“You said you would never forget me.” She pulled back slowly and placed her hand on my chest. I felt my heart rate speed up, and the machine next to my bed beeped at the increase. I pushed her tangled hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She was so broken…so delicate.
The doctor returned with a nurse, and I forced myself to take my eyes off Emma. “Well, looks like you two have been getting reacquainted.” She looked down at her lap as she slid off the bed and leaned up against the wall. The nurse stepped between us and handed me a small cup of pills. I dumped them in my mouth as I watched the frightened woman against the wall. She was hurting, and I had the overwhelming urge to protect her, but I didn’t know where to begin if I couldn’t even remember how we had known each other.
The doctor began to speak, and I tried to focus on his instructions as the medicine slowly began to kick in, and the throbbing became a dull ache in the back of my mind.
“I don’t expect the memory loss to be long term. It is not uncommon for a head trauma such as the one you received. You’ll need to call me if the headaches worsen or if you have any problems with your vision.” He turned to look at Emma who was lost in her own thoughts and staring out at nothing. “I’m sure Ms. Townsend will be helping you to make the transition as smooth as possible. She will need to take it easy as well.”
The room fell silent as all eyes were on Emma. She looked up and shook her head in a daze. “I’m sorry?”
“You will be helping him with his transition at home, correct?”
She wiped a stray tear that clung to her bottom lashes and nodded her head in agreement. I couldn’t understand why, if we were so close, she seemed to hesitate at the idea of taking care of me. Not that I expected anyone to. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone else.
“Good. All looks well, and we should be able to have you out of here in no time.”
“Thank you.”
The doctor smiled down at me before he and the nurse left the room, leaving me alone with Emma. I watched her as she looked around nervously before making her way over to a chair on the other side of my bed. She grabbed her purse, dug around in it, and pulled out a set of keys. She avoided looking at me, and her dark hair hung down, partially blocking my view of her face, but I could tell she was sad. And it seemed more about being around me than the accident we had together.
I wasn’t stupid, and I knew I had done something pretty terrible to make her react that way to someone who had just come out of a coma. She was struggling to not break down, and now I was supposed to have her come home with me and take care of me. I thought about calling my parents to see if they would mind taking a few days off and fly out to see me, but spending any time with my father was fucking torture, and I wanted to be alone with Emma.
It was odd they weren’t here already, and that made me doubt how close I could possibly be to this woman.
A nurse came in the room with two trays of food, and I suddenly realized how hungry I was. I grabbed my fork and began to dive into the Salisbury steak. It wasn’t the best food in the world, but cardboard would have been satisfying at that point. I watched Emma push her food around the plate, not taking a bite. I knew it wasn’t gourmet, but it was better than nothing, and she looked like she was too thin as it was.
“You should eat something.” I smiled as her head tilted up, and her beautiful eyes locked on to mine. She cut off a small bite and stuck it in her mouth but didn’t say a word.
Whatever I had done to her, it was probably for the best that I didn’t know what it was. We sat in silence for the next few hours. The television mounted in the corner of the room provided a little background noise to keep it from being completely awkward. I couldn’t keep my mind off the stranger who kept me company. I wanted to ask her how we had met or what the nature of our relationship was, but I knew it would probably upset her further. It was strange looking at someone for what felt like the first time, but knowing that there was a deeper connection there.
As it grew later, I watched her curl up in a chair next to my bed, fresh tears in her eyes. I knew I needed to send her home. I couldn’t make her suffer any longer at my side.
“Emma…” I struggled to find the words to thank her and ask her to leave without sounding like an asshole.
“Good night,” she called out without looking up at me. She tucked her legs into her chest and closed her eyes.
It didn’t take me long to drift off to sleep. I dreamed I was standing along the side of a highway with sheets of rain pouring down on me. Lightning flashed, and thunder rumbled deep and low. Through the noise, I could hear tires screeching across asphalt and the sound of a horrifying car accident.
I ran out into the rain, searching for the vehicle, unable to see through all the rain. My body collided with the mangled remains of a small black car, and as I wiped my hand over the window, I saw my own lifeless body hunched over the wheel with smatters of blood across my face.
I jerked awake, my eyes landing on the chair where Emma slept curled in a ball. Her eyes fluttered open as if she felt me looking at her. I smiled, and she sucked her lower lip between her teeth as she pushed herself up and stretched her arms.
I wanted to ask her about the dream, about the accident, but I knew she was dreading being with me, and I didn’t want to upset her more.
After a few hours of being examined and given enough instructions to fill a book, I was told I could finally go home.
Emma looked relieved, and she gathered our things as quickly as possible so we could get out of there.
The ride home didn’t help to jog my memory. It was incredibly frustrating to know that my own mind was working against me. I wondered if what had happened was so traumatic that I was protecting myself. If that was the case, why couldn’t I force my mind to open up?
“Not much farther,” Emma said as she looked over at me. I glanced out the windshield, wishing something made sense, but it was all a blank. At least I wasn’t alone.
Chapter Fifteen
We pulled into the first floor of an old warehouse. I’d always wanted to convert an old building into a home. I glanced at the staircase ahead of us.
