“What do you need Kate?”
“I called to wish you happy birthday,” I reply, trying to control the tremor in my voice. I had this delusion in my head that he might be at least a little happy to hear from me, but he sounds anything but.
“Thanks,” he sighs, letting his voice trail off.
“What have you been up to?” I ask, trying to pull him back to a place that used to be normal for us.
“Just a minute.” I wait, listening to his footsteps on the other end of the line. “I have to take this call. I’ll be out in just a few minutes, Jess.” His voice is muffled, but I can still make out every word.
“Who are you talking to?” I ask before I realize the words have even come out of my mouth.
I hear him let out a deep breath through the phone. “Jessica.”
“Is she a friend?” I don’t know why it matters to me. It shouldn’t matter to me.
“Something like that,” he says quietly, like he’s scared for me to hear it. A part of me wants to know more, but the other part of me would rather live in oblivion. Beau is free to do whatever he wants. I have Asher now.
At least I hope I still do.
“How is everything going at U of I?” I ask, desperate to change the subject.
“It’s fine,” he says, sounding like he’d rather be anywhere than on the phone with me.
I wait for him to add something else, but he never does. “Is this how things are going to be between us now? I miss you.”
“I—”
“Beau, are you about ready to go? We have reservations at seven.” A sweet, cheery female voice yells, sounding closer with every word. This is definitely one of the worst days of my life. Why does it feel like everything is falling apart?
“I’ll let you go. It was nice hearing your voice,” I say, trying to control my emotions.
“Kate, wait—”
“That’s the one and only Kate? Tell her Jessica says hi,” the sugary sweet voice breathes as she begins making a kissing sound into the receiver.
I hang up. I can’t listen to any more. I deserve it . . . I knew Beau loved me and I made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to have him in my life again, but it doesn’t sound like he’s ready to move forward with our friendship.
After revisiting the events of the day over and over in my head, I’m able to calm myself down. Asher just needed space this morning, and I guess Beau needs it too. That’s all it is. I start the shower and grab a towel from the hallway closet before stepping in and letting the warm water spray over my body.
All I can do is wait and see what tomorrow brings.
Chapter 19
I DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING FROM Asher last night, but I hadn’t tried to reach him either. It’s the first evening we’ve spent apart for weeks and I hated every minute of it, especially after spending the whole night before wrapped in his arms.
I thought about calling in sick and running to his house to talk to him, but something held me back. I’m going to try to be patient and see how well it pays off.
I clock in, noticing my mom standing near the door to the dining room eyeing me with a concerned expression on her face. Maybe I should have called in sick and spent the day wrapped under the quilt in my all-too-familiar room. I don’t want any pity today.
“Are you feeling better this morning?” she asks, walking in my direction.
“I’m fine. I think I just needed some sleep,” I reply, tying my apron around my waist.
She narrows her eyes at me. “If you need to talk about anything, I’m always here for you,” she says, squeezing my shoulder.
I nod. “Thanks, Mom.”
She gives my shoulder one more squeeze before disappearing into the dining room. I wonder if she ever sees me as a disappointment; her daughter with so much potential who held herself back in this small town to waitress instead of going to college. Knowing her, she’s probably resigned to letting me find my own way. One day, I might wake up with a dream that’s bigger than this.
I serve table after table, feeling like that girl who used to work here before she was swept off her feet by Asher Hunt. It’s stupid really, and I realize that when a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed guy walks in with a sexy, knowing smirk on his face. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his faded blue jeans. The second our eyes lock, he starts moving in my direction, the smile falling off his face.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, running his thumb across my forehead.
I blink away the shock that he’s actually standing in front of me. “Nothing, I just didn’t expect to see you today. I was worried.”
“About yesterday . . .” he starts before I place my finger over his lips.
“Not here. Can we talk after I get off work?”
He looks around, lifting his eyebrows as he scans the packed diner. “I guess you are kind of busy right now. Can I come over after your shift?”
“Yes, you know when I’m off.” I smile, teasing him about his stalker tendencies. “Do you want something to eat while you’re here? You haven’t had a milkshake in a while.”
