“Okay?” Dad drew out the word. Obviously, he wasn’t getting it.
“No, I mean moving moving. Like, moving away from San Diego.”
Mom gasped. “What?”
“After graduation.”
“Why?” Mom’s eyes were filling with tears, and Dad’s eyebrows were scrunched together.
“It’s just something I need to do.” I shrugged. “Something I want to do.”
“Why would you need to move away?” She started to cry, and I unfolded my arms, reached across, and grabbed her hand.
“Mom, it’s fine. It won’t be forever. I ju—” I broke off quickly and sat back.
“Son.”
I looked back to my dad and sighed “I can’t be around Harper and Brandon. I can’t be around her at all while she’s with him. It’s just too hard. And she’s pretty much a part of this family, and I can’t handle that right now. I’m in love with a girl who will never want me, so for now, I need to go.”
“But how long will be enough for you to be okay with it? What if they stay together? You can’t stay away forever!” Mom was on the verge of hysterics.
“I don’t know.” I looked up to my dad for help, but he was just shaking his head at me, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t even know if I will move. It was just a thought. Mom, seriously, please don’t cry.”
“Just a thought?” She wiped under her eyes and let her hands fall to the table. “Chase, you’re already cutting ties with everyone. This isn’t a thought, you’re already beginning to execute this childish plan of yours!” The chair legs scraped across the tile as she scooted away from the table.
“Ma.”
She swatted my hand away when I reached for her and took off through the living room and up the stairs.
“If you want to be with Harper so bad that you can’t stand to be in the same city as her and her boyfriend,” Dad said, “then you need to fight for her. Not run from her.” He grabbed his briefcase off the table and caught my stare. “Whether she’s dating your best friend or not, she’s close with you, and it would hurt her to have you leave regardless.”
“I really doubt that.”
“So you’re going to punish your mother, me, your sister, and Harper by leaving because you won’t man up and fight for what you want? That’s not how we raised you, Chase.” And with that, he walked out of the kitchen and out the front door.
“Kinda pointless to fight for what you want when what you want continues to break your heart,” I whispered to the empty kitchen.
With a heavy sigh, I pushed away from the table and called Bree as I made my way to my truck.
“WELL WHAT DID you expect me to say? Everyone’s worried about you, and you don’t show up to family day anymore. You’re making Mom sad!”
“Nothing. You say nothing, Breanna. I have my own reasons for doing what I’m doing, and I really don’t need you going to Mom and telling her everything you see or don’t see here, and I sure as shit don’t need you telling her what the guys are saying about me.”
Her eyebrows shot up, and she sucked in a deep breath, but before she could throw her attitude back at me, all the air came whooshing out of her body, and she bit down on her bottom lip, which had started to tremble. Damn it.
“Bree,” I said softly, and rested my forearms on the kitchen table she was sitting at so I was eye level and closer to her.
“You’re my big brother, and I’m worried about you.” She took a shaky breath in, and her eyes glassed over when she looked up at me. “I’m afraid you’re getting into bad things with the way you’ve been acting. Your temper is through the roof, and your mood swings are epic lately. And that’s when we see you. Most the time, you’re gone. I’m worried about what you might be doing . . .” she trailed off.
“Hey.” I kissed the top of her head and hugged her hard before going back to resting on my forearms. “I’m not getting into anything bad, I swear. Nothing illegal, nothing Mom and Dad would be pissed about. I’m just having a hard time dealing with stuff, and I seem to be taking it out on everyone.”
“Well, what are you dealing with?”
I shook my head, “Nothin’ you need to worry about. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll try to be around more—come to family days and shit.”
“ ‘And shit.’ Nice.” She snorted and blinked back the rest of her tears. “All right. If you say there’s nothing going on, then there’s nothing going on. And I’ll try to keep my mouth shut about you around Mom and Dad.”
“I’d appreciate it. Love you, brat.”
Her smile got wide. “Love you too, punk.”
Just then, all the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end, and I wished I had gotten out of there sooner, or that Bree would have been at her dorm rather than my house. I straightened from leaning on the table and tried not to react when I heard her voice.
