I'd refused Nathanial's blood tonight. If I was strong enough to be up and about, it was time for me to get my own dinner. Bobby was staying with us, which had been a total surprise when I'd walked into the front study and found him asleep on the couch. He'd checked out the woods around Nathanial's house. They were full of snow hares, deer, and several other animals of prey. The selection sounded good to me. If it was possible for me to survive on the blood of animals, that was definitely my goal. With me taking the blood and Bobby the meat, there wasn't a chance in the world of me accidentally creating another rogue. Besides, I'd had enough of a peek into the minds of men for one lifetime.
Gil had stopped by to check on me. Apparently she'd dropped in a couple of times while I was sleeping, but I was only awake for her latest visit. Friend or researcher? I still wasn't sure about her. I'd never wondered what a lab rat felt like, but lucky me, I got to find out anyway. She had a theory; something about my cat going into shock when I became a vampire. She was planning a meditation regimen she wanted me to try which she hoped would help me reconnect. My claws had retracted during the first day, and thus far I hadn't been able to summon them again. Still, claws were a pretty damn good sign that I might shift again one day. I was willing to give Gil's program a try.
I rolled a blue marble across my palm, then tried to slide it into my pocket before remembering I was only in one of Nathanial's white shirts. I'd tried to get more fully dressed, but anything else felt like salt on my wounds. I had debated not wearing anything, but I didn't think Nathanial would be happy to find me wandering outside naked. He'd finally bought me some underwear, not that the stringy garments covered anything. We were scheduled to go shopping as soon as I stopped looking like road kill.
Regan walked up to the door and stuck his big head out. He stared at me and made a pitiful whining sound. I cringed and gently but firmly pushed the door shut again. Hopefully all he'd been trying to tell me was that he didn't approve of my letting the cold air in. He might have been wondering when Nathanial would return. I know I was.
I stared at the sky, but couldn't make out anything but the snow falling from the low-hanging clouds. Even if the sky had been clear, I wouldn't have seen much. Nathanial would be using his illusion trick, thus making himself invisible, and it was the night of the new moon, so she wouldn't be visible tonight either. Even though I knew it was hopeless, I continued watching the sky for some sign Nathanial was coming home.
It had surprised me when Nathanial agreed to fly Bobby to the city and back, but I guess there wasn't any other practical way to get to and from Nathanial's house. Both of them had business in the city tonight, so it had made sense at the time, but I was frightfully lonely.
I'd clearly become too accustomed to company.
Bobby had needed to meet with the other hunters to arrange Lorna and Candice's abduction from the hospital before the full moon. Katie, too. She had to be monitored. If any of the girls shifted, it would be disastrous if the shift happened in public. Of course, if they didn't shift, and Candice or Lorna were still in critical condition, removing them from the hospital might mean their death.
I wasn't sure what the percentage of people who survived a shifter attack were tagged. No matter what, I felt responsible for their conditions, and it ate at my conscience. At the same time, I had the poisonous thoughts of the rogues fluttering around in my mind. They had enjoyed the torment they'd caused. I was a little afraid I might start to think like Tyler one day. I felt him lurking in the back of my mind, but Nathanial claimed the memories would fade. That really didn't alleviate the fear.
Didn't matter. I had lots to fear. Like the full moon, two weeks from now.
Bobby still insisted that I return Firth. He'd pointed out that going back would solve my hunter problem. That would be good, but how could I face my father and tell him what I'd become? Nathanial enthusiastically encouraged the trip, in fact, he wanted to go as well. A prospect both Bobby and I firmly rejected. Of course, I'd dug my claws and teeth into Nathanial several times, so there was a chance he'd been tagged. I shivered. There were two more weeks to fret over it still, and there were other things to worry about before then.
The vampires expected me to make an appearance at their council in the coming nights. I was exempt tonight only because of my recent injury. Before I returned to Death's Angel, I needed to have a serious talk with Nathanial about what to expect, and what I really shouldn't do if I didn't want to end up in a fight. Not that, even knowing what not to do, I could always hold my tongue.
I rubbed my low back through the shirt. I still bore the judge's mark. I'd hoped it would disappear, but I'd watched the snakes slither over each other for a long time in Nathanial's bedroom mirror earlier. I had to admit it was beautiful, if terribly creepy, but the mark wasn't fading away, so the judge was probably serious when he threatened to call on me again. I only hoped that if he showed up again, it would be with a job assignment for me, and not because he'd gotten my protected status revoked.
I sighed and pushed off the porch. As long as I didn't do anything stupid, and the judge didn't win his appeal, I was immortal, but unlike Nathanial, that prospect didn't make me any more patient.
There was an itch in me that wanted to move on, to leave this city behind. Not just because I wanted to forget about being a vampire, or the rogues either. Perhaps Nathanial was right, maybe I was afraid to trust or need other people. But here I was, waiting anxiously for others to return.
I paced a trench in front of Nathanial's porch. The snow crunched under my bare feet. It would have been easy, with everyone gone, to run into the woods and disappear. I glanced across the snowy plain to the woods beyond. They crooned a song of freedom. I breathed in the sappy scent of the evergreens, listened for the sound of nocturnal life. I could just walk away.
Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow night, or the one after. I sighed. A catnap by the fire would be nice, at least until the guys returned.
After all, it had been a while since I'd had a home.