“I know you think I was blind to your father’s faults all those years, but I wasn’t. I put up with a lot from him, but those days were about to come to an end. We were fighting a lot and I told him I was through.
“After the heart attack, he cried for the first time in years, told me coming that close to death made him realize what an arrogant fool he had been. He told me he had the best life, the best family, and he’d taken it all for granted, that he’d put his career first and he’d just assumed I’d follow him along wherever he went. He apologized to me and asked me for forgiveness. He confessed all his failings to me and I told him I’d stay with him under one condition—that we go to marriage counseling. He agreed instantly.”
“That surprises me, considering if that ever came out it could hurt his career.”
His mother nodded. “It surprised me, too, since your father’s public image was always his priority. But he told me he didn’t care. He promised me that I would forever and always come first in his life, and since then he hasn’t once backed away from that promise. We’re together on his campaign trips, and his phone and his email are an open book to me. It’s like we have a second chance at love again. That trust was hard earned, but he has it from me again.”
“How did he ever get to the VP position given his past?”
She smiled. “He never cheated on me, Gray. He was a workaholic and a heavy drinker, and often an arrogant ass, but he never cheated. He liked to flirt with young girls. I hated that.”
Gray gave her a dubious look. His mother shot one right back at him.
“Do I look like a fool, son?”
“No, ma’am, you don’t.”
“Trust me, I’d know. He told me he wanted to feel young, and he always gave the ladies the eye, but he would have never cheated on me. And if he had, believe me, when they vet someone for vice president they’re very thorough. They’ve gone through his past with a fine-toothed comb.”
“Does Cameron know about the heart attack?”
His mother nodded. “Of course. We held nothing back. Cameron appreciated your father’s honesty. I wasn’t kidding when I said your father has changed. He’s one of the healthiest men in politics now.”
That’s why his dad looked so different when Gray saw him at the ranch.
“And Cameron believes in him.”
His mother nodded. “Yes. He believes in your father’s policies, too, and his vision for the future.”
“And you don’t think it’s going to come out during the campaign.”
She shrugged. “If it does, we’ll deal with it. I don’t think it will matter. He is who he is now, not who he once was. Cameron believes in him. So do I. He’s an amazing man, Gray. He’s warm and compassionate and he loves his family.”
Or at least some of them. Gray gave her a confused look. “But there’s been this Grand Canyon–wide chasm between him and me and I don’t understand why.”
His mother smiled. “He’s tried, Grayson. You keep shutting him down. If you think about it, he’s been accommodating of all your requests—like using the lodge at the country club, or using the plane anytime you want it. He’s been trying for years to open a dialogue with you. It’s been you stonewalling the reconciliation.”
Gray sat back against the sofa. His mother was right, at least partially. He and his father had always had lousy communication skills, and God knew he always had blinders on regarding his dad, always wanted to see the worst where he was concerned. But maybe he just hadn’t seen the signs, maybe he refused to see the olive branch his father had been trying to extend all these years.
And when he saw his father with his fans and the media today, he had just assumed the worst, because of the painful memories of his childhood.
He looked at his mother. “So now what?”
She squeezed his hand. “I guess that’s up to you.”
*
GRAY FOUND HIS FATHER EXITING A MEETING WITH A few other senators. He paused when he saw Gray, no doubt expecting some sort of confrontation.
Gray approached and his dad excused himself from his colleagues.
“Got a minute?” Gray asked.
“For you, all the time in the world.”
Gray took a deep breath. “Let’s go talk somewhere quiet.”
“Sure.” He led them down the hall. One of his aides, a cute brunette in her mid-twenties, stopped him. “Megan, this is my son, Gray. This is Megan Alberts, one of my aides.”
Gray shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“You, too, Mr. Preston.” She turned to the senator. “Senator, the governor called and needs a few minutes of your time as soon as you’re available. He says it’s important.”
He nodded. “Tell him I’m with my son right now and I’ll let him know as soon as I’m free. This is a priority.”
“Yes, sir.”
She gave a quick nod to Gray and hustled off.
“I know you’re busy,” Gray said.
“I’ve spent my whole life being busy. I think you and I need to talk.” He used his key card and let them into an empty suite. The lights came on.
“Something to drink?” his father asked.
“I’m good right now, thanks.”
“Okay. I’m going to grab a glass of water, if you don’t mind. All this talking makes me thirsty.”
Gray waited while his father put some ice in a glass and poured water from the well-stocked bar. He looked out the window at the convention center and the city ahead.
“You’re damn good at what you do, Gray. I’m sorry I missed it until now.”
He turned to face his father. “Well, you’ve been busy.”
“I need to be less busy.”
Gray’s lips lifted. “If you and Cameron win this election, I imagine you’ll be more busy.”
