I didn’t respond, and he pulled me against his chest and hugged me tightly.
“If he would have hurt you…” He whispered into my hair, and I smiled fractionally. It was nice to know that even with all of our secrets being revealed, Jacob wasn’t going anywhere. He was willing to accept me for who I was, even if it meant we would never be together. I pulled back and wiped a tear from my eye.
“So, this Nat girl?” I raised my eyebrow, and he laughed as he shook his head.
“She’s not you.” His smile fell, and there was a pregnant pause as we looked at each other.
“She nice to you?”
“Yeah. Nicer than I deserve.”
“You’re a good person, Jake. You just need to see it for yourself.”
“She’s,” he laughed, “constantly ragging on me for smoking.”
“Good.” I nodded as I grabbed his hand again and laid my head on his shoulder. “I’d like to meet her sometime.”
The sound of a throat clearing caused me to jump. I gazed up at Connor’s smiling face. “Can I have a minute alone with my daughter?”
My heart leapt in my throat at him calling me his daughter. He was a great man and there were no words for what he meant to me, but this was the first time he had called me daughter without it protecting a lie.
“You know they all know now,” I said as I pushed to my feet.
“That doesn’t mean we aren’t family anymore, Annabel. It’s just changed a little.” I stepped into his arms, and he hugged me tightly. Another set of arms wrapped around me from behind and I knew from the smell of baby powder it was Grace.
“Sweet girl.” She cried as they cocooned me in their love. Connor pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and as they released me, his hand curled around hers.
“I’m good at keeping secrets, Annie, but come on.”
I bit back a laugh as they looked at each other with affection. “How long has this been going on?” I asked.
“It’s been a crazy week for all of us,” Connor laughed, and it turned into a cough. Grace placed her hand on his chest as she overworried about his health.
We spent hours with the police and Connor by our side, retelling the horror story that was Colin’s life, omitting some of the more horrific details.
When all was said and done, we were allowed to go back to Connor’s so I could shower and sleep. I scrubbed my skin with nearly scalding hot water for what felt like an hour to rid my flesh of any trace of blood. Colin leaned against the sink, not wanting to leave me out of his sight, and I was grateful. He respected my modesty and kept his gaze downcast. I dried off and pulled on jeans and a tank top so I could go down to the kitchen and eat a salad. He took the seat next to me at the large table but did not eat a bite, his hand resting on my thigh as if to make sure I was really there.
The entire situation had exhausted me, and I felt like I could slip into a coma. Colin lifted me into his arms, cradling me as we made the trek back to my room.
He laid me down on my bed, and I rolled to my side as he pulled the comforter over my body.
“Sweet dreams.”
“Wait,” I called after him, and he stopped in the doorway, turning back to me slowly. “Please don’t go.”
“I wasn’t going anywhere.” He pushed the door closed and took a seat in the leather wingback chair next to the door.
Later I awoke, covered in a thin sheen of sweat as I gasped for breath. I sat up and threw my covers off my legs.
“You all right?” Colin leaned forward out of the shadows.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, pushing my hair from my face as I struggled to slow my heart rate, terrified that he somehow knew what was playing in my mind.
“You were having a nightmare. I was worried.”
“It wasn’t about…Taylor.” I looked over at him as confusion marred his chiseled face. He stood slowly and walked toward my bed.
“What was it about?” he asked as he sat down on the end of my bed, never breaking eye contact. I watched the column of his throat move as he swallowed hard, the realization that I remembered something from our past dawning on him. “Annie…” His voice trailed off as he reached out and ran the pad of his finger along the length of my eyebrow. “Tell me.”
I looked down at my lap as I wove my fingers together. “That night…in bed.” The images that plagued my mind were too embarrassing to speak out loud.
Colin expelled a heavy breath as he rested his head in his hands. “Jesus Christ, Annie.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” He shook his head as he looked over at me in shock. “It wasn’t your fault. You’re the only person…” His breathing was heavy, and he sounded like he was on the verge of a panic attack. “I’ll never forgive myself.” His voice rose with each word.
“I’m sorry.” But I wasn’t feeling scared; the familiar warmth in that memory had settled over me. I felt safe.
He looked terrified. “I can’t lose you.” He shook his head.
I pushed forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face against his chest. “You won’t. I promise.” I squeezed him tightly. His body froze for a moment before he slowly lifted his arms and wrapped them around me, his palms sliding across my spine.
“I don’t know what I would do if I lost you,” he whispered into my hair before pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
Pulling my cheek from his chest, I slowly looked up at him. He lowered his face toward mine but hesitated, his sweet breath whispering across my lips. I stretched toward him and pressed my mouth softly against his, nodding to let him know that I wasn’t going to change my mind. Slowly, I climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist.
“Aghh,” I panted as his length pressed against me. He pulled down on my body, adding more pressure between my legs.
