“How would you even know? Oh…that’s right. You’re a badass. How could I forget?”
Ouch.We were back to the jokes that I was a virgin. Fucking awesome. I took the cup from Trish’s hand and drank down some liquid courage before handing it back to her. “Only one way to find out,” I said with a wink, as Trish grinned widely.
I walked over to the coffee table and watched for a moment as the guys took turns rolling the dice and yelled each time they stopped.
“Looks fun,” I hollered over the music, and the hot guy looked up and nodded. His eyes traveled down my body and back up with a smile.
“Want to play?” His dark hair hung over his eyes, but he kept it swept to the side. His arms were thick and muscular, and I imagined he was a football player or something equally as physical.
“I think I’ll just watch for a bit.”
“You want a drink or something?” he asked.
I knew better. I knew Brock would be absolutely livid. But he wasn’t here. He broke his promise of forever. I glanced over my shoulder at Trish, avoiding Abel as I looked back to mystery guy and nodded.
“I’m Delilah.”
“Hey, there, Delilah.” He laughed as he sang the song title, and I fought against rolling my eyes. He was kind of a douche. “I’m James.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“I’ll go grab that drink. Wait here.”
“OK,” I whispered, as he set off toward the kitchen, and I was left awkwardly watching a bunch of drunken strangers play dice. Trish dragged Abel over, and her eyes were lit up like she had just spotted some unattended drugs.
“So?” she asked.
“He seems nice.” I nodded. “He went to get me a drink.”
“He’s a gentleman!” she squealed.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Abel glared down at me.
“What?” Trish and I asked in unison.
“You’re going to let some strange guy pour your drink?”
“He’s not strange. He’s nice,” I replied defensively. I knew I was being stupid, but I was tired of everyone telling me what was best for me.
“Every guy is nice when he’s trying to fuck you,” Abel sneered. My smile fell, and I felt everyone turn to listen to our conversation. “God, you’re like a fucking child. Do I really need to baby‐sit you again?”
James appeared at my side as he looked back and forth between Abel and me with a plastic cup in his hand. “You all right?” he asked, and Abel took the cup from him and placed it on the coffee table.
“She’s fine. This conversation doesn’t concern you.”
“I was asking Delilah.” James didn’t back down from Abel’s menacing tone, but he didn’t look at him either. He kept his eyes locked on mine for an answer.
“You all right, Delilah?” Abel said my name as if it were a curse word, and I flinched, feeling like I’d been physically hit. “Tell you what.” He turned to look at James as he picked up the cup. “Why don’t you drink this, James?”
“I got my own, man. What’s your fucking problem?”
Abel’s eyes met mine, a faint smile on his lips, as if he had proven his point. “What’s my problem?” He repeated the words as his eyes searched mine.
“I’m fine. I have to go. You’re welcome to join me, James.” I looked at Trish, who seemed completely confused, then up to Abel, who was ready for a fight. I shoved past him and worked my way toward the front door with James trailing behind me. I was out in the warm night air before the sadness rose, and I wished I hadn’t told James to follow me.
“What the hell was that?” he asked, as he pointed over his shoulder to the house.
“Just a…misunderstanding.” I shook my head as I ran my hand over my forehead. “Can you take me home?”
“Of course.” He smirked, and my stomach turned.
James pulled a set of keys from his pocket and hit a button on the key chain. A car across the street beeped, and the lights flashed, signaling it was now unlocked.
I crossed the street and didn’t give a second thought to slipping into the passenger seat. Abel appeared on the porch of the house, and when he saw us, he ran across the road.
“I just want to go to my place,” I told James, who still had his door open. “Alone.”
“Oh, come on, baby. The night is young.”
“Get out of the fucking car, Lie.” Abel was next to James’s door, his jaw clenched in anger.
“She wants to go home with me, bro. Better luck next time,” James shot back, but Abel ignored him, glancing around his side to see my face.
“Is this really what you want?” Abel asked, and I glanced at James. I sat back in my seat and turned to look out the front window.
“Take me home, James.”
“Don’t worry, man. I’ll call you later.” James closed the door, and his comment didn’t make any sense. I turned to him, confusion written on my face as he flipped through his keys.
“What do you mean ‘call him later’? You know him?”
James laughed and shook his head as he stuck the key in the ignition. “Everyone knows Abel.”
It dawned on me that James probably was referring to buying drugs from him, and I’d wished I hadn’t been so fucking stubborn and had listened for once. As the headlights came on and illuminated Abel, my eyes were drawn to the shiny metal object in his right hand.
“Fuck. Who are you to him?” James asked nervously. I glanced at him, unable to form words as his door was pulled open and he was ripped from his seat. Abel shoved him against the frame of the door, the gun pressed into the underside of his chin.
“I’m only going to say this once. If you ever come near Delilah again, I’ll make the beating you took over Becca look like a fucking birthday party.”
The memories of my past flooded my mind, leaving me paralyzed in fear.