“No, I’m going to head back home, but I wanted to leave you with this,” he says, reaching into the pocket of his black, puffy coat and pulling out a folded napkin. “I’ll see you later.” He kisses my cheek and stuffs the napkin into my apron pocket before walking out almost as fast as he arrived.
I grin and find that I have an extra bounce in my step as I finish my shift. I’d give anything for it to be a slow day so that I could go home early and wrap myself around the man I’ve fallen head over heels for.
After the last table in my section leaves, I complete the task of rolling the silverware and punch out. As I’m getting into my car, the white napkin Asher handed me earlier falls out of my pocket, landing at my feet. I’d forgotten about it, but now that it’s in front of me, I can’t stop myself from opening it.
The snow started to fall earlier today as the start of a winter storm moved in. These kinds of days make me want to throw my sweats on and curl up on the couch with hot chocolate and a good book. Maybe I can talk Asher into movie day on the couch.
I throw on grey sweats and tie my hair into a ponytail while I wait for him. I’m always eager to see him, but since we were together a couple nights ago, I feel even more connected to him. I gave him the last piece of me I had to give, and he took it with so much care . . . I’ll never forget the look in his eyes as we became one. I’ll never forget the gentle way his hands and lips floated over my entire body. It was exactly how I envisioned my first time would be.
The exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours gets to me, so I let myself drift off to sleep. When I wake up, it’s half past four and Asher isn’t here yet. He’s never late when we have plans. I pull my phone out of my purse and check for a text, but there isn’t one. I dial his number, but he doesn’t answer that either.
I don’t have his dad’s number, so I can’t call him. Maybe he had car problems on the way and is stranded somewhere. He doesn’t have the best car for driving on the snow covered, icy roads.
After a few minutes of worrying and wondering what I can do, I grab my coat and car keys and head out the door. I’m not going to be able to concentrate on anything else until I find him anyway. I carefully maneuver my car through the snowy streets, taking the same path he would take to get to my house. When I turn down his street, I see his car still parked in the driveway. At least he’s not stuck somewhere alongside the road.
I park on the street in front of his house and walk carefully up the ice-covered driveway. The steps leading up to the front door haven’t been shoveled, so I take extra care with them before knocking hard on the glass door. When no one answers, I bang louder, stepping back and waiting for the door to open. But again, no one answers.
Something is telling me that I need to get inside. I look both ways down the street to make sure no one is watching, and then try the handle on the glass door. Surprisingly, it opens. Why is it unlocked? Once inside the living room, I hear nothing but the tick of the old wooden clock that rests on the entertainment center.
“Asher!” I yell. Again, nothing but the sound of the clock passes through the room. I step closer to his bedroom, my heart pounding a little faster with each step. Goosebumps prickle the back of my neck and down my arms as I turn the corner down the hallway. I hear water running in the bathroom, so I softly tap my knuckles against the door and wait for a reply, but there is none.
I carefully turn the knob and slowly push the door open. The water is pouring out of the faucet, but no one stands in front of it. I push the door open a little further and find Asher, hunched over the toilet with his elbows resting on the seat.
“Asher.” Just as I say his name, he begins to heave over the toilet again. I kneel down behind him and place my hand on his back, just to let him know I’m here for him. “It’s okay,” I whisper over and over, trying to soothe him.
When his body finally gives him a break, he grabs a tissue from the box that sits to his side, wiping tears from his eyes. I quickly grab a washcloth and wet it with water so that I can wipe the sweat from his forehead. He leans into my hand, letting me take care of him for once.
“How did you get in here? My dad didn’t let you in, did he?” he finally asks, sounding annoyed.
“No, I knocked but no one answered so I let myself in. You weren’t answering your phone. What’s going on?” I ask, running my fingers up his neck into his wild blonde hair.
“I really don’t want you to see me like this. Why don’t you go back home and I’ll call you when I’m feeling better.”
“How long have you been like this?” I ask, avoiding his comments. He’s crazy if he thinks I’m just going to leave him.
“For a few hours. I think I have the flu or something,” he says, placing his hand over his stomach.
“Will you let me stay and take care of you?”