The Look of Love (The Sullivans #1) - Page 8/21

Chapter Eight

Chloe packed her bag first thing in the morning and put her jeans and T-shirt back on.

Last night had been too close. She'd wanted Chase too much.

Which was why she couldn't stay here any longer.

A new basket of pastries and fruit was on the counter for her again and pride should have dictated that she walk right by it, but that would have been plain stupid. She didn't have the money for a taxi. Which meant she was going to be walking out of here, down long country roads until she could find a bus stop.

Pride was fine and dandy. But not when she was going to desperately need the fuel to keep going.

Only, what had tasted so delicious the previous morning was sawdust in her mouth now, and she had to force herself to eat the croissant she'd picked up.

Of course, the folded note with Chloe written on it in Chase's handwriting didn't help, either. As she chewed and swal owed, she stared at the paper.

She swore it stared back.

It would be better not to read it. Just to walk out of here, say her thank-yous and goodbyes, and forget she'd ever met a beautiful man whose kisses tasted like heaven.

But Chase had been nothing but kind to her. So kind, in fact, that instead of taking her the way she'd been so desperate to be taken the previous evening, he'd put a halt to their kisses. He'd actual y pul ed his hand from her panties after she came for him and walked her home without another touch.

Oh, that first kiss had been intense. Wicked. Perfect. She could have kissed him al night. Chloe had dreamed of that kiss al night long, could stil feel the way they'd almost been taking breath from each other's lungs. She'd woken up aching for another kiss...and for the chance to cuddle up with Chase under a blanket somewhere and just kiss al night long.

It was that urge to cuddle with him, that desperate desire to feel warm and safe, that clarified her intention. She had to leave.

But the truth was, she'd wonder what had been in his note every second of every day if she didn't look at it. As she grabbed it off the counter top, the edges crumpled with her rough handling.

Chloe,

I hope you slept well. One day soon, I'm going to be able to enjoy breakfast with you. I'm looking forward to that. A lot.

Please join us again today. Everyone thinks you're great.

See you soon,

Hotstuff

HOTSTUFF

P.S. It does need all caps, don't you think?

Somewhere between the A lot and the crossed-out Hotstuff, al the tingly, mushy feelings that Chloe had been trying to squash inside of herself popped back to life. Bigger and stronger than they'd been before, even.

Last night, she'd been riding a light buzz and enjoying herself until Marcus's innocent questions. At which point she'd started guzzling his wine.

Chase had known she wasn't al there, that the wine had dul ed her just enough for her to give up control without a thought of protecting herself.

But they'd been so close to what she'd wanted and a not-so-secret part of her wished that he hadn't stopped them from making love. So much of her wished that he had just taken advantage of the fact that she was a little drunk.

What was wrong with her? If that's what she was wishing for, then she had some serious problems. And Lord knew if she couldn't control her mind - or body - around Chase any better than that, staying was definitely out of the question.

It didn't matter that she stil had nowhere to go. It didn't matter that her situation with her ex hadn't changed and that she stil needed to deal with police and see what they could do - if anything - to help her. Enough of this fantasy la-la-winery-land, with the beautiful clothes, pretending that this great guy was hers. None of that was reality. It was just prolonging the inevitable for another three days: Dealing with her ex, making sure he never hurt her again, and then rebuilding her life from the ground up and making sure it was the life she wanted this time.

Now for the hard part: saying goodbye to Chase.

Something told her it was going to be harder than getting hit in the face by her ex. More painful than driving into a ditch. Worse than standing in the middle of a hail storm.

Chase had been incredibly honorable. She owed him the same respect. She wasn't just going to sneak away. She wasn't just going to leave him a note like a coward.

She needed to head out to the vineyards where he was photographing the models with his crew, pul up her big-girl panties, and say a proper goodbye to his face. Sneaking out was for wimps. And even though the wimp inside her longed to prevail, it was time for her to learn how to be strong.

It was time to tel Chase goodbye.

"Chloe, thank God you're here!"     Jeremy looked frazzled. And not just because he'd been enjoying the fruits of Marcus's cel ar along with the rest of them the previous night.

"Chase was just about to send me to see if you were up yet." His glasses were on crooked as he explained, "Alice has the stomach flu."