“I won’t come near her, man. Fuck.” James raised his hands in surrender, and Abel gripped the collar of his shirt. Abel shoved him hard against the car and rounded the car to my side. He yanked open my door and held out his hand to me.
“Let’s go, Kettle. I’m not asking you this time.”
My gaze fell to the gun in his hand, and I couldn’t breathe. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed in my chest. Abel’s eyes followed mine, and he tucked the gun into the front of his jeans.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Lie. You can trust me,” he said, as he pulled his shirt over the weapon, hiding it from view.
“I’m not going to make that mistake twice.” I cowered away from him, and he took a step back as he ran his hand over his hair.
“I couldn’t let you leave with him. You don’t know what kind of person he is.”
“But you do, don’t you?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Because you’re just like him.” I glanced up in time to see his expression soften, replaced by regret.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“Let me save you the trouble of history repeating itself. I’m not worth it.” I stood, and he took a step back, looking as confused as I felt. I started to walk toward my apartment, no longer caring what might be lurking in the shadows.
I was two blocks away from the party when my phone rang. I ignored it and kept walking as fast as I could. Two blocks farther, and my phone had rung no less than three times and vibrated half a dozen. I crossed the street and dipped down an alley just to be sure that if anyone came looking for me, they wouldn’t find me. I needed some time to myself as I sank into my memories.
Going back to school after I had run away only seemed to amplify my loser status. I didn’t fit in with anyone, and I gave up trying.
I skipped school on most days, but the hunger pains began to outweigh the sadness, and I was forced to show my face just so I could have lunch. I sat in the far corner of the cafeteria with the other kids who were deemed too uncool to be seen with.
I took a bite of my Mexican pizza and dropped it onto my tray, careful not to look up from the table. Making eye contact with any of the other students was an invitation to start trouble in their eyes. Today I didn’t need to, though, because they sought me out.
“Do you try to look hideous on purpose, or were you born that ugly?” Shelly said, as she stood on the opposite side of the table. I didn’t look up, and she grew more frustrated with my lack of a response. “I asked you a question, freak.”
I wiped the crumbs from my hands and took a deep breath as I finally met her glare. She pushed her long blond hair over her shoulder and smirked.
“What’s your problem with me?” My voice was shaky, and I cleared my throat.
“My problem? I have to look at your stupid face every day. How am I supposed to keep my lunch down with your stupid face right here?”
I felt everyone’s eyes on me as Shelly’s voice grew louder. If I didn’t leave now, I’d cry, and that would give them more ammunition. I pushed myself up from my seat and grabbed my tray. “I’m done now,” I told her, “so you can go back to eating.”
Shelly laughed as two girls appeared at her side and joined in.
“You know…” She placed her hands on the table and leaned in closer to me. “You could spare us all and just kill yourself. It’s not like anyone wants you here.”
“Her own stupid mom doesn’t even want her,” Keri added, and I felt like I was going to be physically ill.
I looked to the boy who sat in front of me. He was eating his food as if he were oblivious to the torture I was enduring. Even he knew I wasn’t worth standing up for.
“Maybe I’ll do that.” I grabbed my tray and hurried to the trashcans by the door, where I dumped my food and dashed into the hall. My feet picked up pace when I was out of sight from the bullies, and I ran toward the emergency exit at the end of the hall, desperate to get outside before I began to sob.
It took only another ten minutes to reach my apartment, and I was thankful Abel’s car wasn’t out front. I stomped up the steps and into my room, anger flowing from every pore. I wanted to break something; I wanted to show everyone I wasn’t a fucking kid, but I barely owned anything, and what little I did I couldn’t part with. My phone rang again, and I answered it, ready to snap.
“What?” I yelled, as I slammed my bedroom door behind me and paced toward the living room.
“Are you home?” Abel sounded just as angry.
“Fuck you.” I hung up, and the rang again before I could slip it into my pocket.
“Are. You. Home?” He paused between each word, and I knew he was trying to keep his cool.
“Oh, you want to come save me now? Is this the game you’re playing? You can’t be both the hero and the villain.”
“Unlock the door.”
I glanced toward the front door, and my heart jumped in my chest. I knew I should run up to it and turn the deadbolt, but my feet didn’t move. “It’s unlocked.”
The line went dead, and a few moments later, Abel walked through and straight down the hallway toward me.
“What are you trying to prove?” I asked him. “I’m not as cool as you? I’m not as pretty as Trish? I fucking get it. I get it. You can stop now.”
He stepped right in front of me, and I had to bend my neck to look up at him. “You want to get raped at a fucking party to prove you’re popular?”
“You had no right to talk to me that way. What I do is none of your fucking business!” I poked my finger into his chest, and he wrapped his hand around my wrist, jerking it away to stop me.
“Is it Brock’s business? Were you thinking about him at all while you were busy trying to become a statistic?” His grip on my wrist tightened.