“This is ours?” I asked as I glanced over to her. She smiled as she tucked her hair behind her ear and dropped her gaze to her feet.
“This is yours. I live…somewhere else.”
I felt like an asshole for assuming that we had lived together. Perhaps we were just really good friends. But even with no memory, I knew that my chest wouldn’t tighten every time I looked into her eyes if she weren’t someone important to me. I knew she wouldn’t be having such a hard time being around me if that were the case. Unless…did she blame me for the accident? Had I done something reckless or driven with her while I had been drinking? No. I would be in jail if that were the case.
I walked up the staircase with Emma behind me. As I reached a door at the first landing, I paused. “This it?” She nodded, and my eyes travelled up the next set of stairs. “What’s up there?”
Her cheeks tinged pink, and her gaze dropped for a fraction of a second. “It’s under construction.”
She was lying. I kept my eyes locked on her as I ran my hand through my hair and took a step to the side so she could unlock the door. She did, letting her hair fall over her face to block my stare. I took note that she had used a key from her own key ring to unlock the door. We are definitely more than friends.
She pushed open the door and stepped to the side so I could enter. I took in the large space that seemed vaguely familiar. Emma walked inside and tossed her purse on the island in the kitchen before pulling open the fridge. “What do you think?” She asked as I watched how comfortable she was in my space. “Do you want something?” She stood with a soda in her hand. I had the fading glimpse of a memory, but my head throbbed as I tried to focus.
“A soda would be fine.” I smiled over at her, and she returned the gesture as she grabbed another can from the fridge. She set it on the island behind her, and I walked over to grab it as I noticed the faint smell of flowers that lingered in my apartment. It smelled like her, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you.” Her cheeks tinged pink again, and I ran my hand through my hair, wishing I could see all the pieces to the puzzle.
“You’re welcome.” She turned back to the fridge as she gazed in at the contents.
“You seem to know your way around here.” I cocked my head to the side as I tried to picture us together, but everything was fuzzy, and she was not offering up any information. I didn’t want to press her and upset her like she had been at the hospital.
“I’ve spent a lot of time here.” Her face gave nothing away as she grabbed a few items from the fridge and set them on the counter between us. She grabbed a few plates and a knife and began preparing us sandwiches. I watched her as she began to slice the tomato, her fingers wrapped around the handle of the knife. Something about it was oddly sexual.
“You’re doing that all wrong.” I made my way around the counter as her hands stilled. I positioned myself behind her, pressing my chest against her back as my fingers slid over hers. She shook as a chill ran through her body, and I was glad I was behind her so she couldn’t see the smirk on my face. I knew the tension between us was more than her being upset. I guided her hand as I sliced up the tomato. “There,” I whispered next to her ear, and I heard her breath catch.
“I see you didn’t forget everything,” she laughed nervously, but there was an edge to her words. She wasn’t good at hiding her emotions, and the pain was radiating off her in waves.
I backed away from her. “I guess some things just stay with you.” I took my seat on the stool across from her as I watched her finish making our sandwiches. There was something inside me that was pulling me to her. She obviously felt the same way or she wouldn’t be here, causing herself so much pain just to help me. I wondered if it were possible for me to start over and right my wrongs. I wasn’t sure I wanted the memories back if they were so bad.
Emma snorted, and her eyes quickly locked onto mine, filled with embarrassment. “Sorry…I just thought of something…funny.” She slid the plate of food in front of me. I grabbed my sandwich and began eating. Anything was better than that hospital food. Emma picked at the top of her roll, as she was lost inside her head. I wish I knew what she was thinking.
“Not hungry?” I asked as I took another bite. “You should really eat something.” I couldn’t expect this woman to take care of me and not herself. She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. I smiled over at her as I grabbed my plate and took it to the sink. I could hear the faint vibrating of a cell phone. I listened to Emma fish around in her bag before the sound stopped. Who was calling her that she didn’t want to talk to? Was she seeing someone else? Was that why she looked pained to be near me?
“Finished?” I turned around and pointed to her plate. She nodded and swallowed hard. I grabbed it and held it over the sink as I scrubbed it. “What are you thinking about?” I glanced over my shoulder at her as she sat sadly at the island.
“Just been a long week.” She sighed, and her shoulders sank. I put the plate in the sink and made my way over to her. She tensed as I put my hands on her shoulders and began to massage them. Her body soon relaxed, and she let me work out the small knots in her muscles.
“I’m sorry I put you through all of this. I don’t know what I did to deserve your kindness.” I laughed at the absurdity of my statement. “I really don’t.”
Emma laughed quietly and relaxed further.
“Come on. Why don’t you show me around?”
She stood and turned toward me as her eyes scanned the space. “Well, this is the kitchen,” she held out her hand toward the couch. “And the living room.” She walked around me and across the room, and I followed. “This is self-explanatory.” She pointed into the bathroom. She ducked by me, careful not to touch me as she made her way to another door. She pushed it open and took a step back. “This is your bedroom.” She looked down at the floor as I brushed by her to enter the room. It was stark white and looked completely out of place from the rest of the apartment that had rich, dark tones.