“There’s no one to interrupt us this time. You need to tell me no now if you don’t want to do this.” His voice was thick and gravelly. I rolled my hips as his hand went into my hair and fisted. “Not like this.” His arms tightened as he moved me farther up the bed, lying down on top of me. The length of his hardness pressing against me set my body on fire. His mouth was on mine again, kissing me with a forcefulness I had never experienced. My lips felt swollen and tender against his as his fingers trailed up my side, pushing my tank top up and leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. His thumb rolled over my nipple, causing it to harden, and I pushed my chest into his touch as he rocked against me.
My fingers gripped his muscular shoulders, my nails pressing into his flesh. “I want this. I want you.” I moaned as he lifted his weight slightly to pull my shirt up farther, so our naked flesh touched.
“Patience, little one. I want to take my time with you.” He trailed kisses along my jaw to the sensitive spot just below my ear. “I want to taste every inch of you.” The tip of his tongue ran over the shell of my ear as he whispered, “You’re such a pretty little thing.”
“Don’t…don’t say that,” I panted, pushing against his shoulders.
His lifted his head and looked me in the eye, his face somber. “You remember a lot more than you let on.”
Chapter 25 - Colin
I could see the fear in her wide eyes as she looked up at me like a deer cornered by a predator, hoping its insatiable hunger would be overpowered by a sudden moral justness. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on. The things I’d experienced as a child had changed me. It wasn’t an excuse; it was a fact that I’d had come to terms with a long time ago. I wasn’t proud of my overwhelming desire to control, manipulate, and dominate. But I enjoyed it. Still, I was torn when it came to Annie. I wanted to protect her, just not as badly as I wanted to fuck her.
Own her.
Possess her.
“Annie…” I began to lift myself off her, desperate to gain a little distance and hopefully some clarity. “This is a mistake. You’re not the type of girl…” My voice trailed off at the memory of her pressed against my bedroom wall. My gaze fell to Annie’s naked chest as her heavy breathing was causing it to rise and fall rapidly. My cock strained against my jeans, and my evil thoughts were winning against the good. They always did. Annie raised her hand and tentatively touched my chest, warmth spreading across my skin. I grabbed her wrist and pinned it beside her head as I dropped my hips back down on her, causing her to gasp in shock. I couldn’t make love to her. There was only one way I could take her, and she deserved so much better.
“You have no idea what you’re doing.” I skimmed my nose along her jaw as I breathed in the sweet honey smell of her skin. “Please don’t let me do this to you,” I whispered, my lips moving against the soft flesh of her neck. I could feel her pulse racing, and it only amplified my desire for her. I wanted her to fight, to tell me not to do these things, but it wouldn’t stop them from happening. It was inevitable. I closed my eyes; the forbidden nature of our encounter was something I had dreamed about since the day she had caught me in the shower, and if I was honest, since our lives first intertwined. It was always meant to be this way. She was always meant to be mine.
“You don’t want me?” she asked, and my eyes snapped open at the sadness and need in her small voice.
“You have no idea how badly I want you. You’re all I want, but you deserve so much more.” It was almost painful to say the words out loud. “I want you to stay pure. You’re an innocent, untainted soul.” I brushed my nose against hers. At least if she fought against me she would be a victim and not an accomplice to my immorality.
“I’m not innocent, Colin.” She took her free hand and slowly slid it over her breast as she looked me in the eye, her teeth grazing her lower lip. I let my eyes skim lower, watching as her trembling fingers slid over her creamy skin. I knew I no longer had a choice. I was going to take her, and I hoped I’d be able to control myself enough not to hurt her, although the damage would be done either way.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me.” I released her wrist and sat up with my knees on either side of her body. My hands fell to the button of my jeans, and her eyes followed. Her hand stilled on her chest as she watched me warily.
“I trust you,” she said as I slid my zipper down slowly.
“Don’t.” I pushed my hand down beneath my boxer briefs and gripped my hardened cock in my fist, a shuddering sigh escaping my lips.
Annie lifted up on her elbows, her eyes questioning as she met mine under dusty lashes. I was curious to see how far she was willing to go to prove to me that she could handle this—that is, until she realized she deserved better. I ran my hand over her soft blond curls, letting the silken strands slip through my fingers. “What’s wrong?” I twisted a lock around my finger and closed my fist.
“I just…” Her voice trailed off, and her gaze went unfocused, second-guessing herself. It was something I’d seen a dozen times before. It wasn’t as easy for others to accept the darker side of themselves. Most liked to cling to the notion that hesitation still marked the presence of morality. Deep down we were all just selfish animals. We liked to take…or be taken. Annie had learned very young that sexual acts weren’t always consensual or out of want, but her ultimate enjoyment of what we were forced to do had shaped how she would forever view sex, view me.
I tightened my fist and pulled down gently, angling her head up to mine as I sank closer to her face. “Do you want me to take away your choice?” My voice was low, thick with desire.
Her eyes darted to the side, but I didn’t miss the wave of shame. I gave a more forceful tug with my fist, and her eyes flicked back to mine. “Little one.” It was a natural part of who she was. That was why she struggled to play the role of popular rich girl. She wasn’t a leader; she wanted to follow. She wanted to hide behind her resistance in order to mask her guilt.