowed as he cupped my cheek and whispered a thumb over my lips. “I’ll tell you everything… but first, I need to touch you. I need to make sure this is real.”
A small smile twisted my lips. “I am real. I’m yours. You’re mine. Just like we said all those years ago.”
He sucked in a breath, his chest rising sharply. “God, I’ve missed you.”
His hand slipped from my cheek to the base of my skull. His eyes tore into me, welding his soul to mine. “Every night I dreamed of kissing you.” His gaze dropped to my lips. I didn’t have time to gasp or enjoy the blissful anticipation of being kissed before his mouth crushed against mine.
My body melted against his, becoming one with his passion and heat. His arms wrapped around me, his heart thundering. I snuggled closer.
His lips were silk and sandpaper all at once. His tongue smooth and stealing. I opened wider, deepening the kiss until staying alive meant breaking our connection and breathing, and I never wanted to do that.
Suicide by kiss—death by lover’s embrace—that was my choice.
Kill never stopped kissing me, never stopped touching.
My fingers itched to trace his muscles, to stroke and calm.
I paused.
He doesn’t let any woman touch him.
He sensed my trepidation, breaking our kiss to look into my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I laughed self-consciously. “Can I—um, can I touch you?”
His gaze flared and the tender look on his face undid me. “Cleo, touch me. Only you have ever had that privilege. I’ve been dying for so many years to have your fingers on me again.” His voice thickened. “I was prepared to spend the rest of my life without touching, knowing you were dead. I was broken… a man who couldn’t tolerate the touch of another.” He chuckled softly. “Every time I craved companionship enough to seek out a woman, I ended up almost killing her for not being you. I was screwed up, Cleo. A fucking mess.”
Oh God.
My heart burst as his mouth reclaimed mine, stealing my reply. My hands splayed on his back, caressing every inch I could reach.
He shifted, bringing me close to his body and wedging the hard heat of his cock against my exposed hipbone. He rocked once, twice, sending a delicious sensation of need through my belly to my core. My nipples tightened as his heart galloped against my side.
Every inch of me screamed for attention. Sensitivity was both a blessing and a curse as I grew wet from his kisses.
This wasn’t like before. This was more. So, so much more.
His fingers fell to my breast, squeezing once before bowing his head and sucking my nipple.
My eyes closed; lust swarmed my system.
I squirmed as his hot tongue swirled with a delicious combination of sucking and teasing. He murmured against my skin, “I wanted you so much back then. I was a stupid fool to deny you.”
I moaned, grabbing his hair and shivering in bliss as I sank my fingernails into the thick, long strands. “Maybe if you knew what I tasted like, you would’ve recognized me when you first took me.”