Pushing those thoughts aside, I put my shoes on before heading over to Cheyenne’s. A girls’ night is exactly what I need.
* * *
I’m holding my third drink, watching the grains of salt drift from the top of my glass and into my margarita.
“Hehehe. I think my salt is having a race,” I say, and then Cheyenne laughs.
“Oh my God. That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I wonder whose salt would win in a race, mine or yours?”
At that we both start laughing. She’s sitting on the bed in the small studio apartment she shares with Colt. I’m at the table, which hardly has enough room for the two chairs sitting at it.
But I love it. Their apartment is perfect because you can tell how happy they are in it. There’s pictures on the walls and Colt’s clothes mixed with hers in a basket and it’s so perfect I want to cry. I know for a fact how things can look perfect but not really be that way. Somehow I know that’s not the case here. Or maybe I only want to believe it.
“How long have you and Colt been together?” I ask her.
She gets that dreamy look in her eyes and my heart flutters for them.
“Honestly we haven’t been together very long. Just since the beginning of the school year, but it doesn’t feel like it.” She sets her cup down and pulls her legs up under her. “I’m still working on this talking thing…”
It takes her a few minutes, and I give them to her. Understand what she’s going through because though I’ve never been one who has a hard time saying how I feel, I have experience with people who do.
“I wasn’t really in a good place when I met him. Colt wasn’t either. We didn’t plan to fall in love, but—”
“I think that’s maybe the best kind of love. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
She gives me a kind smile. “What do you mean?”
I don’t let myself think before I speak. “I think falling in love by accident is special. I remember my mom telling me when she met my dad that she knew he would be hers. I used to think that was kind of romantic, but… that turned out horribly. I think when love sneaks up on you, when it grabs on to you when you least expect it, maybe that’s more of a sign it’s real. That it’s meant to be and nothing could stop the two of you from falling for each other.”
I’m drifting away, looking at a picture of Cheyenne and Colt sitting on their bedside table. He’s not looking at her. He’s staring off into the distance and Cheyenne’s behind him. Her head against his shoulder blade and I swear I feel it between them. Feel the connection welding them together.
“I think maybe you’re right.” I hear the smile in her voice. “He’s helped me through a lot. I don’t know if I would have made it without him. The cool thing is, and this might make me sound a little conceited, but I don’t care because it’s true. I know I do the same for him. Things aren’t always easy, but I know in here”—she touches her chest—“that we belong together.”
I take a drink, trying to give myself a little bit of space from the mood that’s turned slightly somber, but also full of hope. I want that hope. Want it to spread from Cheyenne’s life and into my own.
“What about you? Have you ever been in love?” she asks.
Automatically, I shake my head. That’s an easy one. “No.” My mind then turns to what Cheyenne said. About not being able to talk and I want to do that. I want to open my mouth and tell her everything. I’ve never really done that—just spilled my secrets for someone to dissect. But I know I can’t. I can’t tell her before I tell Adrian. I don’t even know if she knows his past. That his nephew was killed and that he ran from his family afterward.
“Okay, seriously, we’re getting all mopey. I hate girls who get drunk and depressed. We’re supposed to be having fun,” she says.
At that I smile. I really like this girl. “You’re right. I have a question for you…” I swore to myself I wouldn’t ask her about Adrian, but after the drinks, I can’t help it. I want to hear something, anything to get to know him, but then the door pushes open and Colt comes in. Man, he’s incredibly sexy with messy blond hair and this cocky edge about him.
“Hey you!” Cheyenne leaps off the bed and jumps into his arms. He catches her and her legs wrap around his waist.
“Hey, Tiny Dancer.” And then he laughs. “You’re drunk as fuck, aren’t you?”
She giggles a yes and then my breath backs up into my lungs when Adrian steps into the doorway behind them. His eyes are tinged red, and I take in his strong jaw and his dark hair. Holy crap is he sexy too. My heart starts to race and I silently beg it to take a breather.
When his eyes find me, he grins. There’s a storm in his gaze that I feel rain down on me. Adrian puts his arm on the opposite side of the doorway. “Well, what do we have here?”
His voice is sexy, which I know he’s doing on purpose, but the alcohol invites it in, lets it seep through me and into me, warm and inviting, before it drags my memory to his kisses.
Kisses I can’t let happen again.
Maybe this is a good thing, fate that he showed up here when I have liquor to give me a loose tongue.
Tonight, I tell myself. Tonight will be the perfect time to tell him.
Chapter Eleven
~Adrian~
“It’s cold! Close the door!” Cheyenne says, her head hanging over Colt’s shoulder as she looks at me. It’s the first time I’ve taken my eyes off Delaney. I definitely didn’t expect to see her when I walked in. Now I’m wishing I didn’t get high as hell before I came.
I look back at her and she’s still giving me the same sexy, flirty little look that I don’t think she realizes is on her face. She’s gorgeous as hell. I’m pretty sure she’s not one of those girls who’s hot and pretends not to know it, but she also doesn’t strike me as the real flirty type. There’s this air of innocence dancing around her that should make me turn away, but instead it intrigues me.
