“You like them?” he asked, looking a little unsure. “You can change them if you want to. Don’t say you like them if you don’t, I mean, I’m not good at picking out jewellery or anything. You probably hate them.”
I put my hand out, covering his mouth to stop any more ridiculous words tumbling out. “Thank you. I love them,” I whispered. The word didn’t even cover how much I was in love with the earrings.
He smiled against my hand. “You’re welcome,” he mumbled through my hand, his voice muffled.
I sighed happily and swung my legs out of bed. “I’m going to put these in,” I stated, unable to take my eyes from the little green stones nestled in the cream folds of silk.
“Hey, I thought I was doing sinful things to your body with my tongue!” he called as I walked out of the room towards the bedroom.
I grinned over my shoulder. “Hold that thought for two minutes while I put on my gift, and then maybe I’ll let my tongue do sinful things to your body too, to show you how grateful I am.”
That day was the most magical, lazy Christmas I’d ever had. Ashton and I lay on the beach in a hammock, listening to my iPod, sipping cocktails. It was pure perfection.
Unfortunately, our time in paradise seemed to whizz past all too quickly. On our last day, my heart sank with every item of clothing I packed into the suitcases. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back to reality or back to our friends. The most special thing about being here with him wasn’t the view or the sea, or even the whirlpool bath with the one way glass wall that looked out over the never-ending ocean. No, it was the fact that I had Ashton Taylor all to myself, and his undivided attention. Here, I could love him without the pressure or the barriers, but once we went home again, that would have to change. I couldn’t let this carry on. I couldn’t build my life around him any more than I already did. I couldn’t allow him any closer.
Of course, I was hoping that once his assignment was finished, he’d want to remain friends, talk on the phone, maybe visit occasionally. I already had a secret fantasy where I finished my college course and moved to LA to get a job, and then I could hang out with him and Nate all the time. The only trouble with that idea was that maybe he’d already be taken by then. Maybe I’d have to watch him play house with some other girl and spoil her rotten with his little romantic gestures that make my heart ache. The thought of him with another girl brought tears to my eyes.
The vacation was the best thing that ever happened to me, but in a way it was also the worst too. If we’d never come here then maybe I never would have realised my love for him. Maybe I would be staggering along in blissful denial, and then I wouldn’t be feeling like this inside. Life was so much easier when I had nothing to lose. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to force him out of my heart, and that terrified me because he could be taken from me at any minute and I would be powerless to shield myself from the pain and devastation. The pain doubled in my chest and I sniffed and wiped my teary face, taking a few calming breaths, knowing I was now going to have to have that painful and awkward conversation with him.
~ Ashton ~
Anna had been quiet all morning. Distant. It scared me. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, but something told me it was best to let her work it out. She liked to be in control and do things for herself. If she needed to talk to me or ask for help, she would.
“I’m gonna go shower, Baby Girl, then I’ll help you pack, okay?” I suggested, wanting to give her a little space.
“Sure, I’ll make a start,” she replied, turning her back on me. The disappointment that settled in the pit of my stomach made me feel nauseous. I made my way to the bathroom, shrugging out of my clothes and tossing them carelessly onto the side as I switched on the water. The spray pounded down onto my shoulders as I looked out over the ocean. I would definitely bring her back here one day as I’d promised. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of going home, back to normality, school and far guards, so I didn’t even hear her come into the room.
“Hi, got room for one more?”
My heart leapt in my chest. I turned to see her standing in the doorway, naked. Her glorious body made my mouth water, but her face made my heart stop. She’d been crying. Her eyes were red, but she was faking a smile to cover whatever she was feeling.
I held out a hand to her and nodded. “Definitely.”
As her hand closed over mine, allowing me to help her into the shower, I looked over her face worriedly. The hurt and sadness was easy to see. When her big, brown eyes met mine, the tenderness I could see there made my heart race. I could see in her eyes that she loved me, she was scared, but she loved me. I knew it now, even if she didn’t.
Her eyes filled with tears as she reached out a hand and traced her fingertips across my chest. She pulled my face down to hers. I kissed her desperately, showing her how much I loved her, wanted her and needed her. She kissed me back with the same intensity; the kiss was so sweet it was almost too much to bear.
