“Oh my God. Carter. You have taken this way out of proportion. I do not want to get out of my marriage and I definitely don’t want to leave Brandon.”
“You left. People don’t just leave their husbands unless something is wrong Blaze.”
I wanted to tell him he should know, but I kept that back, “I didn’t leave Brandon, I just needed a minute to think.”
“About how bad he is for you? He hurt you, that was extremely apparent Saturday night. And did you see him throw his brother into the wall? I know we’ve talked about this before, but he’s dangerous Harper. He’s a fucking bomb just waiting to explode.”
“You’re wrong.” I whispered and shook my head, “You’re so wrong Carter. The few times you’ve hung out with him haven’t been the best times, but even you should see how wrong you are. That night at the party, he didn’t hit you when he had every right to. He let you become a member at his gym and invited you to our home for a barbecue. I have the sweetest, most caring and selfless husband in the world. Yes, he likes to fight, and yes he’s extremely protective of his family. But I love that he is.”
“Blaze, the way he is with you –”
I held up my hand to stop him, “Don’t finish that. Do you not remember me telling you I cheated on him and got pregnant with his friend and housemate? He didn’t even yell at me when he found out Carter. He was devastated, but he didn’t raise his voice or call me a million things that I was already calling myself. Then he took care of me when I wouldn’t take care of myself, and despite everything I did to him, he’s still here with me.”
“So that’s it. You’re with him out of guilt? You feel like you owe him something?”
“Of course not!” I hissed and narrowed my eyes at him, “I love him more than anything. He is everything to me. When we broke up, I felt so lost. I tried moving on with my life the way I knew I should, and I would have happily, had Chase not died. But no matter what, being happy with Chase or not, a few months without Brandon by my side was painful and incomplete. I couldn’t even imagine a life without him.”
“Alright, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that. But that doesn’t change the way he is with you. He doesn’t let a guy even come near you without threatening to beat him to a pulp.”
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, “Not true, only you and Chase. You know how I am Carter, I need to be surrounded by guys. And not in a slutty way. Growing up with hundreds of brothers, it was only natural for me to find all that here. Other than Bree and the girls in her and Brandon’s families, I don’t have female friends. They are all male, and Brandon doesn’t have a problem with that because he knows that’s home for me. There have even been a few that have flirted, and Brandon didn’t do anything other than laugh about it. But you? Well you openly admitted to everyone that you followed me across the country and that you were in love with me. Even if you lied about it, and I bought it, he knew from the beginning what was going on. And to make it worse, he and Chase were already constantly fighting over me. Which I also had no idea about. I found that out not long ago by accident.” Taking a deep breath, I sank into the cushions and covered myself with a blanket, “So he tried to keep the two guys that also loved me away from me, what boyfriend wouldn’t?”
“He’s possessive. That can be dangerous.”
I made a pfft sound and smirked at him, “Possessive? Hardly. He knew I didn’t like you in that way, so he made sure to keep you the hell off me, which I really appreciated. If you want to take that as possessive, be my guest. But he had every right to at least punch you that night, and he didn’t do anything other than keep you away. And you know what? He knew I was in love with Chase too, and without even confronting Chase, he quietly stepped back so we could be together. I’m pretty sure that’s the exact opposite of a possessive man.”
“Seriously?”
I nodded and smiled at his taken aback expression.
He thought for a few minutes and finally blurted out, “Did you have to marry a damn saint Blaze?”
“Saint, huh? I thought he was a possessive ticking time bomb?”
“Well, it was supposed to help my argument.” He winked and laughed softly.
“Oh, Carter. What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me?”
“Uh…no.” I laughed at his playfully hurt expression, “Nice try though.” When our laughter quieted, I said in a soft voice, “He really is amazing Carter.”
“I know.” The corner of his mouth tilted up in a sad smile, “I wish it were me Blaze. I’ll always wish it was me instead of him. But I know he’s good for you and your baby.”
“Babies.”
“What? You’re pregnant again?” His face was pained through his smile for me, “Well damn. I guess I really don’t have a shot with you now.”
I knew he was joking, but I stayed serious, “You need to find someone who is good for you too. I know she’s out there somewhere.”