“Uh, good morning.” Harper said softly.
Bree’s smile got even bigger as she leaned over in the chair to look past me. “Morning, doll! How’d you sleep?”
I didn’t want to see her, but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over my shoulder quickly before looking back at Bree.
“Pretty well,” Harper responded. “You?”
“Excellent.” Bree sounded like she was in a daze, and it didn’t take a genius to know why.
“Ugh, seriously Bree? Save it until I’m gone at least.” I wasn’t dumb, I knew my little sister wasn’t a virgin, but I didn’t want to know about it.
Without another glance at my princess, I took off for the master bedroom and slapped my hand against the door a few times before Brad opened it. His eyes narrowed, and he straightened so we were almost eye to eye, and instantly I knew what he was doing, and my body automatically tensed in preparation. Brad and I had met while working out and training at the same gym, McGowan’s, right after freshman year started at San Diego State University. We were always thrown into the ring together to spar since we were almost identical in height and weight, and had been friends ever since. We’d fought a little here and there in what they called “The Underground” in Southern California. Not exactly legal, great pay, and kept quiet so law enforcement wouldn’t find out. We’d also met Brandon through McGowan’s once he moved here, and had all formed what Bree likes to call a bro-mance through fighting and surfing. I knew I could never actually win a fight against Brandon—the asshole was unstoppable in the ring—and, let’s face it, he’s fuckin’ huge. Only two inches taller, but he’s got forty pounds of muscle on me. So I never expected to win a fight against Brandon, but that’s not why I started them. I just wanted an opportunity to punch the guy I’d come to love like a brother since he was with the girl that had quickly become my everything to me. Brad, though . . . I knew that Brad and I came out pretty even when it came to fighting. We’d been thrown in the ring enough times, never knowing who’d win, and at that moment he was ready to beat the shit outta me from the look of him. But I was done fighting.
I forced my body to relax but noticed Brad’s hands had clenched into fists, and he was still glaring.
“Shouldn’t be taking it out on you.” I shrugged.
“Brandon doesn’t deserve your bullshit, either.”
“I know; he’s not the one I’m mad at.”
Brad’s eyes went wide, and his fists unclenched as he stepped away from the door. He sat on the couch he’d put in his room, and I sat on a chair he had pulled up in front of the TV for gaming. “It’s been nice to not have any fights between the two of you, but your disappearing wasn’t what anyone wanted either.”
I nodded. “Finding it harder and harder to be near them, she’s all I think about anymore. But I know I’m the one who fucked up. I should’ve never pushed her away.”
“I don’t get you, man. You change your life for her, ruin your friendships for her . . . then you disappear for a few weeks, and now you’re just giving up; but you’re still in love with her?” Before I could respond, he shifted forward in the couch, and his voice got low. “Did you see her that weekend?”
My eyes snapped up to meet his, and my mouth fell open, but nothing came out.
“Look, I didn’t want to tell you she was staying because I knew you were going to be running by your parents’ house. That probably makes me just as much of an asshole to Brandon as you’ve been, but you and Harper needed to work this out. And with the depressing bullshit you’d been pulling, I knew you would have stayed away from her. So, did. You. See her?”
We continued to stare at each other before I leaned back in the chair with a groan and raked my hands down my face. “I love her.”
“Know that.”
“She loves me, too.” I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling and kept talking. “Spent that night and the next morning with her.”
“Shit, Chase.”
“And, well, you know everyone came back early. Princess got scared, and went back to Brandon.”
“And you disappeared.”
“Yep.” I sighed heavily and looked back at him. “She said she needed time, but I know she doesn’t. I’ve messed things up with her too much from the beginning for her to come to me.”
“So what are you gonna do now? Keep staying gone?”
“I don’t know. Told Mom and Dad this morning that I was thinking about moving away from San Diego after graduation to get away from them. But I just caught a glimpse of her for the first time in weeks, and I don’t think I can do that. I just can’t stay away from her.”
The door flew open, and Brandon didn’t even enter the room fully as he yelled, “Harper fainted, and she’s not waking up.”