"I'l go check on her," Chloe immediately offered, dropping her bag to the ground.

Jeremy grabbed her arm. "No! I mean, a doctor has been in to see her, but we can't risk anyone else getting sick if they don't have it already."

Chloe shook her head. "But I'm not part of the crew. I can stay with her and then you al can - "

She felt Chase's presence a split second before he moved into her line of vision. "We need you to take over for her."

Chloe blinked once. Twice. "Me?" She frowned. "What makes you think I can take over for her?"

"You were a lifesaver yesterday."

"I sewed up one dress."

"You did more than that. I saw you talking with Alice, helping her put outfits together."

Chloe shook her head. "They were offhand comments. I wasn't trying to take over her job."

"I know that. She knows that. But the fact is, you've got a great eye for color and pattern. You instinctively know what works. And the models trust you. They like you. That matters more than you know. If they feel great, they look great."

She opened her mouth to protest again, but before she could, he moved a little closer, close enough that her already racing heart al but jumped out of her chest. "We al need your help. I need your help."

How could she say no to him? He'd saved her that night on the road. Instead of being picked up by a ra**st axe-murderer, Chase had been a ful -on knight in shining armor. And now he needed her help.

She saw his gaze drop to the bag at her feet, then up the legs of her jeans, over her T-shirt, and come back to her face. When his gaze met hers again, she could see that he knew exactly what she'd been coming here to do: to say goodbye.

He didn't hide his disappointment from her. And oh God, she couldn't believe how much she hated seeing it. She wanted the man back who looked at her like she was lovely. Like he wanted her so bad that he was barely a breath away from taking her.

That was when she realized that even though she'd come to say goodbye to his face, it didn't change the fact that she was running again.

"I'd love to help." She looked between Chase and Jeremy. "Just tel me what you need me to do and I'l do it."

Jeremy dragged her off almost before the words were out of her mouth. But not before she caught Chase's smile.

And the fact that whatever disappointment had been there was now erased...desire and appreciation taking its place without even missing a beat.

The day flew by. Chase didn't real y need much direction with the clothes and Chloe knew he was only asking her opinions to make her feel involved. At first she was reluctant to say much. She didn't want to screw up his photo shoot, after al . But, just as it had been the day before, it was hard not to get swept up in the magic of it al . They were creating beautiful fairy tales out in the vines and without thinking, she began to cinch in the waists on dresses and sew up hems. Not only that, but when she actual y disagreed with the way the accessories he'd put together were clashing, she was amazed to realize that her choices were better.     And through it al , even though they were surrounded by the crew, attraction pulsed between them.

A part of her - the biggest part - wanted to run again. But with every hour that she spent working with Chase and his crew, she realized she simply couldn't leave them in the lurch. Plus, in those moments when she forgot to worry, she realized she was enjoying herself. A great deal.

At the end of the night, Amanda said, "We heard there's an awesome Mexican restaurant downtown."

Chase raised an eyebrow. "No margaritas."

Chloe could guess how he was with his sisters. Loving. Protective. But not overwhelming them with rules and regulations.

He was obviously a great brother. He'd make a great father.

The thought stopped her in her tracks but she didn't have time to dissect it because Jeremy was asking, "Should we save you guys seats?"

Chloe felt Chase's eyes on her, knew he wanted her to make the decision to either go with the group and hide out in the crowd like a coward...or face him alone. Planting a smile on her face that she was sure no one bought, she said, "I think I'm going to hang here again tonight."

"Have a good time. I'm sure Kalen doesn't want to work any harder than she already is on makeup, so get some sleep tonight, ladies."

"I'd like to go check on Alice."

Chase nodded. "Me, too."

The silence between them was fraught with al the things Chloe knew couldn't remain unsaid for too much longer. They drove over to the hotel where the crew was staying. Feeling terrible that they'd obviously woken Alice up from much needed sleep - she looked horribly pale and weak - they didn't stay long.

Chase waited until they'd pul ed up in front of the guest house before turning to her. "We need to talk."

"I know."

"You were going to leave." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," she admitted softly, "I was."

"Why?"

She shook her head, hating how difficult it was to be honest. But knowing she had to be. "I obviously can't control myself around you."

