“I’m here now and that’s all that matters.”
He doesn’t waste a second before he wraps his hand behind my neck to draw me close to him, and claims my lips with his. He starts out soft and sweet, but then he turns into a man who hasn’t eaten in weeks as he presses his tongue between my lips. My body curves into him as he pulls my bottom lip between his teeth. It’s like I have air in my lungs again. What he makes me feel physically and emotionally…I didn’t even know it was possible to need someone this much.
He pulls back, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’m the last person who’s ever going to kiss these lips.”
I nod, and then lean forward to kiss him again, trying to match his urgency from before. I’m showing him how much he means to me with every touch. I don’t ever want to kiss anyone but Dane again; this I know for sure.
He stops, resting his forehead on mine. “Baby, don’t ever leave me again. Promise me.”
“I promise,” I say as I run my hands through his hair and pull his mouth back toward mine, starving for more of his touch.
I want to ask him what he’s been doing the last couple months. I want to know if he was with anyone else. What did he do when he wasn’t in class? How many art shows did he participate in? I want to ask him so many things, but I don’t. I stay locked in his arms, holding and kissing him. I missed this and now it’s mine again. I’m going to take advantage of the second chance we’ve been given and remind him that he made the right decision every day for the rest of my life.
We spend the remainder of the day putting my clothes in his closet and hanging some of my paintings on the walls around the apartment. I can’t explain how it feels to merge our two lives. It’s all happening so quickly, but I’m calmer than I thought I would be. It just feels right.
We curl up on the couch and watch a movie together. He lies behind me, gripping me to his chest as we both stare at the screen. I don’t know the name of the movie we’re watching, and I don’t care. I’m just happy to be here with him. It was an emotional day, so we both succumb to sleep before the movie is even halfway over.
I wake when he carries me to the bedroom and helps me into one of his t-shirts. He pulls me into his arms and we both quickly fall back to sleep. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t want a little something more tonight. It has been too long, but I need to be wrapped in his arms just as much as I need anything else right now.
I wake up the next morning with Dane’s body wrapped around mine. Sometimes when I’m with him, I feel as though I am dreaming even when I’m awake. He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.
I feel his hand slide over my stomach and inhale. I crave his touch, and the absence of it for two months makes this feel so much better than I remember. He presses his splayed hand to my stomach and pulls me closer to his body. I can feel just how much he wants me, and I’m aching for him. I turn in his arms, grabbing his face in both hands and kissing him with all the passion I’ve been holding inside since the last time we were together like this. I run my tongue over his lips until he opens for me, giving me better access while he fists his hands in my hair. I used to think Dane was a mistake but I knew the day I let him go that he’s what I need to breathe. God, I need him. I’ll always need him.
I push him to his back and straddle him, causing a groan to escape his lips. He grips my h*ps with his strong hands as his eyes meet mine. They’re full of so much more emotion than words can even express. I lean down and work my lips over the line of his jaw and down his neck before continuing to his smooth, hard chest. Dane’s built like no guy I’ve ever seen before. He’s got the type of body that girls pin to their Pinterest boards, and he’s mine.
I feel a tingle run through my body as I kiss my way down his hard stomach. I’ve never done what I’m thinking about doing, but I want to do everything with Dane. I’m not going to hold back anymore, and when I chose Dane I promised myself that I would never let anything come between us again. I want this. My heart starts to race as I grab the band on his boxer briefs. It doesn’t take more than two seconds for his hands to work their way into my hair, forcing me to look up into his passionate green eyes that I missed so much.
“Baby?” he says, cupping my face in his hands. I open my mouth to reply, but he cuts me off. “What are you doing?”
I lower my eyes from his. All of a sudden I don’t feel very comfortable, but I wrap my lips around his length, trailing my tongue as I take him deeper. I didn’t know if I’d be able to do this, but one quick look at his handsome face with the parted lips and hooded eyes tells me I must be doing something right. I get lost in the moment, moving up and down, taking more of him each time as I listen to the soft moans that escape his lips.