“But all I see is you. For the last three years, all I’ve seen was you Blaze.”
“You have to stop. You need to know that it’s never going to happen between us, and start living your life for you. And not a life where you wait for something to separate Brandon and me, because that will never happen. Get out there, date some girls, and find the one that was meant for you. I do love you Carter, but it’s never been the way you want it. So find someone that you love, and loves you the way Brandon and I love each other.”
“Maybe one day I will.” He said doubtfully.
“I hope you do.” I yawned and got off the couch, wrapping the blanket tighter around me, “Now get out of my house so I can go back to sleep with my husband or I’ll kick your ass.”
“Puh-lease. Preggos aren’t supposed to kick ass. Isn’t it bad for the baby or something?”
“Well fine, then I’ll let Brandon do it.”
“Alright, alright. I’m leaving!” He hugged me close, and kept me in his arms a little too long for comfort, “I really am glad you’re happy Blaze. Believe it or not, that’s all I really want for you.”
“I want that for you too.”
“Maybe someday.” Kissing the top of my head, he released me and grabbed the doorknob. “Will I get to see you again soon?”
“We’re having Liam’s birthday party Saturday at two.”
He smiled and chuckled, “Birthday party, alright sounds good.”
“Kate will be there.”
“Yeah?” His eyes flashed and his smile changed into something I’d seen thousands of times from Chase and Brandon, “I uh – I got her number. Would that bother you if I called her?”
“Why else do you think I’d invite you to a family party?”
His eyes unfocused for a minute, when they came back to me, he grimaced, “Blaze…”
“Don’t Carter. If you have no interest in Kate, that’s fine and don’t feel forced to come on Saturday. But you need to start moving on.”
“I do. Like her, I mean. She was great to hang out with, she’s really funny and gorgeous. But – never mind. You’re right. I’ll be here Saturday.” With one last longing glance, he half waved and opened the door, “Night Blaze.”
“Bye.” I shut the door behind him with a tired sigh and went about shutting off the lights. When I turned toward the hall, Brandon was leaning against the wall in nothing but a pair of dark boxer briefs. Dear Lord my husband is sexy.
“Once again, I have to give him credit, the guy has got serious balls for bashing me in my own house.” His smile was wide as he pulled me into his arms.
“He’s ridiculous. Sorry if we were too loud, I didn’t know who was at the door and when I saw it was him I figured I’d let you keep sleeping.”
“You didn’t wake me up, my stomach did. I haven’t eaten since you left.”
“Brandon!”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything Harper. All I could do or think about was finding you and hating myself for pushing you away.”
“I was being rash,” I whispered into his chest, “I shouldn’t have left, it was immature and hateful. I just thought if you would put yourself in a position where we could lose you, I wanted you to know what it felt like to have us gone.”
His breath caught in his throat and his arms tightened around me.
“I’m so sorry baby, but I also needed you to have time to figure out if you would rather have a life without us. Because that’s what it felt like you wanted when you made your mind up. And so, of course, I made it worse by trying to hurt you back, instead of talking it out with you.”
“Don’t apologize. Don’t leave me again, but don’t apologize.”
“I’m –”
“Nope.” He pressed his lips against my own, and spoke around our kiss, “No more sorrys.”
I grumbled but leaned up onto the balls of my feet to deepen the kiss until his stomach growled, “Okay. Food. What do you want?”
“Uh –” He raised his hands above his head to stretch and my eyes hungrily raked over his long toned body, “you if you keep looking at me like that.”
Grinning, I placed a soft kiss right below his chest, but pulled away before I got lost in his body, “You need actual food first, how does Chinese sound?”
His stomach growled again in response and he led me into the kitchen to find the take out menu. I scowled at Brandon when he sat me back on the counter, but ordered our food and handed him the phone when I was done.
“They’ll be here within thirty minutes.”
“Half an hour?” He mused and his eyes heated as he scooted me forward so my bottom was barely on the edge of the counter. My breaths came quicker when he pressed himself against me and moved the collar of his shirt I was wearing to nibble his way from my neck to shoulder. Catching the band of his boxer briefs with my toe, I pushed down and a sound that warmed my body escaped his chest, “That should be enough time.”