That wasn't right, though. There would always be something we couldn't run away from. Someday she'd remember who I was and what part my family had played in taking her father from her, and then there would be nowhere in the world I could go for forgiveness.
I had to tell her what I knew. I had to tell her why her father had been taken from her. I had to tell her everything.
As I stood there watching her, she stirred awake and smiled up at me. She had no idea the man she was happy to see could very well be the one person she'd never want to lay eyes on again.
"Hey, what are you doing there staring at me as I sleep?" she jokingly asked. Stretching her arms above her head, she pushed away her drowsiness. "I missed you."
"I missed you too. I got your letter."
Nina sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Did you like it?" Looking up at me, she held out her hand. "Sit down. Tell me about your day."
I sat down beside her and ran my fingers through her hair. "I'd rather hear about yours. Jensen tells me you and Jordan had a girl's night out."
"I'm guessing he told you about me seeing Cal too."
"He did," I said flatly, hoping to hide how jealous it made me.
She squeezed my hand. "Don't be angry, Tristan. He's down on his luck and I did him a little favor. That's all."
"I don't think you know your friend Cal very well, Nina. What you call down on his luck is actually his con. He does this to women all the time."
"No, you're wrong. Remember, he didn't come looking for me. I found him after all these years. He's just going through some bad stuff now. You'd help someone like him too. I know you would."
I lifted her chin with my forefinger so her gaze met mine. "You're too nice. I know all about him and I'm telling you he's playing you."
"I don't believe it. No girlfriend cheating on him and leaving him with an expensive apartment to pay for? He told me his mother died too. Was that a lie?"
Shrugging my shoulders, I admitted I knew nothing about either of these things. "But I can find out. Whatever he's claimed, I'm guessing it's a lie. He does this all the time, Nina. You're going to have to be careful now that you have money."
"About that. Why do I have all that money? You can't be paying me that much to be your private art curator."
"I can pay you whatever I want."
Nina pulled me by my T-shirt until my mouth was next to hers. With a smile, she said, "Well, I guess that answers that, now doesn't it?"
I kissed her lips and whispered against them, "Now promise me no more money to Cal."
"If what you say is really true, I won't give him any more."
"You doubt me?" I asked, half-teasing and half bothered that she might not trust me on this.
"You know I like to question everything. I thought you liked that about me."
"I like you questioning other people, not me."
"Cro-magnon much?" she said with a giggle. "Somebody has to keep you on your toes, Mr. Stone."
"On my toes?"
Nina playfully ran her tongue over the seam of my lips. "And all those other fine body parts."
My co**ck stiffened as she teased me, and for at least a little while I wanted to believe I could forget all the bad I needed to confess and get lost in her. Fisting my hand in her hair, I tugged her head back and covered her mouth with mine, thrusting my tongue into her mouth to find hers. I wanted to escape inside her body.
"I want to be inside you so bad," I groaned as I trailed kisses down her neck.
She arched her back, rubbing her brea**sts against my chest and cooing as she wrapped her legs around my waist. Looking down at the silk pajamas I wore, she licked her lips and slid her forefinger just under the waistband. "Then get these off."
Not waiting for my answer, she tugged them down over my hips while I pulled her shorts and panties off. I threw them away from me and watched as she did the same with my pants.
"Didn't we buy you something nicer to wear to bed?" I asked as she stripped off my T-shirt.
Nina skimmed her hands over my stomach and looked up at me, her eyes sparkling with desire. "Uh huh, but what's the purpose of wearing them if it's just me?"
I tore her shirt from her and pulled her to me. "It's never just you. I'm always nearby, even if I'm not right next to you."
Her teeth nipped at my collarbone as she mumbled against my skin, "I like it better when you're right next to me."
I loved the feel of her mouth on me, exciting me as she showed how much she wanted me inside her. Slipping my hand down over her stomach, I probed between her legs, loving when I found her dripping wet.
"Tell me what you want, baby," I whispered as I pushed a single finger inside her eager cunt.
