“What do you mean? What did she say?” I asked as I watched Josh kick the dirt with his boot.
“She basically told me to stop touching her. I tried to tell her that I had feelings for her…strong feelings.” Josh cut off his sentence as he leaned over, putting his hands on his knees.
In the four years I’d known him, I’d never seen him this affected by a girl.
“Dude, are you okay? What the hell did she say to you?” Jeff asked.
Josh stood up, leaning against the truck.
“Jesus Christ, y’all. I’ve never felt like this before. This is why I never wanted to get involved with anyone. I just wanted to avoid the same shit my dad went through.”
Josh took a deep breath and then looked up at me. Motherfucker. I could see the hurt in his eyes.
“She pretty much told me that she didn’t feel the same way I did and that we would only ever be friends. I’d never felt so gutted in my life. I was almost one-hundred percent positive that she felt something for me. At least, her kiss sure said she did.”
“What happened after that?” I asked.
“I told her that if I walked out the door, I would never again ask her out again or bother her about wanting anything more than just friendship. Then, she just let me walk out.”
“Damn, Josh. That really sucks, dude,” I said.
“Yeah, the worst part was I got trashed later. I ended up spilling my guts to two girls who were out on a girls’ night out. I guess Heather called, and one of the girls told her I was drunk. Long story short, I woke up this morning in Heather’s bed. She was on the sofa sleeping. She had left a voice-mail the night before, saying she wanted to talk. I wasn’t really in the mood for more rejection, so I just left without waking her up.”
“Oh hell, Josh, that was a stupid-ass move. Maybe she wanted to explain why she freaked out. I mean, I’ve known Heather a long time, and I can honestly say that I’ve only seen her date a few guys at most. Maybe the idea of getting closer to you scared her.” Jeff said.
Josh started kicking the dirt again. He looked up at the house when Ellie, Ari and Heather all come out. Heather looked directly at Josh with slight smile. Just then, Lynda walked out the door and walked up in between Heather and Ari. She said something that caused Heather to frown, and then she turned around and headed to the other side of the porch.
“Josh, go talk to Heather,” Jeff said, giving him a slight nudge.
“Dude, she doesn’t want anything more than friendship.”
I was watching Lynda closely. She obviously had a thing for Josh, and if I knew Lynda, she would do whatever it took to get what she wanted.
“I agree with Jeff. Dude, you need to go talk to her.”
Looking back to the porch, I smiled at Ellie as she gave me that beautiful smile of hers. I’d never get used to how this girl made me feel.
“Okay, I’ll go talk to her, but if she turns me down again, this will be it. I’ve never in my life begged or chased a girl, and I sure as shit am not about to start now.”
Josh started to walk toward where Heather was sitting at the side of the house. Lynda came running down and stopped him. He must have told her that he needed to talk to Heather because her whole body sagged as she turned to head back up to the porch.
Ellie and Ari started to walk toward us, Ellie gave me a strange look. I knew what she was trying to tell me, but I’d already figured out that Ari hadn’t told Jeff about the baby yet. He would have said something to me by now.
“So, standing out here guy-talking huh?” Ellie said reaching up on her toes to give me a kiss.
I picked her up and deepened the kiss. It took everything out of me not to let out a moan. Shit. The things this girl did to me drove me crazy. I just wanted to load her up in my truck and take her home.
Ellie slightly pulled away from my lips and smiled. “I love you, Drew.”
“I love you more, Ells.”
“Yep, the whole newlywed thing is starting to get a little sickening, y’all. Take it back to your house if you’re going to hang all over each other,” Ari said as she gave us a smirk.
“Don’t be jealous, baby. That’ll be us soon,” Jeff said as he put his arms around Ari.
He placed his hand on her stomach, Ari jumped and stiffened. She tried to relax before Jeff noticed, but it was too late. He turned her around, giving her a funny look.
“Ari what’s wrong? Are you still feeling sick?”
Just then, Mom called us all to come in so we could talk about the party tomorrow. Ellie told Jeff that Ari was fine, and then she took Ari’s arm in hers as they walked up to the house together. Jeff grabbed my arm, holding me back.
Motherfucker. Please don’t ask me…please don’t ask me.
“Gunner, has Ellie mentioned anything about Ari’s appointment yesterday? She won’t talk to me about it. I know she had the genetic testing done. She’s a nervous wreck. I think she’s worried about the results. I just wish she would talk to me,” Jeff said as he ran his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck.
“I know Ari was upset about a few things yesterday, the test, the whole Rebecca throwing them all in jail, and then you sticking up for Rebecca. Did you ever find out if she really tried to call you?”