His father let out a soft laugh. “You’re probably right. Hell of a thing, huh?”
“I guess so.” He leaned against the windowsill. “I didn’t know about your heart attack. I wasn’t listening when you reached out. Are you okay?”
“Healthier than I’ve ever been in my life, thanks to some amazing doctors and your very pushy mother who makes sure I eat all the right things and exercise.”
“Good for Mom. And I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who’s sorry. I wasn’t there for you when you needed a father. And for the times I was, I was a shitty father. I can’t make up for that, son. I did everything wrong.”
Emotion tightened within him, all these feelings, all the things he wanted to say but had held inside his whole life.
“Go ahead,” his father said. “Say what’s on your mind.”
“I hated you, resented you for picking politics over me. And it hurt to not see you in the stands during my games.”
His father nodded. “Like I said, I did it all wrong. I’ll never be able to make up for what I missed. You’re such a goddamn good athlete. What you can do with a car— Jesus, Gray, it’s magnificent watching you drive.”
The pride and awe in his voice was real. It was so real it was painful. “Thanks.”
“And this is what you should be doing—what you should have always been doing.
I didn’t understand it then. I do now. I can never take back the things I said or the way I said them. I can only apologize for saying them. You made the right choice.
You’d have been a terrible politician, but you’re one hell of an auto racer. Life’s way too short not to do what you love. Always do what you love.”
Gray nodded. “I have been, Dad.”
“So you’re happy.”
“Never been happier.”
“And does that happiness include Evelyn?”
Gray cocked a brow. “Evelyn?”
His dad set his glass of water down and stood. “You know, it’s my job to be observant. I see the way the two of you lock gazes. Reminds me of me and your mother, the way we were when we first fell in love. And when we fell in love again.”
His dad smiled. “So . . . you and Evelyn?”
He wasn’t prepared to have this kind of conversation with his father. “I . . . don’t know. We have two different lifestyles. She wants a career in politics.”
“And you’d deny her that?”
Gray frowned. “Hell no. She should have everything she wants.”
His father smiled. “Good. I agree. She’s amazing and smart and talented and ambitious, but also sweet and loving. Your mother adores her. So does your sister. I could see the two of you together.”
This was the most bizarre conversation he’d ever had with his father.
“I don’t know how I could make it work.”
“You were always a smart boy, Grayson. And you’ve been able to have everything you’ve ever wanted. If the two of you are meant to be together, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
TWENTY-SIX
GRAY FOUND EVELYN IN HIS PARENTS’ SUITE, SHE AND his mother huddled together on the sofa. She stood to face him.
“Yes, Dad and I talked. We didn’t hug or anything, but I think we’re going to be okay.”
He saw the relief on his mother’s face. “I’m glad. For both of you.”
He hugged his mom. “Me, too.”
They visited for a while, then he and Evelyn left to head back to the racetrack.
Mentally exhausted, all he wanted to do was go to bed, close his eyes, and clear his head.
Evelyn was great about reading his moods, because she didn’t grill him about his conversation with his father, just climbed into bed with him and laid her head against his chest.
Surprisingly, though, he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t shut off the thousands of thoughts going through his mind. He finally sat up and turned on the light.
Evelyn scooted up against the pillows and drew her knees up to her chest.
“Would you like to talk about it?”
He thought for a few minutes, then said, “I understand so much now, and I get the whole forgiveness thing. But I feel like I have all these years of anger and resentment that I’m supposed to just let go of instantly.”
“But you can’t. Not just yet.”
“No.”
“It’s going to take time, Gray. I think it’s all right to allow yourself some baby steps with your dad. You don’t have to have this instantly close relationship with him tomorrow, you know? Isn’t it enough to know the truth, to know what happened and that he wants a relationship and forgiveness, and to just take it day by day?”
“I guess so.”
“And I think you’re still carrying years of resentment inside you. One ‘I’m sorry for all that’ from him just isn’t going to cut it, is it?”
He looked at her. “Thanks for that. I think that’s what’s bothering me. I feel like him saying ‘I’m sorry’ should be the end of it, but it doesn’t feel like the end of it for me.”
“Nor should it. Years of indifference don’t just disappear with one apology. He has a lot to make up for.”
“For some reason, I thought you’d be on his side.”
She laughed. “Hey, I’m Switzerland here.”
“A very political statement. Maybe you’ll end up being Secretary of State.”
She climbed onto his lap. “Not a chance, buddy. It’s all the way to the White House or nothing.”
He grasped her hips and snaked his way up her rib cage, his fingers playing with the thin tank top she wore. “Ambitious women make me hard.”
She rocked back and forth against his erection. “Hmmm, so I’ve noticed.”