“Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Mom. I won’t break any laws…at least not on purpose!” I said with a wink.
We both laughed, and then my mother took my hand in hers. Here we go.
“Ari, don’t be scared tomorrow, sweetheart. Let me know the moment you leave if they can tell how far along you are. Get your prescription for your prenatal vitamins filled as soon as you leave. Take them every day. It’s all going to be okay, Ari. Even if you are a carrier, there’s a chance that you won’t pass it along. Chin up, my dear. Now, tell me why you’re not telling Jeff that you’re pregnant.”
I put my head down on my knees, I tried to take a few deep breaths. As I felt my Mom’s hands moving up and down my back, I instantly felt calm.
“Mom, I can’t tell him… at least not for a few more weeks anyway. He’s going with Rebecca to an appointment next week. If she truly lets him go, then I have no doubt in my mind that she’s telling the truth about the baby being his. What if he doesn’t want the responsibility of having two kid’s mom? He’s going to be so overwhelmed. What if…what if her baby is healthy...and mine.”
“Arianna Peterson! You did not just start to say that. Look at your brother. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to this family. He is a blessing. You see how much Jeff loves him and how good Jeff is with him. Even if this child does end up with Fragile X, you know it’s not the end of the world, Ari. I’m shocked at your thinking.”
I looked at my mother with tears filling my eyes. “Mom, I’m not you. I’m not strong like you. What if I can’t do this? What if Jeff ends up falling in love with Rebecca’s baby? He won’t want to live two hours away from him. Did I tell you that she’s having a boy mom?” Then, I completely lost it and just started crying.
My mother pulled me into her arms and rocked me back and forth. Shit. This whole crying thing was starting to piss me off! We sat there for a good fifteen minutes. We didn’t talk as my mom just held me, letting me get it all out. I cried so much that I was sure we were both going to need to change our shirts from my water-works.
Just then, I heard a car coming up the driveway. I felt my mother tense up. I looked up and saw Jeff pulling up. I jumped up and ran into the house, leaving my mother alone to fend for herself.
I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. Then, I heard a knock on the door. Shit! Why would she let him come in? I slowly opened the door and peeked out to see my father looking at me. Fuck me. I can’t handle any more today.
“You okay, princess? Do I need to kick his ass? I’ll do it, baby girl. Just give me the word, and I’ll hire a really big guy to kick his ass.”
I started laughing uncontrollably. I laughed so hard that I had to lean my hands on my knees as I tried onto catch my breath. Just then, Jeff and my mom walked up.
“What did you say to her Mark?” my mom asked.
“Ah…nothing. I um, just offered to, um…take care of something for her. She just lost it.”
Jeff started to laugh and then both my parents did.
“Well, whatever you said, thank you. I’ve been missing that laugh,” Jeff said as he smiled at me.
***
After my laughter episode, I said good-bye to Matthew and my parents. Jeff walked out with me to my Jeep. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug.
“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I figured you were here, so I took a chance at coming over,” he said.
I tried to breathe in the smell of him, but all I could smell was perfume…and not my perfume.
I pushed away from him and covered my mouth. I instantly felt sick.
“Ari, what’s wrong? Is your stomach still upset?”
“All I smell is her perfume on you! Why do I smell her perfume on you?”
Jeff looked confused, and then he shook his head. “Um…well um…maybe because she broke down when we finished up painting. She started crying, I just gave her a hug, to um...well I don’t know…make her feel better, I guess.”
Son of a bitch. “I’m heading back out to the ranch. Are you done?”
“No, I just had to run out and buy a screwdriver, I didn’t have the right one in my truck, and Rebecca doesn’t have any. I needed it to put the crib together.”
I just stood there and looked at him. I didn’t even know how I should be feeling right now.
“I have to go.”
“Ari, wait! The hug didn’t mean a damn thing. How do you think I felt when I walked in to see you having lunch with an old boyfriend?”
I spun around, narrowing my eyes at him.
“What? Are you fucking kidding me, Jeff? I ran into him while I was having lunch with my brother. What’s your excuse for your little lunch date with your baby mama? You two looked awfully cozy together. I can see how painful it is for you to be with her. I’m heading back to Mason. I guess I’ll see you when you’re done playing house.”
“Jesus Christ, Ari can we just stop doing this?” Jeff shouted.
I jumped back for a second shocked that he raised his voice so loud.
Without another word, I walked to the driver side of my Jeep and got in.
***
The two-and-a-half hour drive back to Mason was the longest drive of my life. I did nothing but cry, think, and cry some more.
I pulled up to Garrett and Emma’s house to see Ellie and Heather sitting on the porch. I smiled at the sight of my two best friends. I was so glad that Ellie was back. She looked so happy with huge smile on her face. I did my best to act normal, but it was so hard when all I was doing was dying inside.