I’m completely lost in this new experience when, suddenly, he stops me, placing his index finger under my chin to lift my gaze back to his. “I need to be inside you. I can’t wait any longer.” My heart pounds in my chest; I need him any way I can get him. I move back up his body and capture his lips with mine. He shifts so that I’m lying on my back with him nestled between my legs, working his warm mouth over my skin until I’m trembling with anticipation. When he slides my underwear down my legs, I thank my lucky stars that I slept in only his t-shirt last night so I won’t have to wait too long to have him inside me.
There’s nothing slow and sweet about his movements, or his kisses. He wants this just as much as I do. I feel his familiar calloused hands work their way up my sides, stopping right below my breasts, his thumbs sliding over my nipples. I missed Dane something crazy while we were apart, but now that I can feel him and smell his strong, clean scent, I realize he’s part of me. He makes me be who I’m intended to be, makes me feel what I’m intended to feel, and he completes all the pieces of my life that I can’t. He’s everything I’ll ever need to be happy.
He kisses along my collarbone before moving up my neck toward my lips. His soft touch sends a shiver down my back, and every nerve in my body screams for more. He uses the tip of his tongue to trace my mouth, and I open to welcome him in, tasting him. He pulls back and looks into my eyes while he slowly enters me. It feels amazing, like the first time without the pain; there is so much emotion between us. I feel like my world is back on its axis as he buries his face in the crook of my neck and moves slowly in and out. When he starts to move faster, I feel myself building and fist the bed sheets in both hands. We get lost in each other. I didn’t forget what this felt like while we were apart, but now that we’re in the moment, every feeling is multiplied. I love this man more than I love life. I’d do anything for him, and I know he’d do the same for me.
“Come for me, baby,” he whispers in my ear. It’s all I need before I feel my body tighten around him and I feel his body tense above mine. He kisses me deeply, swallowing my screams until my body calms. We lay silently for a few moments, entwining our fingers and enjoying the feeling of bare skin against bare skin.
He nuzzles my neck with his nose, breaking the trance we’ve been lost in. “You smell so good. I missed that smell on my sheets.”
“Are you saying you want a bottle of my perfume?” I tease, rubbing my fingertips up and down his back.
He sits up, and then looks right into my eyes. “No, I’m saying I want you to stay in my bed. Forever.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not leaving? Ever,” I say, moving my hands to cup his face.
“I may need to hear it a few times.” He leans down to kiss me. I now realize how much doubt I’ve put in his head by letting him get away from me once. I would do anything to take it all away, and I know it’s going to take time to earn his trust back.
The last few months I’ve learned that if I really want something, that if I can’t live without it, I need to go for it. It’s so much easier to run the other way and not have to face the possible rejection. It’s so much easier not to have to admit my weaknesses, or my wrongs, but running hurts more in the long run.
Some things are just worth fighting for.
The man whose eyes are staring down at me now is oxygen to my soul. He makes a part of me come alive that I never knew existed before.
I know in my heart that I do the same for him.
“I’m going to go take a shower. I’ll only be a few minutes,” Dane says, leaning in to kiss my nose. “You’re free to join me if you want.”
“That’s very tempting, but I need to call Jade. I promised I would once we got settled.”
“Your loss, baby,” he says, sticking out his lower lip. I can’t help myself when I lean up and take his lower lip between my teeth. A low growl rolls from his body when I lean back on my pillow smiling up at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?” he whines.
He doesn’t wait for my answer as he rolls off the side of the bed. I watch him walk to the bathroom, his firm backside flexing with each step he takes. It’s almost enough to tempt me. I’m not going to tell him that though, because I have a feeling he would be walking around n**ed all the time.
When I look at the clock it’s after 10:00am, so I decide it should be safe to call Jade. The phone rings once before I hear her voice on the other end. “Spill it,” she says. I can tell she’s practically jumping up and down.
“What do you want to know first?” I ask, looking up at the ceiling. I’m still in bed naked, wrapped in Dane’s grey sheets, but I’m more comfortable than I’ve been in a really long time in my own skin.
“What did you say to him to convince him to take you back?” she asks. She was probably just as surprised as I was that he took me back.
“I told him that I didn’t want him to be a memory to me. I told him that the only thing that scares me is losing him,” I say softly. I close my eyes and I can still see his face as I laid my heart out to him. His lips were pressed together, eyes blinking rapidly. He was fighting with himself the same way I had been when I made the decision to leave him. I’m just thankful his heart led him in a different direction than mine led me.