“Other than a watch?” Eliza shook her head. “Lucien would not tell me. Only that I must keep it safe.” A little wrinkle formed along the bridge of her blunt, straight nose. “He said that it belonged with me.”
An odd lump filled Adam’s throat. “I suppose it does.” The watch would not have allowed itself to be worn by her if it weren’t so. “Wear it against your skin. Do not let anyone see or know of its existence.”
He knew his expression was hard, unyielding, but she needed to understand. Thankfully, she gave a solemn nod. “I will. But… If it is truly yours, then you ought to have it back.”
“No. It isn’t safe.” He met her curious gaze. “Not when Mab wants my soul.”
The pillow of her bottom lip pushed out enough to catch his attention and hold it. “Adam…”
God, but he loved the husky way in which she spoke.
“If I cannot…” She trailed off again, a huff of impatience leaving her. And then her head tilted down as if she could no longer hold it high. “What if I cannot help set you free?” she finished in a small voice.
A real fear. As he could not force her to want him. He ran his thumb along the smooth edge of the watch. “I wish…”
Her gaze was a touch on his skin. “What do you wish?”
Adam’s chest lifted on a breath, and he made himself face her. “That we could trust each other. That you would believe it when I told you I’d never hurt or betray you.”
Pansy-purple flooded her irises, so fae that something inside him balked, even as he found himself drifting closer. Or perhaps she did. It did not matter who moved, only that the soft rise of her breast brushed against his forearm, that her lips parted, the rosy color and plump curve of them tempting him to taste her again, endlessly.
“And what of you?” she asked. “Will you put your trust in me?”
He wanted to say yes. But he’d been alone, without anyone knowing his truths, for hundreds of years. And his throat closed around the word. “Tell me what you spoke of with Lucien,” he found himself saying.
Instantly, her long lashes swept down, hiding her eyes from him. “No.” She moved to step away from him, and his hand grasped the watch, holding her in place.
Eliza’s sweet mouth compressed, but she did not look up. “Let me go, Adam.”
He wanted to. Maybe that was the true way to gain her acceptance, her love. But he could not make his fingers relax. “Why won’t you tell me?”
Only then did she lift her eyes to his. “When it ceases to matter, then maybe I will.” Her step was so abrupt and swift that the watch slipped from his grasp. And so did she. Again.
Chapter Eighteen
“Do you know where she’s gone?” Mab’s question came out light, almost unconcerned, but the way she pinned Sin with a stare was anything but. She’d flay him alive and enjoy it.
Sin leaned against the doorframe, hands stuffed into his trouser pockets, his heart thudding against his ribs. “No.”
“Mmm…” Mab trailed one claw-tipped finger over the green velvet brocade divan where she lay. She’d summoned him to her rooms with the message to make haste. And Sin had complied. Because he could never do otherwise. Mab’s eyes turned fully purple as she watched him now. “Are you certain?”
“Madam, you’ve made certain that I cannot lie to you.”
“And yet there are ways to slip around the truth.” Again her pointed claw dragged along the fabric, deeper this time, snagging in the velvet and leaving a jagged scar in its wake. A smile curled over her carmine lips. “Isn’t there, my sweet meat?”
Revulsion caught him by the cods and held on with an icy grip. He fucking hated that nickname, and what often came after. Sin swallowed back bile. Fuck it all to hell, he was done. Done being her pawn. “Then I shall put it thusly. I made bloody well sure Eliza May would know not to trust me.”
Rage flashed in Mab’s eyes. And Sin was honest enough to admit that it terrified him. But he held still. And she suddenly laughed, showing her pointed teeth. “Clever boy. Are we growing into a man now?”
God, would he ever be clean? Or would he feel the taint of his misdeeds for a lifetime?
Mab stirred, drawing his attention back to her. A pale green silk dressing gown encased her slim body, and when she lifted her knee, the silk slid away from her white thigh. A pretty sight. It made Sin’s insides heave. She watched him with narrowed eyes as she slowly spread her legs, exposing a wet and waiting quim.
He wanted to die. He knew that now. Die, rather than touch her. And yet a fierce and sudden rage came upon him. He would not let her win. He’d not end himself because of her.
Mab drew a finger along her plump, pink seam. “Come along then, sweet meat. I require release.”
He swallowed down his hate and revulsion. Tapped it down deep inside of himself and went numb. She was nothing. His body was nothing but a receptacle for his soul. He told himself this. And it still didn’t matter. He still felt everything.
Instead of using the horrid submarine, Adam took Eliza to Kew by way of a pleasure cruise. Dressed now as a lady and gentleman of good stock, they blended in with a large group of people intent upon picnicking at Kew Gardens. However, despite the gaiety surrounding them, the trip had been somber and silent.
They disembarked without a word exchanged, and Adam set off down the country lane, his back straight and his jaw clenched.