I took a deep breath and got out of the Jeep. Ellie and Heather both stood up and started to walk toward me. The moment we reached each other, Ellie took me into her arms.
Heather hugged both of us. She whispered into my ear.
“Let it go, Ari. We’re here, baby. Just let it go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
JEFF
I sat outside Rebecca’s place, trying to decide if I should go in or just head home to Ari. I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel. God, I’m such stupid asshole! I couldn’t believe that I’d gotten upset with Ari just because she ran into someone.
I’d almost fallen I saw her sitting there with Matt. Then, I’d noticed that jerk sitting there with her, and I had almost lost it. I could have killed Rebecca the second we’d walked in. She’d said she was going to make us lunch. When she suggested going out because she was craving a hamburger, I had thought it would be okay. I’d never fucking dreamed that Ari would be sitting there when we’d walked in.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the Home Depot bag and made my way to Rebecca’s apartment. I knocked and then opened the door. I walked in to see her was standing there with a cold beer in her hand.
“I thought you might like a beer, you know, just to take the edge off or whatever.”
Shit, I actually could use one. When I reached for it, she placed her hand on my arm, caressing her fingers up and down. I instantly took a step back away from her, and she gave me a frown.
“Jeff, I’m just trying to be appreciative. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? I really don’t know how I would have done this without you. So, we’re pretty much done painting the room. Do you like the color?”
I walked into the small bedroom, I looked around at the pale blue walls. Rebecca walked into the room and started talking about all the things she was going to hang up on the walls.
I started to picture Ari, standing where Rebecca was, with a seven month pregnant belly. I bet she would look beautiful pregnant. Beyond beautiful. I dreamed of the day when Ari told me she was having our baby. What would she want? A boy? I bet she would want a girl. Then, I thought of Matt and Ari’s appointment on Monday. My smiled faded for a second until I looked at Rebecca.
She was still talking away about decorating the baby’s room. I took a good look at her. She had that glow; the kind people say pregnant woman get. Her skin really did look beautiful. Her blonde hair had grown longer falling past her shoulders. She was probably an inch or two shorter than Ari. I smiled at how her hands were moving wildly. She was really getting into the description of the letters she wanted to put on the wall. I looked down at her stomach, and a strange feeling came over me. I walked up to her and placed my hands on her belly.
She instantly stopped talking. Just then, I felt the baby move. It felt like he was doing a somersault in her stomach. I smiled, making Rebecca laugh.
The next thing I knew, she was reaching up to my face down to hers. She stared kissing me lips, and for one brief second, I pictured myself kissing a pregnant Ari. The moment Rebecca let out a moan, I was snapped back to reality.
Pulling back, I placed my hands on Rebecca’s shoulders, moving her a step away from me.
“What the fuck, Rebecca? You can’t do shit like that to me!”
I glanced down at Rebecca’s chest that was moving up down, fast and hard. I looked back up and caught her eyes.
“Jeff, I don’t know why you keep fighting this connection we feel for each other. We’re having a baby, It’s normal to be attracted to each other.”
Oh shit. “Rebecca, I was just feeling the baby. It had nothing to do with how I feel for you. Let me remind you again that we are just friends. I love Ari. I’m going to marry Ari.”
She let out a laugh and turned to walk out of the bedroom. “Please, Jeff. If Ari is so in love with you, then why is she making this so hard for you? She should be more supportive. She shouldn’t be having lunch with some other guy.”
“She would be more supportive, Bek, if you dropped the damn restraining order. What’s going to happen when he’s born? I’m going to want Ari to be in his life whether you like it or not.”
Rebecca placed her hands on her stomach and then leaned up against the wall. She almost looked like she was in pain.
“Rebecca, what’s wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?” My heart started to race, and I instantly felt sick. Fuck me. If I caused this, I would never forgive myself.
I helped her over to the sofa where she sat down and started to take deep breaths.
“Do you need something? A glass of water? Your phone to call the doctor? Just tell me!”
She let out a giggle and looked up at me. “Jeff, calm down. It’s okay. I think it’s just Braxton Hicks contractions. They’re just really uncomfortable.”
“Contractions! You’re not far along enough to have contractions,” I practically shouted.
“They’re not true labor contractions, Jeff. Christ, calm down or you’ll get me upset again. This is why I can’t stress about things. I can’t go into labor early. It’ll be bad for the baby.”
Shit. I ran my hands through my hair as I sat down on the sofa next to her. “I’m sorry, Rebecca. This is just so hard for me. Ari and I waited so long to be together, and now, I feel like we’re just drifting apart so damn fast.”
Rebecca started rubbing her hand up and down my back.
“Jeff, this is my fault. I’m so sorry that I dropped this pregnancy thing on you like this. I really thought that I’d be able to handle it by myself, but I just felt so guilty not telling you about the baby. The whole restraining order…I’ll drop it first thing Monday morning. I guess I was being silly with that.”