Chase's mouth moved up into one of those beautiful smiles of his. "I'm glad."

She shook her head. "It isn't a good thing."

"Why not? Why do you need to control yourself around me?"

She opened her mouth to tel him al the reasons why, but suddenly, al she could remember was how good it felt when he was kissing her, how good his hands felt as they moved across her skin.

Everything had been good.

"I - " She stopped, tried to straighten out her head before continuing. "We - "

Darn it, instead of her thoughts straightening out, they were spinning off in a crazy direction.

A real y crazy direction.

She was changing a lot of things in her life, right? She was going to stop running. She wasn't going to back down from a threat anymore. And she was going to stand up and take what she wanted when she wanted it.

Lord, did she ever want Chase.

She couldn't be thinking this, knew better than to even go there, but -

"Oh, hel ," she muttered. Chase lifted an eyebrow at her soft curse and she made herself face him squarely. "I can't believe I'm about to say this."

She swal owed, grasped her hands in front of her in a nervous gesture she couldn't contain. "I honestly don't even know how to say it."

"You sure know how to keep a guy on the edge," he said in a slightly husky tone.

Chloe took a deep breath and forced herself to just spit it out. "Maybe we should just have a fling."

"A fling?"

She could feel a flush moving across her skin. "Sure. Like you said, why not?" Beyond nervous, she started babbling. "Last night was real y great and you're right, I was a little drunk, and I probably would have woken up in the morning and felt weird about it al . But I'm not drunk now."

"No," he said, his intense eyes never leaving hers once, "you're not."

"I've decided I'm going to stay to help. For the rest of the shoot. I'm not going to pack my bag up again and come find you to say goodbye. No matter what happens, you can count on me."

Oh God, this was awkward. Why wasn't he just grabbing her and taking what she was trying so pathetical y to offer?

"You and I obviously have something between us. We're both consenting adults. It just seems to make sense while I'm here and you're here that we could maybe just, wel , enjoy that."

"Are you saying you want to have sex with me?"

Oh God. She'd almost cl**axed from the husky sound of his voice...and what he'd said.

"Yes." The word came out shaky with need. "A lot."

His mouth quirked up at the two words she'd stolen from his breakfast note.

She could feel, could see, how much he wanted her. And yet he wasn't pul ing her into his arms, wasn't just taking her right there between the rows of vines under the rising moon.

"Of al the things I thought you were going to say to me today, Chloe, this wasn't on the list."

Oh crap. She'd just kil ed herself laying it al out on the line and he was going to be honorable again, wasn't he?

No, no, no!

"Kiss me again."

"I promised myself I wouldn't take anything from you that you didn't want to give."

"I want to kiss you. I want you to kiss me. Al day long I've wanted you to kiss me."

"Fuck."

She bit her lip before forcing herself to voice her thoughts aloud: "That's the idea."

Chase took her hand, hurried up the front steps, and kicked open the front door, not stopping in the living room even though it meant waiting another few seconds for the pleasure he'd been craving.     He wanted her in a bed, the way he'd been picturing her for forty-eight straight hours, na**d and flushed with desire - and pleasure - for him.

In the end it felt like hiking halfway across the county just to get to the bedroom, but then - final y! - they were inside the room. Chase closed the door and locked it, before forcing himself to drop her hand and to step back a few inches.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

She hadn't hesitated, but stil he had to say, "Absolutely certain?"

"Yes."

Again, there was no hesitation, only a growing irritation in her eyes that he was stal ing. But he cared about her too much to do anything to hurt her.

"Once we start, I'm not going to be able to stop. I want you too badly."

At that, the faint irritation in her eyes was pushed aside by need, her eyes dilating at the force of her arousal.

He didn't want to scare her - didn't ever want her to be scared again - but she needed to know.

"This is your last chance to change your mind."

Before he could take his next breath, her fingers threaded into his hair and her mouth was on his, her tongue pushing against his. He lifted her into his arms and moved to the bed, his mouth never leaving hers for a second. There was no finesse, no gentleness in their kisses.

How could there be when they were both pure need?

Just that quickly, al thoughts of honor were forgotten. Al that mattered was Chloe. Worshiping her body.

And loving her.