Every time I had been with her was incredible, but this was simply mind-blowing, it was more than sex, it was everything to me, so tender and perfect. It was as if she touched every part of my body, mind and soul, and I knew that I would want her and only her, forever. There was no doubt in my mind that we were made for each other.
I didn’t ask her what happened now, or why it happened. I didn’t need a label or anything this time. I knew she loved me, so I could give her all the time in the world to realise it.
It didn’t matter that she was about to tell me this was a mistake, that it couldn’t happen again and that things would go back to normal once we were home. I knew she was trying to let me in, she was trying to let herself love me and that was a gargantuan step for her. Even if I had to wait forever for her to realise that she loved me, I would always be grateful for this vacation. I’d got to make her blissfully happy for two weeks and that would see me through a lifetime full of hurt.
After we’d made love in the shower, I held her in my arms, not wanting to let go.
“We’d better go pack,” she said quietly after a few minutes of silence. I nodded, not wanting to make this any harder for her because she was obviously struggling with the fact that she had feelings for me. I could see how torn she was inside, and her internal conflict made my heart ache. “Ashton, when we get home…” she trailed off, looking at her feet as she wrapped the towel around herself.
“Yeah, I know, you don’t need to say it,” I said honestly. I could tell by her face what she was going to say, and that was fine, she needed time after what she’d been through.
She looked up at me, her eyes full of sorrow. “Okay good. Let’s go pack then, we need to leave in an hour or so, right?” she replied, changing the subject.
“Yeah we need to be at the boat in an hour and twenty minutes,” I confirmed, looking at my watch. She turned her back on me and walked out of the bathroom. Once I was alone, I closed my eyes and prayed with all my heart that she was strong enough to let herself love me. I’d wait as long as it took.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
~ Anna ~
I felt slightly awkward after the talk, or I should really call it the ‘non-talk’ because he knew what I was going to say before I opened my mouth. Frankly, I was grateful, because saying the words would have felt like cutting my heart out. We fell back into the usual friendly routine pretty easily as we packed and joked around and he seemed to snap his business head back on as soon as we stepped out of the villa with our luggage. He was making sure I was close to his side and moving me so I was half a step behind him. The chilled and relaxed version of the bodyguard was completely gone now. I missed him already.
The flight was good. Long, but good. After hours and hours of doing nothing on a plane, we finally touched down. The stewardess came up to us immediately. “Excuse me, sir, I have Dean Michaels on the phone for you,” she said to Ashton, leaning closer to him than necessary and putting her hand on his shoulder. I tried my hardest not to get jealous, but I just couldn’t help it.
“Stay right there, Anna,” he instructed, looking at me sternly. I fought a smile; he really was sexy when he was all bossy like that. I nodded and he hurried off to the front wall of the plane, not taking his eyes from me once as he spoke quietly on the phone. He pulled out his cell from his pocket and looked at it, frowning. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he looked worried and slightly annoyed. After a minute or so he came over to me, his eyes tight with stress. “Right, Baby Girl, there are some reporters waiting for us just outside arrivals. Apparently, the paparazzi found out where we were staying, and somehow they’ve gotten hold of some photos of us on the beach,” he explained, watching me as if I was about to go into meltdown.
“Okay, and?” I prompted, waiting for him to continue. There had to be more, this wasn’t enough for him to look this troubled.
He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “They know about the names we booked in under, and there have been a couple of stories in the papers today about our secret wedding,” he stated uncomfortably. “I’m sorry we’ve only just found out but my cell’s not working,” he said apologetically.
I gulped as every hair on my body stood on end. My mind was whirling a mile a minute. The air in the cabin seemed to be getting thicker as I looked at Ashton with wide eyes. “Why would they even print that? It’s not true! They can’t print stuff that’s not true!”
He sighed and cupped my cheek gently. “I don’t know, Anna. They’re paid to sell papers, that’s all. Everything’s fine. We’ll get all of this sorted out. All we need to do is show them we’re not wearing wedding rings,” he smiled reassuringly as he took my hand. “Dean and Peter are meeting us at the gate. Our bags will be collected after, so all we need to do is get to the car. Apparently there are a lot of reporters.”
I nodded in acknowledgment, trying not to worry as he led me out of the plane. As soon as we stepped out of the exit tunnel and into the arrivals lounge, Dean and Peter strutted over to us quickly. Both of them were wearing a professional black suit and white shirt, and looked every inch of secret service agents.