Moments later another text buzzed through, and Jack read it aloud. “It says, ‘Let’s see what the Hulk has to say about that.’ I can only assume by ‘Hulk’ he’s referring to me.”
“It’s not his choice whether I live or die,” I said loudly toward the ceiling. Then I turned toward Jack and whispered, “It’s not your choice.”
“I know,” Jack whispered back. “I know, Becks.”
I put my hand over my mouth, annoyed at myself for giving voice to the one wedge between me and Jack, the one thing that we would always disagree on. I would rather die than rule the Everneath. Jack would rather I live, no matter the cost. It was true, but it gave Cole too much information. When it came to me, he had a track record of exploiting any and all weaknesses he could find.
And now he was listening to every word we were saying. Max and Gavin probably started their guitar-and-drum duet when Cole discovered we were in his place.
Jack mouthed the words Let’s go.
I nodded. I didn’t want to let Cole overhear anything else. Jack took my hand, and I followed him to the front door and through it to the balcony. He shoved the door closed despite the shattered lock, and we had just started down the balcony when I noticed a dark figure blocking the staircase. Jack saw him too and jerked to a stop.
I couldn’t see his face, because he was backlit from the light on the stairs, but his silhouette showed he was wearing a hat with a wide brim—maybe a cowboy hat?—and a long coat, like a trench coat.
Whoever it was, he just stood there. I couldn’t actually see if he was looking at us or not, but for some reason I felt his eyes on me.
“Try to act normal,” Jack said. It was a little late for “normal,” considering we’d just come stumbling out of the condo, shoved the broken door shut, and then frozen at the sight of the man.
Nevertheless, we started walking toward him.
He made no move to stand aside. Jack flipped on the flashlight and shone it momentarily in the guy’s face, and at first I didn’t notice anything strange until I got a look at his eyes. They were pitch-black. A chill went down my back as the man smiled, revealing two rows of black teeth.
We stopped again.
“Um, let’s go down the back way,” I said, my voice cracking.
“What back way?” Jack whispered.
I pulled on his arm. “I don’t know, but there’s got to be a back way. If not, we’ll make one.”
Jack nodded. “I think that’s a good idea.”
We ran in the opposite direction, following the balcony past several other condos, until we saw an emergency exit sign. Jack barreled through the doorway, and we ran to the car.
When we got there, I lunged toward the passenger’s side. I was about to rip the door open when my knees buckled beneath me. I caught the side of the door just before I fell to the ground.
“Becks? You okay?”
“Yes,” I called out, trying to mask how out of breath I was. I still didn’t know what this new weakness meant, and until I did, I didn’t want Jack to worry.
Part of me, the naive part maybe, hoped the weakness would go away before anybody else noticed. Part of me hoped the weakness had nothing to do with my missing heart.
But another part of me knew it had everything to do with it.
THREE
NOW
The Surface. In the mountains.
Who was that guy? Jack said, driving way too fast down the mountain switchbacks. “Or maybe I should ask, what was that guy?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like it. Maybe we didn’t get a good enough look at him. We only had a glimpse. Maybe he was dressed up for some . . . costume party.”
“Right. Costume party. In June. On a balcony. By himself.”
I glanced in the side-view mirror several times over the next few minutes, even though I couldn’t think of a reason the man in the trench coat would’ve been following us.
When I was sure we were in the clear, I said, “The bigger problem is, Cole anticipated us.”
Jack sighed and flipped on the signal to turn into my subdivision. “So what do we do now?”
“Move to Tahiti,” I said. I stared out the window as Jack pulled up in front of my house.
“That would look suspiciously like running away from our problems.” Jack grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. “Meet you in five?” he said.
I nodded. “I’ll leave the window unlocked.”
I ran inside, straight past my dad’s study. As I walked by, he looked up from his laptop.
“It’s a little late. How was your date?” he asked.
“Fine.” We broke into an immortal’s condo, looking to steal my heart, which is now a compass. But we came up empty-handed. “Um . . . the usual boring stuff. Good night,” I called out over my shoulder.
“Next time, you’re home by midnight,” my dad said back.
As I got ready for bed, I could no longer keep my disappointment at bay. We didn’t have my heart, so we were no closer to turning me back into a human. Not only that, but tonight showed that Cole had anticipated we would search his apartment. He wasn’t just one step ahead of us; he was several.
He’d predicted we’d go for the safe.
I shook my head as I put toothpaste on my toothbrush. Cole had always known me too well. It was how he’d convinced me to go to the Feed with him in the first place. It was how he’d been able to trick me into feeding on him three times in the Everneath.
I washed my face and then looked at myself in the mirror and yawned. There were dark circles under my eyes, the kind that had only ever appeared when I’d been out all night, and my face was paler than usual.
Maybe I wasn’t sleeping very well.
I went to my room and opened the window for Jack.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
My hand flew up to my face. It must’ve been more noticeable than I thought. “Yes. I just suddenly felt really exhausted.”
Jack frowned. “Are you sick?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m sure I’m just tired from breaking and entering. Nothing more.”
Jack pressed his lips together as if he were reluctant to give up on the subject, but I pulled him toward my bed and wrapped my arms around him.
“We’re never going to find my heart if Cole doesn’t want us to,” I said, my eyelids drooping. “Now that he’s back in town, I say that tomorrow we confront him.”
Jack smiled. “Tomorrow you have summer school.”
“Ugh,” I said. “Okay, after summer school.” I could hear the exhaustion in my voice.
