I glanced up and saw Amanda talking to Heather. She was smiling about something and just seeing how happy she was caused me to smile. I was shocked when she had come home from dinner with my mother with a box full of baby pictures of me, and a smile on her face. When I asked her how it went she replied back with. “Great!” and then told me all about her dinner with my mother.
She must have sensed me watching her because she looked over and winked at me. I winked back and gave her the best panty-melting smile I could muster. She smiled bigger and then said something to Heather. Heather nodded her head and Amanda started walking toward me. She walked right up to me and then sat down in my lap.
“Hey baby,” she purred into my ear as I moved my hand up her sweatshirt.
“Hey back at ya,” I said as I kissed her gently on the lips.
Amanda looked around and said, “Jesus, did a puppy die or something? What in the hell is wrong with all y’all?”
“Got our man cards taken away by Lark,” Josh said as he kicked the dirt. Heather came walking up and must have heard him, because she started laughing. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and whispered something to him, causing him to smile from ear to ear.
Ellie came skipping over and skidded to a stop. “It’s almost midnight! Eeepp! Gunner, will you throw a few more trees on the fire?”
Gunner jumped up and stumbled before Ellie reached out to him. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked as she looked at Jeff with her hands on her hips.
“Oh my God. Why are you looking at me like that? He’s a grown man, I didn’t make him drink!”
Ellie gave Jeff the evil eye and then turned back to Gunner. “Baby, don’t drink anymore. I need you to not be drunk so we can…well you know,” she said as she winked at a smiling Gunner and then grinned at Jeff.
“Yuck. Gross. You’re a brat, Ellie.” Jeff jumped up and made his way over toward Ari. He walked up behind her and picked her up and spun her around before setting her down and turning her around to face him. He kissed the shit out of her as she smiled from ear to ear.
I rubbed Amanda’s back and said, “Gunner, I’ll help you throw a few trees on.” Amanda quickly gave me a kiss and then looked at her cell phone. “Oh gosh. Just fifteen minutes!”
Gunner and I quickly threw three more Christmas trees into the bonfire. The heat coming from it was perfect for this chilly night. Everyone began making their way over to the bonfire.
We all stood around the fire as each person said one thing that was for him or her, the best part of the last year. Of course Amanda said the birth of Meg. I couldn’t pick one…I had so many. When it was my turn I just smiled and said, “My wife’s love.” It was her love that pulled me back from the brink. It was her love that saved me from so much.
We counted down to zero and then kissed our loved ones. Before I kissed Amanda, I glanced over to all my friends. They were all kissing and laughing. I turned and looked into Amanda’s eyes.
“Happy New Year, pumpkin,” I said as I placed my hand on the side of her face.
“Happy New Year, Brad,” she whispered to me, before reaching up on her toes and bringing her lips to mine. As we kissed, every happy memory from last year just flooded my mind.
“To a new year filled with nothing but happy memories and lots of love,” Amanda said as she pulled away and looked up at me.
I grinned and nodded my head. I didn’t doubt what she said was true. I was going to be able to be home with her and Meg. Be there for every step of the pregnancy and build my wife her dream home.
Yes. Yes, it was going to be a year filled with lots of happy memories and even more love.
She tilted her head and looked at me. “Do you think this year will be the best yet?”
I couldn’t help but smile bigger and let out a small chuckle.
“Yeah, baby. I believe anything is possible with you by my side.”
Amanda bit down on her lower lip as I leaned down and captured her lips with mine. I wasn’t sure how long we kissed for, but all I knew was I had never been so happy and so at peace in my life. I thought back to how Bryan had told me in therapy I only had to believe. Believe in my own strength. Believe in the love of my friends and family and believe that only I had control of my future.
As I stood there and held my wife in my arms I thought about that word. The definition of believe is to “accept as true.”
I smiled to myself and looked up at the night sky as I whispered,
“I believe.”
Chapter 11: Amanda
The pain. Shit, I don’t remember this kind of pain before. I grabbed onto the side rails and tried to ride out the contraction. Brad was just about to tell me to breathe through it when I held up my hand.
“Stop! I swear. To God. If you tell me. One. More. Time. To breathe. Through the pain. I’m going to make you hurt.”
“Ah, duly noted. No more breathing through the pain,” Brad said with a smile.
“Brad, go find the damn nurse and tell her I want the epidural now!” I said through gritted teeth.
“Honey, are you sure?”
I snapped my head and looked at him.
“But the plan, baby. You told me if…”
I grabbed him by the t-shirt. “I swear to God, Brad, if you ever want to have sex with me again, you’ll find that bitch and tell her I want the epidural…now!”
Brad quickly spun around and headed out the door. I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on something other than the pain. I closed my eyes and pictured our new house. It was breathtaking. The baby’s room had been painted in a beautiful pastel green that Brad picked out. Josh made all the furniture, and I cried when they gave it to us at the baby shower.
Maegan’s room was painted pink with a butterfly theme. Brad said every time he walked in there he felt like someone had thrown up Pepto-Bismol all over the walls. I was so happy with how the house was coming together. We had only moved in a few weeks ago and just in time. This baby was ready whether we were or not.
Brad came walking back in with the nurse and another guy.
“Amanda, I’m the anesthesiologist that will be administering the epidural.”
“Oh, thank God!” I said as I felt another one coming on.
“Jesus…hurry, will you please, doctor? I think she’s pissed because I ate spicy food last night.”
He laughed as he shook his head. “All right, let’s do this.”
As I looked down at my beautiful daughter, I couldn’t help but think of how much had happened in the last year and a half. I moved my finger all along her sweet face as I listened to everyone talking. Taylor had been passed all around to everyone. Alex was already in love with Taylor.
I glanced over to Brad and gave him a wink. He lifted his eyebrows and walked over to me. He leaned down and kissed Taylor and then he kissed me oh so sweetly on the lips.
“I’m so proud of you, Manda. You amaze me.” He whispered.
I let out a giggle and said, “I’m sorry for calling you a bastard.”
“‘Fucking bastard’ I believe is what you called me.”
I rolled my eyes and put my hand up behind his neck and pulled him to my lips again. As he stood back up he looked down at Taylor and shook his head.
“My God. Two girls,” he whispered.
I let out a chuckle. “Yep, two girls. Two beautiful girls.”
Brad turned and looked at Jeff holding Luke. “I’m telling you, that’s the one to look out for…right there. Mark my words, if he’s anything like his father…”
I laughed and caused Taylor to startle.
Jeff saw us looking at him and he walked over.
“Manda, she’s beautiful,” Jeff said as he reached down and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you, Jeff. Brad here seems to think little Luke is going to be the player in the bunch,” I said with a wink.
Jeff threw his head back and laughed. “Oh hell yeah, he will be!”
Luke said, “Hell yeah!”
“Oh! Oh no buddy! Don’t say that. That’s a bad, bad word,” Jeff said as Brad’s mouth dropped open and he slowly looked back at me.
“Oh God,” Brad said as he closed his eyes. “My little girls.”
I let out a laugh and shook my head. “Don’t worry baby, they will always be daddy’s little girls.”
He slowly smiled and reached for Taylor. I handed her to him, and he began rocking her as he smiled and said, “You better believe it. Daddy’s little girls forever.”