“She said she tried to call. I don’t know what to think anymore. She seems to be telling me the truth, but Ari is so damn sure that Rebecca is lying. I just don’t know anymore, Gunner. I want to believe Ari, but...fuck I’m so damn confused. I just want to do the right thing for both Ari and this baby. I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
I just stared at him. “You need to believe the woman you love and who loves you, not some crazy bitch who never thought to call you until after she was seven months pregnant.” I turned and walked away from him.
Stupid fucker. Even I thought Rebecca was lying. A part of me wondered if Jeff was hoping this baby was his.
***
We spent the next few hours talking about the party tomorrow. I kept looking from my grandparents to my parents. My mother looked scared. She kept asking my dad if he was okay, and I could tell he was trying to be patient. My dad had changed. I wasn’t sure if it was from the heart attack, from being home again, or from maybe realizing what he had lost out on. I mean, it had only been a week since he’d refused to come to my wedding. What changed?
After dinner, we sat on the porch for a while. Josh and Heather’s talk must not have been a good one because they pretty much avoided each other all afternoon and evening. Lynda took full on advantage and never left Josh’s side.
“So, I have the guest rooms all made up. Grace and Jack, you take the room with the queen bed in it. Lynda, you can have the room next to the bathroom. Jim and Michelle, you can take the other bedroom.” Grams said. Turning to Heather she asked, “Heather would you like to bunk with Lynda?”
“Actually, Emma, Heather’s going to stay with us.” Ari said.
I took a quick peek at Lynda. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack herself.
Josh snapped his head over toward Heather. Lynda leaned over and whispered something to Josh. He just smiled at her. Then he glanced back at Heather, and she didn’t even try to hide her reaction. She just rolled her eyes as she stood up.
“Thank you, everyone, for a lovely evening. Ari and Jeff, if y’all don’t mind, I think I’m going to turn in. I had a late night.”
Everyone said good night to Heather as she made her way to her car. Josh never took his eyes off of her for a second.
Everyone went up inside, and I was left sitting on the porch by myself, waiting on my mom, Grams and Ellie to finish up plans for tomorrow. I heard the screen door shut, and I looked up to see my dad walking toward me.
I sat up a little straighter, force of habit I guess. Shit, something’s never change.
“Drew, I um, I’d really like to talk to you for a few minutes if you’ll let me.”
Huh, this was new. He’s asking me for permission for once.
“Sure, Dad. Yeah, that’s fine.”
He sat down next to me and didn’t say a word for close to five minutes.
Finally, he let out a sigh. He leaned back and smiled.
“Do you know where my favorite place in the world used to be when I was growing up here?” he asked as he looking over at me.
“I didn’t know you had a favorite place here. You always made it seem like you hated it here,” I said turning away from him.
He’d never said one good thing about the ranch. He’d only talked about how much he hated it.
“I guess I deserved that one.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
My dad leaned forward, putting his arms on his knees, as he let out a nervous laugh.
“When Garrett called to tell me you were getting married…”
He paused, clearing his throat.
“I, um…I have to admit that it killed me when it wasn’t you who called to tell us. I mean, I understood the reasons why it wasn’t you, but the look of pain on your mother’s face about gutted me because I knew it was my fault. I took something that she loved very much away from her.”
I didn’t even know how to respond to him. My dad had never opened up to me like this before. I just sat there, stunned.
“Then, Dad told me where on the ranch you would be getting married.” Shaking his head, he let out another small laugh.
“Drew, I think it’s about time I told you the truth about why I was such a damn hard ass on you your whole life.”
“Dad, really, it’s alright. I don’t want you to get yourself worked up when you’re here to relax.”
My dad smiled at me, leaning back into the chair again.
“Ever since you were little, I could see you were gonna be just like your grandfather, kind heart but hard-as-hell shell. I remember taking you out to a spot here on the ranch. I sat there with you as we watched the cattle. One of the calves was hurt, and you begged me to do something to help her. You couldn’t have been more than five years old. I told you that she’d be fine. I said I’d let Gramps know, so he could make her better. You looked up at me and smiled. I’ll never forget what you said to me then.”
I tried so hard to remember what he was telling me. Honestly, I couldn’t recall my dad ever being at the ranch with me. Every time I came to visit, I remembered coming by myself. Either I’d fly on a plane on my own and Gramps and Grams would pick me up at the airport, or if we were stationed close by, my parents would drop me off and then turn around and leave.
“What did I say, Dad?”
He turned to look at me with tears in his eyes. Motherfucker.
“You stood up and put your hands on your hips. You told me flat-out, ‘I’m gonna grow up and be just like Gramps. I’m gonna help all the cows, and I’m gonna be a rancher, a really, really good rancher Daddy. I’m even gonna marry me a girl right here on this very spot.’”
I let out a laugh. I remembered telling Gramps millions of times that I was gonna be a better rancher than he was. I stopped saying that when I was old enough for him to slap me on the back side of my head while he told me that no one, except for God, would ever be a better rancher than him.