Bellamy scoffed. “Yeah? So tell me. What’s your big plan for tomorrow?”
She raised her chin. “I’m going to approach the entrance holding a white flag. We’re not sure whether they have that custom, but it’s worth a try. And I’ll ask to speak to their leader to negotiate the terms of release.”
Her words knocked the anger from his chest. “What? No, Clarke, you can’t. They’ll shoot you before you even have a chance to open your mouth.”
Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s our only option. We don’t have the weapons to make a strategic attack—”
“We can use their weapons. I told you!” A note of desperation crept into his voice. The hurt and fury he’d felt was gone, replaced by cold dread. He couldn’t let her do this.
“And I told you. We can’t blow up part of the building. Not when we have no idea where the prisoners are being kept.”
“Clarke, please…” His voice cracked. “Don’t do it. After everything… if I lose you too…”
She raised her chin, eyes blazing. “When are you finally going to understand? Just because you love someone, it doesn’t give you the moral right to do something unreasonable. We’re all scared. We’re all in pain. But we have to be rational.”
Her exaggerated calmness reignited the smoldering anger. She was treating him like one of her patients in the psychiatric unit on the ship. Like he was too delusional to understand what was really going on. No matter what, she’d always see him as some hotheaded fool who stormed into situations and made everything worse. He wasn’t going to let her make him feel that way.
He felt his lips curl into a sneer. “People die while you’re trying to be rational, Clarke. Like Lily.” He knew the words were a step over the line the moment they came out of his mouth.
She recoiled and gasped, as if his words had knocked the air out of her. “Are you serious?” she said hoarsely. Years ago, her parents had been blackmailed into performing experiments with radiation on children, as part of the Council’s attempt to determine whether Earth could support human life. Bellamy’s first girlfriend, Lily, had been one of the subjects, and although Clarke had done everything she could to save her, it hadn’t been enough.
“I’m just saying that you might not be the best person to determine our course of action when there are lives on the line.”
Her head shot up, rage, hurt, pain shining from her eyes. Then, as Bellamy watched, his chest growing tight, she pulled it all back in, her face becoming as cold and remote as a statue.
“And you are?” she snapped. “The last time you were involved in a hostage situation, your father was shot.”
He stared at her, finding it hard to believe that this was the same girl who’d left the safety of their camp to go with him to find Octavia when she went missing. The girl who trusted him, who needed him… who loved him.
“Just… go,” he said. “Go do whatever you think is best and I’ll do the same.”
“Fine.” She spun around and left without another word.
The silence that settled over the camp felt absolute. His eyelids fluttered and fell and he swore he could feel Octavia’s tiny hand holding his as they hid together in their cabin on the ship, Wells’s arms wrapping around him the first time they embraced as brothers, Clarke’s body warm against his as they stared up at the stars.
All things that were about to be stolen from him tomorrow, when Clarke put her suicidal plan into action.
CHAPTER 19
Glass
Yesterday had been the kind of busy day that leaves you floating just above dreams all night long, your body longing to stay in motion. In the darkness of her chamber, Glass’s mind flitted from memory to memory, never quite settling into deep slumber.
It had started with a rude awakening, being dragged out of the dorms to become Soren’s new maid, but it had ended on a very different note, with a dinner of delicious, spiced stew, surrounded by Soren and her advisors, their warm chatter and laughter filling the chamber.
Over the course of the day, there had been visits to nearly every corner of the compound; Soren drawing up plans for planting in several areas surrounding the outer walls; ducking into the sorting area, where the women were dividing goods up to keep or to melt down or scrap; walking along the river’s edge, where some of the men were teaching the younger members of the group to catch fish. They’d even paid a visit to the barracks, so that the High Protector could congratulate some of the newer recruits on their training and wish them well.
Glass hadn’t seen any of her friends there, and was secretly a little relieved about it. She’d spotted Wells only briefly, passing through the outer corridors of the Stone, and had flushed with panic at the sight of him, without really even knowing why.
She was almost enjoying herself. She felt useful here, in a way she hadn’t the entire time they’d been on Earth. Maybe in her whole life. She’d trailed Soren all day long, providing water when she was thirsty, a cloak when she was cold, taking notes on scraps of parchment after Soren learned that Glass could write. But mostly Glass watched and listened… and learned. She was amazed at how Soren could be both powerful and beloved—a far cry from the leaders she’d known back on the Colony. And she couldn’t stop herself from imagining, someday, having people look at her with the same reverence.
But could she do that if she returned to the camp? What future was waiting there for her? Yet anytime her thoughts drifted in that direction, a face materialized in her mind. Luke. The warm, sleepy smile that greeted her the moment she woke up in the morning. The way his brown eyes crinkled when she made him laugh. The look of fear and anguish when he shouted at her to run.
But now it was the beginning of a new day, and Glass lay in her bed in the anteroom attached to Soren’s chamber, physically exhausted but half-awake, waiting for her next set of orders. After all, Margot had said that Soren kept odd hours. She might call for Glass at any moment. She needed to be—
She stirred, hearing a voice in the chamber beyond. Was this a summons? Through her little window, she could see a corner of sky and it was still dark, but now she heard a few low voices rising up from Soren’s room. Glass rose quietly and slipped from her nightgown into her white dress. If Soren and her advisors were awake, they’d call for her soon.