Heaven? Clarke thought in confusion. Unbidden, the old song lyric popped into her head. Heaven is a place on Earth. How could she be thinking of something so ridiculous at a time like this?
He took her hands and clutched them in his. He was still wearing his watch—they hadn’t confiscated it yet. Should she ask for it? It’d be her last chance to have something to remember him by. But the thought of her father unclasping it with his shaking hands, leaving his wrist oddly bare as they strapped him down to the table, was too much for Clarke to endure.
A guard grabbed her arm. “Come on.”
Clarke cried out as if she’d been burned. “No,” she yelled, trying to wrench herself free. “Get off of me!”
Her father’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Clarke.”
Clarke planted her feet into the floor, but it was no use. They were dragging her backward. “I love you, Dad,” she said in between sobs. “I love you.”
Clarke was holding the watch so tightly, her palm felt numb. She kept her eyes on the second hand, but of course it didn’t move; the watch had stopped working years ago. When Clarke asked her father why he wore it, he’d told her, “Its job isn’t to tell time anymore. It’s to remind us of our past, of all the things that are important to us. It may no longer tick, but it carries the memory of every life it recorded. It beats with the echo of a million heartbeats.” Now it was holding her father’s.
“Are you okay?” Sasha asked, placing her hand on Clarke’s shoulder.
She flinched and spun around. “Where did you get this?” she asked. She’d gone so deep inside the memory, she was surprised to hear her own voice echoing in the cave.
“In the woods,” Sasha said. “Like the rest of this stuff. One of the Colonists must’ve lost it in the crash. I would’ve given it back, but by the time I found it, they were all gone.”
Could it be? Could Clarke’s father have been sent to Earth instead of executed that day? What about her mother? She knew it was crazy, but she couldn’t think of any other reason the watch would have ended up here. By rights it should’ve been given to her after her father’s death, but since she was in Confinement herself, it would’ve been archived with the other historical artifacts, part of the collective heritage of the ship. And yet it wasn’t back up on the Colony, locked in a dusty archive box. It was here, on Earth.
She thought of her father’s good-bye, how he’d told Clarke that he would see her in heaven. She’d always thought that was a strange thing to say—he’d never been one to really believe in the afterlife. Was it actually a message? Maybe he’d wanted her to think of the song lyrics, and make the connection, since surely he couldn’t have said such a thing in front of the guards?
It took all of Clarke’s control not to spill everything to Sasha. She was desperate to share her theory, to have someone confirm that she wasn’t being crazy. For all she knew, Sasha had met her parents.
But as Sasha looked at her with an expression of confusion and pity, Clarke simply stammered, “This watch… looks familiar.” Hope swelled up within her, filling the cracks in her broken heart, and she knew she couldn’t bear to have anything sweep it away. Not yet. Not until she found out definitively what had happened to the Colonists.
The more she thought about it, the more it seemed possible. Maybe her parents were part of that first expedition. They’d been sentenced to die, but Wells’s father could have taken pity on them. He couldn’t spare their lives publicly, but what if he was able to put them on the secret initial mission to Earth? After all, who better to send than the people who had been researching the planet their whole lives?
“Sasha,” Clarke said, using all her strength to keep her voice steady. “I need to see your father. There are things I have to know about the first expedition.”
Sasha stared at her, her face suddenly inscrutable. Finally, she nodded. “I suppose it’s okay. But I can’t take you all the way to the compound. You’ll have to wait in the woods while I go find him. They’ll never forgive me if I brought you inside.”
“That’s fine,” Clarke said. “I understand.”
“So you want to go right now?”
Clarke nodded. Her chest was so tightly wound with anxiety, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to breathe for much longer, let alone talk.
“All right, then. Let’s do it.”
Clarke followed Sasha out of the cave, and once their eyes adjusted to the sunlight, they set out. Sasha began explaining the route, but Clarke barely heard her. She couldn’t stop running her fingers over the watch’s cold metal as she turned over all that had just happened in her mind.
She was so distracted that when Sasha stopped short, Clarke walked right into her. “What’s going on? Are we here already?”
Sasha turned and placed a finger over her lips, urging Clarke to keep quiet. But it was too late. A moment later, five figures came crashing through the trees. Wells, Graham, and three others Clarke had seen with Graham before. They’d been collecting wood to make more spears, and the long, pointed sticks they held seemed more menacing than they had in the clearing.
“What the hell?” Graham bellowed as one of his minions grabbed Sasha’s arm. His eyes flashed dangerously at Clarke. “Were you helping her escape?”
“Graham,” Wells shouted, hurrying toward them. “Knock it off.”
Graham ran toward Clarke and twisted her arm roughly behind her. Two of his friends fanned out behind him, surrounding her. “You’ve really pushed your luck this time, Doctor. You’re coming with us,” Graham snarled.
Clarke scanned the boys, weighing her options. There was no way she could fight them, and they were blocking her path. “Listen,” she began, trying to think of a way to explain why she had taken Sasha so deep in the woods—but before she had finished the sentence Graham doubled over, letting go of her arm.
For an instant, Clarke couldn’t figure out what had happened. But then she saw Sasha struggling against the boy who was holding her, and realized she’d kicked Graham to give Clarke the chance to escape. Clarke’s eyes locked on Sasha’s green ones, and Sasha mouthed, Go.
Clarke gave a small, grateful nod before she took off running, leaving the rest of them behind.
CHAPTER 19
Bellamy
He was packing up again. He’d done it twice before, but each time, something had brought him back. Octavia had disappeared during the fire. Clarke had been bitten by the snake.
But now he was leaving for good. He’d dealt with Wells’s mind games and Clarke’s treachery for the last time. As he stuffed a few protein packets into his pocket, a new wave of anger rose in his chest at the thought of everything he’d given up to bring Clarke safely back to camp. He’d lost Octavia’s trail, and wasted days waiting for the Earthborn girl to talk. He should’ve left Clark in the woods, letting her limbs swell and her airway close up so that she’d never be able to utter another lie again. She’d tortured Lilly and then had been twisted enough to claim that Lilly had wanted to die.
There wasn’t much to bring. He had a blanket. His bow. A few water-purifying tablets. He and Octavia would figure the rest out on their own. Before Wells had knocked Bellamy to the ground, the Earthborn girl had whispered, “Four miles northwest. Halfway up the mountain.”
Bellamy didn’t know what he would find there—Sasha might have been telling him that the other Earthborns lived on the mountain, or that the rogue group had been spotted near there. Maybe it was a trap. But right now it was all he had, and he wasn’t going to waste any more time.
Bellamy left without saying good-bye to anyone. Let them think he was heading off to hunt. Wells had disappeared and there was no sign of Clarke, thank god. He didn’t think he’d be able to look at her again. The idea that he’d almost slept with the girl who’d killed Lilly was enough to make him vomit.
The more distance he put between himself and the camp, the easier it became to breathe. The air smelled different here than it did in the woods closer to the clearing. Perhaps it was the species of trees, or the makeup of the soil, but there was something else too. The scent of leaves and dirt and rain had been mingling for centuries, undisturbed by any humans. It felt cleaner here, purer, a place where no one had ever spoken and no one had ever cried.