“And I’ll probably do it at least two more times before this party is over.”
He walked off laughing and slapped some poor lawyer friend of his on the back.
I shook my head. That man scares the shit out of me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew someone who knew someone who could get rid of a body with no questions asked.
Gunner walked up and sat down where Mark had been sitting. He let out a sigh and leaned his head back.
“Taking her to Paris, you prick.”
I let a small smile play across my face. “Yeah, I know.”
“Now, when Ellie tells me she’s pregnant, you know that I’m going to have to outdo Paris.”
I looked over at him and saw him trying not to smile.
“Dude, really? You’re gonna try to outdo my honeymoon? That’s fucked up.”
“You took Paris away from me, Jeff. Paris was mine. I laid claim to it.”
“You’re going to be a big baby about this, aren’t you? Just because I’m going to Paris first? Dude, it was my fucking idea in the first place!”
“I wanted Paris, you bastard.”
“Ari speaks French for fuck’s sake.”
“Doesn’t matter, I’m sure you broke some sort of man code.”
“Man code? I broke the man code? You bastard, it was my idea…you’re the one who broke the man code trying to steal it from me.”
“What the fuck are you two talking about?” Josh said from behind me.
“Gunner’s pissed because I’m taking Ari to Paris before he takes Ellie. He’s being a baby.”
“Well, he did lay claim to it, dude,” Josh said.
“Thank you!” Gunner shouted out and high-fived Josh.
Traitor bastard is never staying at my house again. He could bunk with Garrett and Emma from now on.
“Go to hell, Josh.”
Josh and Gunner both let out a laugh.
“Oh fuck,” Josh said as he stepped behind me.
He looked like he was hiding from Lynda.
“Dude, are you hiding from your girlfriend?” I asked.
“Yes! She’s fucking driving me crazy. Sorry, Gun, I know she’s your cousin, but fuck, she’s already pressuring me with marriage. We’ve only been dating for five months! If she keeps this up, I think I’m gonna need a break from her.”
“Dude just tell her she’s putting too much pressure on you and to back off,” I said.
“I’ve tried. Every time I do, she says I don’t want to get married because I really want Heather. She’s driving me mad as hell.”
“Why do you stay with her then?” Gunner asked.
“Honestly?”
“Yeah, honestly,” Gunner said as he looked at his cousin walking up.
“I’m lonely, and she’s not too bad in bed.”
Gunner turned and looked at Josh.
Josh held up his arms. “Dude, you asked, and I answered.”
“Fucker,” Gunner said.
“Hey, boys, whatcha up to? It looks like a deep conversation over here,” Lynda said.
She walked up and gave Josh a kiss. He barely smiled at her.
“We were just talking about Jeff and Ari’s honeymoon,” Josh said.
Lynda jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “Where are y’all going? Does she know?”
Gunner let out a sigh. “I’m going to get another beer.”
“Paris, and yes, she knows,” I said.
“Oh, how romantic. I hope you’re taking notes, Josh,” Lynda said as she gave him a wink.
I saw Jenny walking up to us. Ari was right behind her along with Ellie and Heather. As soon as Heather saw Lynda, she moved to the other side of the table, standing as far away from Lynda as possible.
“Jeff, it’s time for the first dance. Jack already gave the DJ the song you requested for the first dance,” Ari said.
I had asked Ari if I could pick out our song, and she had said yes. Thank God she hadn’t been a control freak while planning this whole wedding.
“Would you please do me the honor of dancing with me, Mrs. Johnson?” I said as I stood up and reached for her hand.
“I would be more than happy to, Mr. Johnson.”
Jenny walked up to the DJ and nodded her head at him.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are now going to have their first dance as man and wife.”
Ari looked up at me, smiling, and then put her hand on her stomach. I pulled her to me and put my lips right up to her ear.
“What? Are you nervous about dancing with your old man?”
She leaned back a little and gave me that damn beautiful smile of hers, and I swore I felt my knees wobble.
“No, I just felt the baby move, I think.” she said.
I smiled as I pulled her closer to me.
“Everything that I’ve wanted to say to you is in this song, baby. I love you so much, Ari, and I wouldn’t be able to last a day without you in my life. I’ll always love you.”
Kenny Chesney’s “You Save Me” started to play. I took her in my arms and started to two-step with her. She looked up at me with tears rolling down her face.
I will never, ever hurt this girl again.
“I promise you, baby, that I’ll always make you happy. Never in my life will I ever hurt you or cause you pain again. I promise you. Thank you so much, Ari, for saving me.”
Ari tried to talk but couldn’t. She put her head down on my chest, and grabbed my vest, and squeezed it tight. She finally looked up at me and smiled.
“You have that wrong, Jeff. You saved me.”
