It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders now that she finally knew how I felt. She was just staring at me like I had grown a second head, so I let go of her hands and pushed myself off her, sitting up on the bed next to her, feeling the panic brew inside me because her silence started to become deafening.
~ Anna ~
Stunned into silence was probably the phrase that would best describe me in that second. I had no words. Had he seriously just told me that he loved me? Me, messed up, damaged, broken Annabelle Spencer? Someone like Ashton couldn’t love me, could he? What on earth would he even see in me? Ashton was a player; he didn’t love girls… did he? My heart constricted. I wanted so badly for that to be true. I’d dreamt of him saying those words to me hundreds of times. Never, in any of my dreams, had they sounded so sweet.
He pushed himself up off me as he stared down at me, seeming to be gauging my reaction. His emerald green eyes were searching my face. They shone with tenderness and passion, and the sight of it made my heart ache. Could it be? Could someone as sweet, adorable, smart and funny, really want me?
My body seemed to belong to someone else, my limbs were not responding as I struggled to take in and believe his confession. It took a great deal of effort for me to push myself up to sitting too. His face was merely inches away from mine as his eyes narrowed, silently begging me to speak.
“You love me?” I whispered disbelievingly.
He nodded. “Yeah, I love you,” he confirmed. That was when I saw it in his eyes, the truth, the depth of his feelings, the devotion. Suddenly it all made sense, his actions, his attentiveness, his affection. He wanted me. A sad smile twitched at the corner of his full lips. “It’s okay; I know you’re scared to let me in, Anna. After what happened with Jack, I know you need time before you can make yourself vulnerable again. I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes,” he whispered, looking at me fiercely.
My heart melted into a puddle in my chest. My muscles seemed to unfreeze, so I bent forward and pressed my lips to his, knowing that nothing I could say would explain it better than that. He didn’t kiss me back though; he just stayed still as if shocked. When I pulled back, I looked up into his eyes, and I saw my whole future there.
“I love you too, Ashton,” I whispered. Air rushed out of his lungs, blowing across my face in one large burst. His eyes widened in shock as his whole body stiffened. “I’ve known it for a while but I didn’t really know how to deal with it, and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t think that you felt the same.”
He groaned, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against mine. “Really?”
I laughed nervously and nodded. “Yeah.”
His hands cupped around my face as he tilted my head slightly. His eyes met mine. “Let’s try this again then, huh?” he whispered. His lips brushed mine when he spoke and my skin prickled with excitement. “I love you,” he repeated, grinning.
I grinned. “I love you too,” I replied immediately, feeling my heart skip a beat.
His lips crashed against mine forcefully; kissing me so fiercely that it was like he was unleashing all of his passion in one go. My arms looped around his neck and we fell back into the pillows, not breaking the kiss. His love for me resonated through every cell in my body, overwhelming me, consuming me, owning me. When the kiss broke, I was breathless. His eyes glittered with excitement and joy as he grinned down at me.
“Sorry, I need to hear it again,” he stated, looking at me hopefully.
I giggled wickedly, tangling my hand into the back of his hair. “Wow, you’re needy.”
He laughed and kissed me again, making my world spin faster. Little kisses were planted across my cheek. “I love you, Annabelle Spencer,” he purred in my ear. My whole body tingled as I gripped his h*ps between my knees, pulling him closer, needing him closer. I pressed my hand against the small of his back, pinning him against me. There was no way I was letting go now.
“I love you so much, Ashton,” I promised. If he knew how much, I would be in serious trouble. I had a feeling he could do anything and I would still take him back. He had my heart; I just prayed he wouldn’t break it. He smiled and let out a victorious growl as he crashed his lips back to mine, kissing me fiercely, setting my whole body on fire. I needed him. I needed that closeness, that intimacy that I only ever had with him. “Make love to me,” I begged, running my hands down his back, clutching him closer to me.
Raw desire was almost killing me. He moaned and started to peel my clothes off, slowly, trailing his fingers over my body, making me shiver. I smiled against his lips, and he pulled back and smiled too, his green eyes shining with excitement and lust, and most importantly, love.
Everything was slow, tender, perfect. Every touch filled with love, need and want. It wasn’t sex, we were making love, and we both knew it. Everything was beautiful and all consuming. He completed me, this boy. He was my life and the very thing I needed. The passion brought tears to my eyes because it was so perfect. After, I held him close on top of me as we both struggled to breathe. I was exhausted, not just from the physical exertion but from the feeling and the emotions that went into it.