She wriggled against my hand, desperate for the pleasure I wanted to give her, and whimpered, "I want you. Inside me. Fucking me until I come and then until I come again."
I loved when she talked like that. There wasn't a man on Earth who didn't want exactly this kind of woman—a lady in public any man could be proud to show off and a whore in the bedroom who knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to let her man know. That Nina could be both thrilled me and made me love her even more.
Her hand stroked my co**ck from base to tip, making my control ebb away. Struggling to hold back, I had to give in and pushed her back onto the bed. I wanted to feel her warm and wet cunt surrounding my co**ck as I thrust into her to reach that place where I could give her what she wanted and find some peace from everything that plagued my mind.
Taking a nipple into my mouth, I sucked it hard and bit down gently until she cried out more in pleasure than pain. Her heels pushed against my lower back, urging me to enter her and leave the foreplay for another time.
"Don't tease, Tristan. You always tease," she whispered in a needy voice as she clawed at my back to pull me close.
"Not teasing, princess. Control," I said low in her ear as I slowly eased my co**ck inch by inch into her eager body.
She thrust her hips upward to welcome me into her and pressed her fingertips into my back. "I don't want controlled Tristan. Let me see what's inside your heart instead of always being so in control."
"You don't want that, Nina," I said in a strangled voice as I began to slowly make love to her.
Cradling my face, she stared deep into my eyes as I continued to push my co**ck into her. "I do. Show me that man," she moaned.
I slowed to a languid pace in and out of her body. I wished I could show her that man—the one who didn't need to be in control of everything in fear that if he didn't, his life would spiral down to nothing. Burying my head in the pillow next to hers, I said quietly, "I am who I am, Nina."
She stopped my motion with her heels against my back, keeping me inside her as she threatened to tear away the walls I made sure to protect myself with at all times.
"I love who you are, Tristan, but I know there's someone else inside there. Someone who has nothing to do with control or money. That Tristan wants to say things to me. I wish you'd let him."
"I love you, Nina. I love you with an need that scares me sometimes. I've never loved anyone like this. I spend my days dreading that you're going to wake up one day, realize who I am, and tell me you can't do this anymore. That you can't live with someone who's as fucked up as I am."
She kissed me softly on the lips as tears welled in her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're not fucked up. Why would you say that?"
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. "There's so much about me no one would want."
"That's not true, Tristan. No matter what you think, you're wonderful."
I stayed silent for a long time until I finally admitted the truth at the heart of us. Opening my eyes, I whispered, "One word of rejection from you would kill me, Nina. Please tell me that even if you ever think that you can't take who I am anymore, you won't leave. Give me a chance to show you I love you."
No matter how much I asked for her to make that promise, I knew there was the real risk that she would leave again when she found out what my father had done and how much I'd known about it all this time. This time I'd make sure things turned out different, though. I had to.
"Tristan, I'm not going anywhere. I promise no matter what. I love you. That means no leaving."
We made love sweeter than it had ever been before between us or between me and any other woman. Deep inside, I hoped that Nina would want to live up to the promise she'd made. The time was coming that I'd have to finally confess everything. Each day that passed meant the risk that she'd remember everything grew, but until I knew the whole ugly story, I had to wait.
I just hoped that when the time came, it wouldn't be too late.
As always, I slipped out of Nina's room after she fell asleep and returned to my room. I'd grown used to my nightmares since the plane crash, but I knew tonight would be filled with more than usual. Over and over, I was haunted by the image of Taylor and my father standing over two dead bodies. I got less than an hour's sleep total, tossing and turning until I woke up in a cold sweat twice before I just gave up and got ready for work.
I stood in the kitchen hoping coffee would undo what my lack of sleep was working hard to accomplish, but even the caffeine in the special blend Rogers bought for me wasn't able to do the job. My eyelids drooped heavily as I leaned against the center island, my day ahead and all that I'd learned in Pennsylvania weighing on my mind.