We finished the rest of the dance in silence. When the song ended, we kissed, and I’d never felt so much love pour through my body like I did during that kiss.
“I can’t wait until I can feel him moving,” I said in her ear.
I started to kiss down her neck and she giggled.
“I have to warn you, Jeff. I’m horny as fuck, so you might want to stop doing that, or I’ll take you right here on the dance floor.”
Oh god, I love this girl. I reached down, picked her up and started to walk off the dance floor.
Gunner was standing there, smiling.
“We need to leave,” I said.
“Now?” Gunner asked in a shocked voice.
“Yes, now. Come up with something. You’re my best man dude. You owe me this. My wife is horny, and I need to take of it now if I’m to start out my husbandly duties right.”
“Oh, Jesus H. Christ, I didn’t need to over-hear that,” Ellie said rolling her eyes.
Gunner let out a laugh as he grabbed Ellie and kissed her. “You’re next!”
“Yeah, I didn’t need to hear that. That’s my sister, you prick,”
“She’s my wife.”
“Can y’all just come up with a reason for us to leave? I just want a goddamn cheeseburger from McDonald’s.” Ari shouted.
I set Ari down, and we all just stared at her.
“What? I want a cheeseburger. What’s so wrong with that?”
“Nothing, baby. You want a cheeseburger so I’ll get you a cheeseburger.” I looked over at Gunner. “Gunner, go get Ari a cheeseburger.”
“What the fuck? You just said you wanted to leave. Now you’re telling me to go get a cheeseburger! I don’t remember that in my list of best man duties.”
“Who wants a cheeseburger?” Heather said as she walked up from the dance floor.
“Ari does, but they also want to leave,” Gunner said.
“Then, just leave.”
We all turned and looked at Heather.
“They can’t leave yet. They have to stay for at least another hour,” Ellie said.
“Fuck a duck. I need a cheeseburger.” Ari said.
“McDonald’s?” Heather asked.
Ari nodded her head, and Heather laughed.
“Well, since my date seems to have decided that he likes dancing with none other than Lynda, I’m more than happy to go get you one.”
‘Oh god, Heather, I love you! Don’t tell my mom though. She’ll be pissed if she knew I sent you for a burger.”
Heather laughed and headed back up to the room the girls got dressed in to grab her purse and car keys.
I can’t believe she’s really going to McDonald’s for Ari. Damn that’s a good friend.
Josh walked over from the bar, carrying a beer in his hand. “Where is Heather going?”
“Well, since your girlfriend won’t stop dancing with Heather’s date, bitch move by the way, she offered to go and get me a McDonald’s cheeseburger. You should go with her. I’m sure she could use the company and I don’t want her walking in the dark all alone.” Ari said.
Josh set his beer down and looked out to Lynda on the dance floor. “Okay, if Lynda asks where I am.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it,” Ellie said as she pushed Josh toward the door where Heather would be leaving.
Josh took off and never looked back.
“You sneaky little thing you,” Gunner said as he looked at Ari.
“What? I don’t want Heather walking all alone,” Ari said, shrugging her shoulders.
“Come, Ells, dance with my pregnant ass.” She grabbed Ellie’s hand and off they went. Ari walked up to the DJ and must have asked him to play a song.
“Ah shit, it ain’t good when your wife requests a song. She has a history,” Gunner said.
I had to laugh. I loved how he called her my wife.
Just then, the DJ stopped the song that was playing. “When the bride asks for a song, it gets played right away,” he announced.
Christina Aguilera’s “Desnudate” started to play, and Ellie and Ari began dancing.
Damn, the way that girl moves kills me. I just stood there for a few seconds, watching her dance. My girl sure as shit loves her Christina. I smiled while I watched her seduce me from the dance floor.
“Heather needs to hurry the fuck up,” I said.
Gunner laughed.
“Dude, I never thought I would say this, but when Ellie gets pregnant, be ready. It’s like they’re horny all the time,” I said.
“I’ll remember that. Get out there and dance with your bride. Hey, I called the hotel, and you’re all set.”
I turned to Gunner and smiled. “You really are like a brother to me. Thank you for taking care of that.”
Gunner and I gave each other a quick bro hug before I headed out to the dance floor.
It didn’t take long for Gunner to join Ellie.
I ended up taking Ari by the hand, and leading her back to the main house to go up to the room the girls had booked.
“Jeff, really, we can’t just disappear from our own reception!” Ari said, laughing the whole time I dragged her away.
“The fuck we can’t.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
JOSH
When Heather came walking down the steps with her purse and keys in hand, I jumped up from the chair I’d been sitting on.
“Hey.”
Heather jumped and let out a small scream.
“Jesus, Josh, you scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was going to tag along with you to McDonald’s.”