He loves me…
He was kissing my neck as I combed my finger through the back of his hair, smiling contentedly.
He loves me…He really loves me. I still couldn’t quite get my head around it.
After a few minutes he shifted off me, lying down at my side and brushing my hair from my sweaty forehead. He kissed me gently, just once, a soft, chaste kiss, before propping his head up on his elbow and just smiling down at me. Neither of us spoke, it was just the perfect moment, and I didn’t ever want it to end.
After an eternity of comfortable silence, he spoke, “I want to ask you something,” he whispered.
“Oh yeah, what’s that?” I asked, smiling, feeling happier than I had ever felt in my life.
“Will you be my girlfriend? Like, for real? Be with me, be mine,” he asked, looking at me hopefully.
Mine. That word had never had much meaning in it before, but hearing Ashton asking me to be ‘mine’, I knew I would never hear that word the same again. “Of course I will.”
“I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend in the world,” he replied, looking at me tenderly.
I had no doubt in my mind about that. “You already are.”
He smiled and kissed me again. “I love you, Baby Girl.”
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of those words from his mouth; they were the sexiest damn words in the history of the world. I could feel him starting to get aroused again against my thigh, and I felt the blush creep onto my cheeks. He was like some kind of machine.
“Well, I love you back,” I said playfully as I rolled him under me and kissed him, starting all over again.
Chapter Forty-Three
For two full days and nights, I felt like I was walking on air. They describe being in love like being on cloud nine, but to me, it felt almost like twelve or thirteen at least. But, of course, something had to come along and ruin it. It was as if the universe refused to allow me to be happy. Maybe I didn’t deserve to be happy, just like I always thought. Ashton and I had barely left the apartment for two days since we first made the L-word confession. At my request, we’d skipped school and it wasn’t only because we were too wrapped up in exploring each other’s bodies, though that certainly was a part of it, but it was also because of the trial. I didn’t want to go anywhere in case I was called up suddenly and had to jump on a flight to go and give my evidence. The trial weighed on us both, casting a shadow over everything that should be wonderful and full of roses. It seemed that Carter still had a way of ruining my life, even without knowing he was doing it.
On the third morning, we didn’t even bother setting an alarm. It surprised me when I woke to the sound of Ashton’s cell phone ringing loudly from the bedside unit. I nudged him with my elbow as I eyed the alarm clock, seeing that it was half past ten in the morning.
He let out a loud, sleep-filled groan as he pushed himself up off me and fumbled for his phone. I rolled over to face him, feeling the smile creep onto my face because he just looked so mouth-wateringly gorgeous in the morning. Knowing that the boy was mine literally made my heart pick up in double-time.
“Hello?” he muttered into the phone, running a hand through his messed up, I-had-a-lot-of-mind-blowing-sex-last-night hair. His eyes immediately widened as the muscles in his shoulders tightened. He practically jumped out of the bed, pulling on yesterday’s jeans. “Yes, sir,” he said, zipping them up with one hand. His eyes flicked to me. “No, she’s right here. Yeah okay, one moment, sir,” He pulled the phone away from his ear, frowning. “It’s your father, Anna. He wants me to put the call on speaker so he can talk to both of us,” Ashton explained, fiddling with his phone.
My mouth popped open, immediately knowing what this would be about. Somehow, he had found out that Ashton and I were together. He was probably calling to express his displeasure and to tell us to cease the relationship and for Ashton to pack his bags. My back stiffened at the thought. There was no way I was allowing my father to send him away from me.
Ashton set the phone on the bed. “Okay, sir, go ahead.”
I glared down at the phone challengingly, waiting for him to say the words and for us to start the almighty argument that I knew would come once he tried to split us up. My dad cleared his throat. “Okay well, I have some news, I’ve just heard, it’s literally just happened,” he said, uncharacteristically stumbling over his words.
“What, Dad? Spit it out,” I instructed, already exasperated with all of this pussyfooting around. Yes, it was probably wrong for Ashton and I to be involved because he was my guard, yes, we had probably gone about this the wrong way, but hadn’t my parents been telling me to let go of Jack and be happy for the last three and a half years?
He sucked in a ragged breath before he spoke the words that I had never expected to hear in my life. “I’ve just been informed by the court that they’ve had to release Carter Thomas.”