“Just sleep for now, Becks. We’ll figure it out.”
When I could no longer keep my eyes open, I fell asleep entangled in Jack’s arms. There was nowhere else I’d rather be. I just had to find a way to stay there.
At night. My bedroom.
I’m running down a series of hallways. Something, or someone, is after me. The walls of the hallways begin to close in. Hands reach out from deep within the walls, grabbing at my hair, my arms, my legs.
I turn a sharp corner and run into a tall, regal woman with fiery red hair.
The queen of the Everneath. Adonia. My heartbeat speeds up at the sight of her.
“I see you,” she says.
“No,” I try to say, but no sound comes from my mouth. I scramble backward and trip over something at my feet.
It’s a body. Lying on its stomach. I grab the shoulder and turn the body over, and there is my own face, staring back at me. Lifeless. I try to scream, still unable to make a sound.
The queen crouches down beside me. “I see you. You will try. You will lose. You will die.”
“I don’t want the throne!” I try to scream, but it comes out in a whisper. “I don’t want it!”
I woke with a start, my hand pressed against my chest. I knew it was a dream. Only a dream. But dreams had a funny way of being connected with the Everneath. I was scared the queen really could see me: the girl who threatened the throne. What was worse, I was scared the queen would find me.
It took me several long blinks to wipe the cobwebs from my eyes, and even then the world seemed smoggy, as if I’d taken a sleeping pill last night.
Jack wasn’t in bed, so I hoisted myself up and went to the kitchen looking for him. Movement from the window caught my eye. There he was, standing in front of the chestnut tree, his feet apart in an athletic stance, his shoulders hunched, his fists in front of his chest, ready to throw a block. He cocked his arm back and then punched the trunk of the tree over and over, his knuckles becoming bloody and torn. Shards of wood exploded from the tree each time his fist made contact.
I grabbed the windowsill for support. I’d never seen anything like it. Yes, he’d punched through the wall last night, but this tree was a solid oak.
He wouldn’t let us focus on the mystery of why he’d come back the way he had, because he said we had more pressing matters, such as my immortality. But watching him right now, I wondered if we were focusing on the wrong thing.
I leaned closer to the window. “Jack!”
He didn’t turn around for a moment. His shoulders relaxed and lost most of their rigidity from just seconds before. But no matter how he tried to compose himself, I knew he was upset about our failed attempt to retrieve my heart. Even more upset, probably, that I had told Cole I’d rather die than become queen of the Everneath. After everything we’d been through, I knew that Jack would prefer I stay alive no matter the cost. It was the one point we’d never agree on. I would never become an Everliving if it meant feeding on other people. At the same time, he would rather become my Forfeit than see me die.
I’d given up hope that we’d ever agree. Now I could only hope it would never come to that.
He finally turned around and flashed me a dazzling smile.
“Hey, Becks,” he said. “I didn’t know you were awake.”
“I didn’t know you hated trees so much.” I frowned. “What are you doing?”
He looked down at his hands, his bloody knuckles. He stretched his fingers wide and clenched them again. “I don’t know. I was trying to see just how much pain I could withstand.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “A lot, apparently. Do you feel better now, knowing?”
He nodded, about as out of breath as if he’d just jogged for a block. I’d exerted more effort climbing out of bed. There was no wincing or tightness in his eyes. No sign that he’d felt any pain at all, even as a small drop of blood ran down his hand and off his finger. He wiped it on his jeans.
A folded piece of paper at his feet caught my eye. “Did you drop something?”
Jack looked down and quickly scooped up the paper, putting it in his pocket.
“What was it?” I asked.
“Your note.”
He didn’t have to specify which note. I knew the one. Last year, after the Christmas dance, he had left a note in my pocket with two words written on it.
Ever Yours
When I’d gone to the Everneath to save him from the Tunnels, I had brought the note and left it in his hand. He’d literally used it to find his way back to me. Now he never let it out of his possession.
“Come inside,” I said. “I’ll make us some coffee before school.”
He nodded again and walked away in the direction of my front door, using the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the sweat from his brow. Beating up trees must’ve been quite a workout.
Jack came in, and I started the coffeemaker. He sat down and absentmindedly reached for the watercolor painting on the kitchen table, a summer art project by Tommy.
When he finally looked up at me, his mouth dropped open a little. “Becks, you look worse now than you did last night.”
I put my hand up to my cheek. I hadn’t had a chance to look in a mirror. “I don’t think I slept very well. Bad dream.”
He came over and put his arms around me, pulling me close. “What about?”
“The queen. She had me trapped in a hallway with thousands of hands sticking out. She kept saying that she sees me. I couldn’t hide.” I left out the part about the dead body at my feet. I didn’t want Jack to worry about my state of mind. “Doesn’t mean anything.”
“You’re right,” Jack said. “It doesn’t. She doesn’t know you exist, and the good thing about Cole is that he will guard that knowledge to the grave. But the sooner we confront him, the better.”
“It’ll have to wait until after school.”
Jack’s phone buzzed with an incoming call. As he pulled it out of his pocket, I glimpsed the caller ID.
“Does your mom know where you spend your nights?” I asked.
“Everyone knows where I spend my nights,” he said, pressing the ignore button and putting the phone back in his pocket.
“Then why doesn’t she do anything about it?”
“She’s not about to do anything that might push me to ‘run away’ again. So I guess my time in the Tunnels turned out to be a good thing.” I sat down, and his hand trailed down my shoulder and my back. I shivered into him. “Why?” he said. “What does your dad think?”