I don’t hang around many innocent girls.
“Adrian! Stop staring at Laney and close the door before I kick your ass,” Cheyenne shouts at me again. Colt’s laughing and walking over to the bed with her in his arms. I shut the door.
I don’t say anything about staring because we all know I was doing it, so instead I look at her. “Laney, huh?”
“Yes. Her name is awesome, but it’s long.” Like hers isn’t.
“It’s okay.” Casper shrugs. “Most people call me Laney.”
“I don’t call you Laney,” I say, because I know she won’t expect it and won’t have an answer.
“Why do you do that? You’re always trying to fluster me.”
Her ghosts are hidden right now, her eyes glassy portals to her soul. “You’re drunk too. Were you guys having a party without us?”
“When did you ever need anyone to wait for you?” Colt’s got Cheyenne on his lap now, his hand on her hip.
“You’re right. Where’s the booze?” I stand up and walk over to the kitchen, which is obviously in the same room we’re already in.
“You don’t need any alcohol. You’re always drinking or smoking something.” Cheyenne watches him.
“I forgot how that was your business,” I reply at the same time that Colt whispers to her, “Hey. Don’t.”
“Why? He’s my friend now, too, remember?”
She’s right on that fact. We are friends.
Colt keeps his eyes on her, though. “Okay, fine. Have a drink. And get me another one while you’re at it,” Cheyenne adds.
I look at her and wink. “Stop trying to get me all liquored up.”
Everyone laughs as if on cue and I want to make a comment about it but don’t. I’m still shocked to come in and find Delaney with Cheyenne. I know they came to my party, but this feels different. If she’s friends with Chey, that means I’ll see more of her…
“Did you get any sleep today?” Delaney asks me.
“A little. I do some work with a mechanic friend of mine and I had to help him out.” I’m sure everyone wonders where my money comes from. The mechanic thing they know about, but I don’t really talk about Lettie.
She gets that womanly look on her face. The one that says she’s concerned or worried when really it’s not that big a deal at all. She doesn’t know me well enough to be concerned anyway. I don’t deserve her concern and I definitely don’t want it.
“Be careful. You look at me like that and I’m liable to think you like me.”
“I thought we were friends? Doesn’t that automatically mean I like you?” she tosses back at me.
“No.” I lean closer. “I mean really like me. You do, don’t you? I see it in your eyes. You want me.” I watch as pink starts at her hairline and then makes the descent down her face. I want to make the same journey down her body, covering and tasting every part of her along the way.
“You’re such a player. Do you ever stop?”
At that, Cheyenne jumps in. I’d almost forgotten they were here. “He’s horrible! I’m always telling him that. Though usually—” When I give her a dirty look, she cuts off. “Not to say I think he’s just using you,” Chey tries to cover.
“Smooth move,” Colt tells her.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not as if it’s some big secret.” One of Casper’s eyebrows lifts as though she’s daring me. Like she wants me to make a liar out of her. Little does she know I’m the biggest liar of them all.
When I say nothing, the expression on Casper’s face changes. It’s the way I wonder if people think I’m looking at them… as if she’s trying to figure me out. Like I’m words on a paper she needs to decode. The need in her sets my desire aflame. I don’t remember ever wanting a girl as much as I want this girl sitting in front of me.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” She uses almost the same words on me as I used on her last night. Only she’s asking, like there’s any fucking chance I’m going to tell her no.
Pushing to my feet, I glance at Colt and Cheyenne. Before I can say anything, Colt looks at me all cocky like he has some shit on me he’s about to spill. “I thought you had people going to your house tonight. You can’t hang out long, ya fucking liar.”
I know exactly what he’s doing. Not long ago we sat around my kitchen table and I told him he was different with Cheyenne. I can see it in his face. This isn’t like that, though. I just want her, and that’s all… isn’t it? That’s all it’s supposed to be and she knows that. “Maybe I have something better to do now.”
“I hope you’re not talking about me?” Casper says with a smile on her face. I didn’t expect that one.
“Oh my God! I love this girl. That totally sounds like something I would say,” Cheyenne adds, and I think she’s right.
“Are we leaving or what?” I ask before they can break into girl time.
“We’re leaving. Thanks for inviting me over, Cheyenne.” Her eyes wander over to Chey, who gets off Colt’s lap to hug her.
“Have fun. Be good,” she tells Casper before turning to hug me too. It catches me slightly off guard. “Be happy,” she whispers in my ear.
Happy. I pull back and look at her, really look and know she sees more than I show. It’s not as if I’m perfect at hiding it, but most people don’t take the chance to look. Colt knows something’s up with me, but he’d never say anything. We’re just not like that, but she’s different.
“I can’t,” I say before pulling away. Delaney is putting her shoes on, so I know she didn’t hear, but I feel Colt’s eyes on me. I know he heard, so without looking back, I head for the door, open it, and wait for Delaney to walk out.